To allow my 10 yr old DS cook dinner every day

[NobbyD]

DS is 10 and massively into cooking. He pretty much thinks, reads and watches everything there is to know about cooking, baking and cuisine. He's a little chef in the making.

He started cooking dinners once a week for us, then got the buzz and now pretty much plans our weekly meals using recipes from Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey and the like. He makes breakfast and dinner every single day. And I'm not talking bung in the oven, or jar stuff. He'll cook risottos, seafood pasta, curries, and especially likes cooking fish and seafood with an array of veg. His ultimate day out is going to the fishmonger, choosing a fish he's not heard of and then finding a recipe, then going to a greengrocer for organic veg and then cooking it. He's honestly amazing! And I've even now got him washing up before and after.

My question is, should I allow him to cook every day? I've been told that I shouldn't let my 10yr old cook for me everyday. That it could be dangerous for 10yr old to be using the oven, the hobs, grill, etc etc. That I'm the mother, I should be cooking for him or at least with him (he doesn't want me in the kitchen, he hates it if I look over him but I am supervising from the other room where I can see him). But tbh, he's better than me. His meals are nutritious, cooked from scratch, and balanced (nothing that I could achieve). But I've been told that like any hobby/obsession, there needs to be a balance. He needs to find other interests. He's only 10!

He plays football for a team too. He also has a younger brother, 6, who is disabled. So his cooking time is when he gets to relax and do something he loves away from his very demanding brother. I've even woken up of a weekend and DS1 is making cakes with DS2 at 7.30am letting his little bro stir the mix!!

I'm trying to find him a culinary school but all the ones for kids are basic stuff like pizza making, which is so below his standard he'd be bored, and all the ones he would like to do are for adults only.

AIBU to allow him to indulge in his cooking obsession at 10 or should I fully embrace this and be grateful I have DS who is smart, talented, and wants to cook for the family?

@schoolchoicesucks Yes! I hear you. I did tell him off for baking whilst I wasn't up. He'd only got as far as mixing the ingredients with his brother, but I still said he isn't to do anything unless an adult is present

Your update about how he cleans and tidied as he goes along sounds much better. I think it sounds lovely and would also completely support my kids in this if they genuinely loved it. No different to sitting on the Xbox like you said.
Maybe if there are any local Michelin starred type places, you could email them and explain what he’s already doing and do they have any suggestions if courses for his age/level as you can only find “Male a pizza” type courses. They might have some good ideas/have him in etc

I've always encouraged DSS and DS with their interest in cooking. From about that age, both would regularly cook for the family - although DH and I also enjoyed cooking so didn't want them doing it every day. DSS is now married to a woman who cannot cook (she's amazing at other stuff though) and is very happy as the chef of the household. DS and I now share the meal planning and cooking now there's just us two, and his early experience means that whatever he cooks it's guaranteed to be very tasty and I can leave him to do a weekly shop and know he won't come home with just Pepsi and pringles!

I don't think 10 is too young to be cooking if it's his hobby and outlet. DS first cooked for us at about 6 - a carbonara with home made sauce - with his oldest brother supervising him at the hob. I think it's great.

make a pizza. No idea how you “male a pizza” FFS autocorrect today!

I still said he isn't to do anything unless an adult is present

are you absolutely mad?? You get to lie in bed while your ds entertains your other ds? and makes a cake in the process??

I'd be spending money on cake ingredients and telling him to get on with it. Might have to add the caveat that he can only turn the oven on after he's made me a coffee and brought it up.

We can see what career he's going to go into when he's older. Jamie Oliver had better look to his laurels! You'd better start checking out specialist cookery schools now!

@ColchesterElderly - thank you! Yes, prob should have explained the cleaning/washing up thing better.
Good idea about emailing the restaurants. I've been tweeting Jamie Oliver with DS1 meals but not a like yet!

Get him into Nigella. She's brilliant at liking and replying on Insta.

{The happiest adults I know are the ones who have followed their passions from an early age and were allowed/encouraged to do so.}

This, in bucketloads. Encourage him and give him a 'lift' with the washing up. Life it to enjoy as much as possible.

@Fazackerley HAHA! I should prob add in here that he does make me a tea in the morning, and of an evening when I've come down from putting the little one to bed and he often makes me scrambled egg on toast on weekend mornings...

How are his social skills?

I think it's great that he has a hobby he enjoys but it does sound like this has taken over his whole life.

I would be concerned if he is doing this instead of socialising with other children his own age. It's a very grown-up hobby, although I agree it sounds amazing that he is taking this load off you.

If he isn't playing out with friends, etc, you might want to introduce a certain number of nights each week when he doesn't cook and support some more social activities on those nights.

He sounds like an absolute gem. I think I love him. Give him a cuddle from all the randoms on mumsnet.

I think some people criticise anything a child is really into, if it is not the norm. He loves what he is doing, so let him crack on. The only thing I would be wary of, is checking out that he is not doing this because he feels extra responsible because he has a disabled sibling. The bit about wanting to raise money for the charity made me wonder this. The other thing I would check out is that you give him attention for other things, not just cooking, so that he doesn't feel this is the only way to get attention.

But if he genuinely enjoys it - lucky you. And him learning how to keep a surface tidy and clean and be organised, shows that he wants to act like a professional cook. So ignore those saying you should wash up.
I too would get him on a food hygiene course.

I would talk to him though about learning how to cook with what ingredients you have, and not just following a recipe. Because I do think that is when you really learn to cook. Just as another challenge for him though.

Might also be worth getting him to talk to a fishmonger/butcher for tips about how to cook what he is buying.
You could also suggest junior masterchef to him?

I wouldn’t do anything to discourage him from tidying up, though it’s good that you help. How many times have we had women complaining about their DP/DH cooking a meal, expecting a pat on the back, but leaving the kitchen like a shit tip for the woman to clean up? I’ve lost count. It’s good that he clears up too. Well done OP, I’m so jealous.

Do you want to swap him with my 24yr old that loves cooking but has dyspraxia! It’s up the bloody cooker, cupboards etc, by the time he’s finished! 🤣

😯 OP he sounds amazing. I’m sure there must be excellent college or chef somewhere that will take him on. If I had a DS like that, I would hunt down Gordon Ramsay for a one to one with him in person or via email to ask his advice on how to further nurture this talent.

Aw this sounds so sweet! As pp are saying, the people who are born knowing what they want to do with their lives are the lucky ones.
I can see him him in 14 years time in ‘A Day In the Life’ having hit his first Michelin Star (well, may be a bit later but already in the way) or similar saying “I was lucky that my mum realised I was serious about it .. when I was really young, and gave me every encouragement..” 🙂

He wants to and enjoys it so let him crack on, it’s not like you’re asking him to or making him.

Oh he sounds absolutely lovely!
Definitely better than having his head stuck in a screen, nurture his love for it!

As long as he is enjoying himself why not? Some kids do gymnastics everyday, if you learn a musical instrument then you need to do daily practice.

Have you watched Masterchef Junior? It's amazing what some children can cook.

@Fazackerley I will!

@Goldmandra OK, you've hit on something there. His social skills aren't great tbh. He's always been shy. He finds it hard to make new friends. He's always had a hobby that is a single-person hobby. He does however play football after school and for a team at weekends, so there is that. He's just not overly confident in socialising (nor am I). I'm not too concerned with it, because I was the same and his younger brother, DS2, who has SN is overly social. Like, ridiculously so. DS1 is the opposite of that which kind of balances things out in my house.

He sounds lovely and definitely worth encouraging. I’d be really tempted to speak to some nice independent restaurants/cafes in your area and see if they’d have him for a day or two in the holidays. Even if just a few hours. He would probably love to see a more developed/industrial side to his passion and it could be really good for him. I know I worked in the industry before and we had a couple of kids his age for the day & they were so refreshing compared to the work experience there for requirement rather than interest kids. Might not be feasible that he’s hands on or anything but I’d definitely consider it. If you are keen to let him explore his passions have you considered giving him a budget for food for the week? Maybe sit down and plan & shop on a Saturday for the next 7 days? It would be a good life lesson starting to budget this early, and he will learn how to balance out his cheaper meals with the more costly.

The thought of knowing risotto with fresh ingredients was going to be cooked for me later, not a one-off ..

For Junior Masterchef you have to be aged 8-13, and he would also get to meet other kids with the same passion. As long as he does not get too stressed at competition, he might love it. I always think its good for kids with unusual hobbies/passions to meet other kids with the same hobbies.

It might be a good idea to teach him how to budget financially too, as you don’t want this lovely young man to have unrealistic expectations when he grows up. How about giving him a set amount of money for ingredients every week? He gets to use stuff you already have, while working out what he can cook, from his budget.

Then send him to me, because I’m shit with money. 😳😁