To be annoyed at my sister for missing an important family event?

[sweetkitty]

I probably am and will probably get flamed but here goes. In January I sent out the date of a important event for my DS, think once in his lifetime imports to him kind of thing. My sister is his godmother and very close to him.

About 3 weeks ago she tells me she can’t come she’s away with work, she has a job where she travels an awful lot but I had assumed she would have blocked out the date.

Today she posts she’s at a Health/Fitness convention, she’s recently turned into a health/gym nut and I think she’s booked this then realised it’s clashed with DSs thing.

I am annoyed that she’s lied and posted the whole days iternary of FB (she’s turned into a health bore posting work outs at 4am/green juices/boot camp holidays) and said she’s working? DS was upset when I said she couldn’t come today.

DH said forget about it if she had wanted to be there she would have been.

You are most definitely not being unreasonable, for a godparent to miss a 1st Communion is shocking 😱😱😱. Aunts, Uncles, all family are expected, even if you are lapse or even a complete non believer - this is not an event that you choose a fitness weekend over.

I can only assume those saying you are BU don't know what a communion is, or how much of a big deal it is.

I'd be disappointed if my Sister had pulled that stunt, but don't respond or make comments re her FB posts. Unfortunately I think you have to massively lower your expectations of your sister.

Sorry, I've just noticed now that it's your SIL, not your dsis. Is she on your side or dh's side?
Did you have a good day for your son anyway?

YANBU. She is his godmother and should def attend his communion.

YABU.

It's disappointing, sure, but you have the option of setting the tone for your child and not making it a big deal. It's not a big deal that someone other than his own parents can't be there on the day. He's 9.

@INeedAFlerken I've explained that it IS in fact a big deal. It's the equivalent of a birthday party where none of the invited children turn up.

It’s not like that at all. His parents, and presumably his siblings, were there.

Does a communion have to be this big a deal?

Did OP say if her son noticed and/or cared that his Aunt wasn’t there?

It IS a big deal!!! Not to the parents, but to the children.

They grow up watching every year before them have their day in the sunshine and they think about the day when it will be THEIR BIG DAY!.
Honestly, it's massive to the children.

“Does a communion have to be this big a deal?”

No. But traditionally it is.

“Did OP say if her son noticed and/or cared that his Aunt wasn’t there?”
He will most certainly have both noticed and cared that his godmother wasn’t there.

It is bad of her but it could have been a mistake. YANBU being upset though.

DSis made a commitment when she agreed to be Godmother. 1st HC is THE most important event for young people in the RC church. She should have been there.

I'd be more upset at the lies, though. Why couldn't she just say she double booked and oculdnr make it

shes not obliged to run her life around your child

It’s hardly running her life around OPs Child to expect his godmother to turn up to his holy communion. I’m an atheist but even I think this was a big deal and very important to OP and her DD

My godparents didn't come to mine. And I'm in rural Ireland where we love to make a meal out of every church thing.

@Baloonphobia Aye, but your remember that they didn't come!

As it was for mine, my dsis stole my thunder as my mother went into labour with my dsis at 6pm on my FHC day [cry] So my Granny had to mind me (which was a treat in itself), but the whole day was called to a halt!

Good point! Nobodies came. It was just immediate family. But there were no parties either. People went out for lunch and went home afterwards. All I cared about was how much money I got.

My DM had my brother on my 3rd birthday so I feel your 'stole my thunder' pain.

I hated my FHC dress because my mother had hand-made it. The other girls all had fluffy dresses and gloves and umbrellas/parasols.

Looking back on my dress now - my dress was actually ahead of its time. It was very Little house on the Prairie maybe, which wasn't the fashion at the time.

Tried it on my own dd but she was a year older and to big for it. I was 7, whereas dd was 8. The sleeves came up to her elbows lol.

I must ask my dm to send it to me.

They grow up watching every year before them have their day in the sunshine and they think about the day when it will be THEIR BIG DAY!.

I can honestly say I did NOT feel like that about my holy communion.

One of my god parents came. The other had university exams and couldn't come.

The non attendee godparent sent me £40 in 4x £10 notes. Man that was so good! Total riches.

Maybe the OPs sis will send loads of money and the DC will be delighted she didn't come.

I still remember to this day buying a pink catsuit. I was never allowed to buy stuff, we had hand-me-downs mostly or other heinous stuff my mother would make and itched me, so buying the height of fashion at the time, was a big deal to me!

Then Mammy went into labour and so her Mum (my grandmother) came to mind us for the night and that suited me down to the ground as she'd play cards with us for the night!
But it did cut the proceedings short.......... And I recall being a little sad. I was only 7!

Ye, getting the cash was a BIG THING!

I still remember my mother crying at me in my little white dress and feeling very embarrassed. We weren't a family who showed emotion really. Maybe the fact that she was 9 months pregnant and about to give birth were a factor! I always remember my FHC date as my dsis was born at 00.05 the following day.