To allow my 10 yr old DS cook dinner every day

[NobbyD]

DS is 10 and massively into cooking. He pretty much thinks, reads and watches everything there is to know about cooking, baking and cuisine. He's a little chef in the making.

He started cooking dinners once a week for us, then got the buzz and now pretty much plans our weekly meals using recipes from Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey and the like. He makes breakfast and dinner every single day. And I'm not talking bung in the oven, or jar stuff. He'll cook risottos, seafood pasta, curries, and especially likes cooking fish and seafood with an array of veg. His ultimate day out is going to the fishmonger, choosing a fish he's not heard of and then finding a recipe, then going to a greengrocer for organic veg and then cooking it. He's honestly amazing! And I've even now got him washing up before and after.

My question is, should I allow him to cook every day? I've been told that I shouldn't let my 10yr old cook for me everyday. That it could be dangerous for 10yr old to be using the oven, the hobs, grill, etc etc. That I'm the mother, I should be cooking for him or at least with him (he doesn't want me in the kitchen, he hates it if I look over him but I am supervising from the other room where I can see him). But tbh, he's better than me. His meals are nutritious, cooked from scratch, and balanced (nothing that I could achieve). But I've been told that like any hobby/obsession, there needs to be a balance. He needs to find other interests. He's only 10!

He plays football for a team too. He also has a younger brother, 6, who is disabled. So his cooking time is when he gets to relax and do something he loves away from his very demanding brother. I've even woken up of a weekend and DS1 is making cakes with DS2 at 7.30am letting his little bro stir the mix!!

I'm trying to find him a culinary school but all the ones for kids are basic stuff like pizza making, which is so below his standard he'd be bored, and all the ones he would like to do are for adults only.

AIBU to allow him to indulge in his cooking obsession at 10 or should I fully embrace this and be grateful I have DS who is smart, talented, and wants to cook for the family?

You must be so proud! He sounds so passionate, how wonderful that he has a hobby he loves so much (and potential future career if that is what he wants)! It's just a bonus that it's something that benefits the family so much 😃

He sounds amazing. He might like this book too:

www.amazon.co.uk/Larousse-Gastronomique-Greatest-Cookery-Encyclopedia/dp/0600602354/ref=sr_1_3?s=gateway&crid=3NSD9PC4XHK2F&keywords=larousse+gastronomique&sprefix=larousee+ga%2Caps%2C169&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1557752180&sr=8-3#reader_0600602354

Hi OP,

Your son sounds wonderful and you are encouraging his extraordinary talent.

I'm sorry if this has been suggested as the thread is long and I have just read over your posts but I wanted to suggest your son could sometimes invite a friend from school to play and they could cook together for fun. Something easy and fun like home made pizzas and crispy cakes. Your son might enjoy showing his friends what he can do and I'm sure his guest would enjoy it.

You could also encourage your son to make extra sometimes for the freezer so if you all go out and are back late there are meals ready to reheat.

As you have already said he doesn't always have to cook if he is ever fed up - I'm sure even top chefs that cook posh food all day sometimes go home for a fish finger sandwich!

There's a podcast with Alex Baldwin called the passion of flynn Mcgarry. You should listen to it. He started cooking when he was 10. His mother homeschooled him so he could cook all day everyday. He has his own restaurant now at 19 and heading for Michelin stars. It's amazing. Your ds would love him.

Sounds like a little star, I think people have a preconception that if a hobby is "different" to what other kids are into it needs to be monitored and regulated, there were 10 year olds mucking about with computers 30 years that are now millionaire heads of tech firms so I say embrace it.
If youre feeling guilty about him doing all the cooking, ask him to give you lessons, then it becomes something you can do together without him thinking you're just supervising him.
Other posters have said about asking local restaurants if he could go in and see their kitchen during a service, I think that would be a fab Idea, and he'd also see the social side / teamwork involved in a professional kitchen.

Thank you so much to everyone who has responded! I've taken notes of all the fab books and advice. He'll love the books as he's a little bookworm too (mostly cooking manuals now). And the idea of getting him into a restaurant would be amazing for him. Good to know I'm not doing the wrong thing by indulging him in his passion :)

Absolutely, yes! I really hope you will feel free to encourage and support his very healthy interest, as it sounds like you have been doing. Be strong against any negative voices from within or from others. I can't see any good reason against, not in your post or in the comments so far.

I very rarely post on here, but you've lured me in with this one.

As for balance, he already has a very broad focus for his age, e.g., shopping and researching as well as cooking. If it overflows into interest in growing food, marine biology, ecology, household budgeting, etc. then so much the better, but even if not it's a great thing to focus on for general personal development, imho.

As for safety, you are the best person to assess whether he's competent and safe with the tools he's using. Don't let other people muscle in with less knowledge. That's not to say everything is safe, but you are in the best place to decide and advise him. I, personally, thinking of things my children are reasonably competent with, would want to supervise the first few uses of any new tools, e.g., a mandoline or food processor, but otherwise would not feel I need to see what's happening. Too much supervision has a cost, mainly to confidence, but potentially to safety, because it's harder to concentrate under pressure.

Jack Monroe's books and website are worth looking at if you want to introduce the idea of budgeting. It could be seen as a challenge to rise to, not a constraint, if you can afford the sort of cooking he's doing at the moment.

I hope you all continue to enjoy this for a good long time.

If I were you I'd go with the daily option as that's clearly what your gut is telling you and what you think is best.

Alternatively maybe you could try every other night for a week or something, just to trial it and then see which option works best for you as a family.

Failing that he could always come and cook for us each night!!

You must be so proud of having a son with so much passion for something, all the best.

Nothing to add really, I'm just chuffed for you - sounds like he knows what he likes and they do have mini master chef type things at secondary schools sometimes so it's well worth keeping in touch with food tech teachers. My 11 year old has started cooking basic meals with my mum. Both kids have always liked helping.

You are being EXTREMELY unreasonable.

Sorry to burst your happy little bubble but I think the least you could do is let me adopt him.

I just looked at those pictures again and now I'm STARVING but my arm hurts so I can't be bothered to cook anything fancy.

I'm in Berkshire @NobbyD - what time can DS drop off a nice risotto? Maybe a pudding as well actually, I really am pretty hungry.

Cheers

He sounds amazing!

Take him to Books for Cooks in Notting Hill sometime - it’s a dedicated cookbook shop and has a cafe and cookery school. It’s really relaxed and friendly, and has an interesting history. Their courses are great too.

OP this is such a lovely post, your DS is amazing.

The only point is I would maybe go with every other day, and help him with other hobbies. I used to support families (in particular children with a disabled sibling) and quite often they would enjoy cooking as a way of relaxing. I would just be aware that quite often children in these situations often say they want to do these things because they want to relieve pressure from a parent - I thought this when you said he made you cups of tea in the morning and evening. I'm not saying this is the case, I'm just saying be mindful. This is the reason we used to encourage children to play games if they had a sibling with a disability or with caring responsibilities. But other children we used to do cooking activities (for example pizzas) so they could learn life skills.

I also agree with a PP to try and see if you could link him with children that have similar interests.

Please don't take this in a negative way, he sounds such a treasure.

What a little treasure. Enjoy it while it lasts he might grow out of it!
My oldest went through a sushi-making phase which was great!

I wouldn't leave him to cook for the family every day. It's a huge task for a 10 year old. However, I think it would be lovely if you joined him in the kitchen and did it together?

Still let him do one night a week on his own for you though, and enjoy!

I used to support families (in particular children with a disabled sibling) and quite often they would enjoy cooking as a way of relaxing. I would just be aware that quite often children in these situations often say they want to do these things because they want to relieve pressure from a parent - I thought this when you said he made you cups of tea in the morning and evening. I'm not saying this is the case, I'm just saying be mindful. This is the reason we used to encourage children to play games if they had a sibling with a disability or with caring responsibilities

but even if OP had another child with SN, why would she steer her DS to playing games when it is cooking he hugely enjoys??? and in the real world, siblings of disabled children have to chip in a lot more than other kids with housework and caring. It's totally normal given the lack of support such families receive.

And to encourage children to play games if the gave a disabled sibling. What line of work are you in. Whenever I read this tripe I am actually happy that no agency (SS or otherwise) wants to offer support to us (one child is severely disabled).

What's in the menu tonight, OP?

no one would ever say to a budding footballer / swimmer just once a week anything else is too much, there is a boy in my DD class he is 10 the same age as OP's son; he is in a squad of U11 at a good football club not quite premier league he travels 90 minutes each way 2 nights a week after school not back till 9pm and one day time session at weekends
while I think it is a bit much ( but mostly for sibling) who travels 90 minutes in car sits in supermarket cafe / mcdonalds for 2 hours with mum then travels 90 minutes home, there is no-one saying stop him playing it is too restrictive it is too much for him; you need to watch him, don't let him do it alone you need to be on the pitch with him, he could hurt himself he might pull a muscle or break a bone so don't let him ( he might hurt himself and get injured just like Op's son might burn his hand on oven practically every cook has had a little burn at some stage just like every footballer has hurt an ankle or fell awkwardly or something it is not a reason to stop) ... it sounds ridiculous just typing it. The club expect 3 times a week commitment from a 10 year old which involves 5 hours 2 school nights and 6-7 hours every Sunday ie 16-17 hours per week, with no guarantee whatsoever he will make the team in next group up in fact if he doesn't make grade he will be dropped like a hot potato,
I rather doubt OP's son is spending this amount of time cooking but even if he were it is just comparable,

@rainbowbash thanks for the support! DS1 is an amazing big brother and I don't think he does the cooking to be "helpful" if that was the case it would be simple dishes and not spicy peppered salmon with scallops on a bed of kale. I honestly believe this is his passion and escape.

Tonight's dinner he actually didn't cook! It was the first day of his SATs so we took him out for dinner where he ordered another sea bass meal and got the impressed eyebrow raise from the waitress. whilst there I showed him all this support and set him up on Instagram. Check him out: Condachef on Instagram

@ThatCurlyGirl often travel to my folks in Bedfordshire so you never know, we could set up a meals on wheels

@Collectorofcookbooks thanks for the great rec! So many places to take him now :)

Check out the Ginger Pig butcher in London - they do days where you butcher and find out about different cuts of meats, have a go, eat some and bring some home. My DH and a friend did it.

My 18 month old cooks pretend fish on his ikea kitchen. So there

He sounds wonderful.. I think you are doing exactly the right thing in encouraging, nurturing and facilitating his passion. And you're right he will make someone a lovely partner one day. In fact, I'm not far from London and have a 10 year old who loves eating...

@ethelfleda haha! I'd love to say that's where DS started but sadly not, that age he was lining up plastic animals... huh, maybe that was to slaughter 🤔😳😂

@TitchyP we must get them together then!!