To think husband could be a bit more husbandly?

[ilovemycatmorethanyou]

This is a little lighthearted so please don’t let’s go all LTB 😂

Name changed as it could be a bit outing.

DH and I went out last night for a meal and drinks with friends, we don’t go out very often, maybe once a month.

When we arrived he bought me a drink and we sat down at the table. We weren’t in a round with anyone and the other girls husbands were going up to the bar to buy their drinks. My glass had been empty for a while so I got up to buy myself a drink, asked if he wanted one but he didn’t.

We have independent finances, always have had.

AIBU to wonder why I’m the only female getting up to buy her own drink? I felt a bit peeved by it.

Am I being a princess?

Yes let me, instead of expecting it should all be "equal".
He knows we have different roles and accepts that.

I’m not asking you to bother Pamela.im solvent and don’t need to count pennies
We have separate finances.we go out we pay our own individual share
there’s no we in our finances

well, ok LipstickHandbagCoffee, good for you?

misspolly our version of mutual respect doesn't involve one of us being superior. Just because I have periods or gave birth doesn't mean my DH should be buying all my drinks. What about women who don't have children....are they less superior in your world?? Should they buy their own drinks??

Outdated, sexist claptrap

Don’t do the and well ok.you made a point being aghast at pennies being counted

hope all these women who expect their husband to always do the bar run make sure to always cook and serve him his dinner.

I don't expect my husband to do the bar run. He wants to do it. Sometimes I cook and serve him his dinner but not always. He doesn't expect that I do it. Some people on here have got very odd views. Good laugh reading them though.

Agog at the notion on social do the men sit in male groups,women in their group

God forbid the two group mix or the women get all forward and go up the bar

Yep princess!

posters could have a point if someone was saying that their husband should get their drinks. No one has said anything of the sort.

Some of us have preferences, and as usual others, like to jump judge and mock because "feminism". I'd rather be team princess than telling other women that their choices are wrong when they are strictly none of my business and have no impact on anyone else.

Some posters are so independent and free so on that they can't tolerate that someone doesn't agree and some of us prefer to stay seated.

This thread is making me so glad I've met my boyfriend. We both amble into the pub together and size up whatever ale is on tap. We'll pick a different one each, usually, and one or other of us will get the first round. It doesn't really matter who, just one or other of us. Then we drink our pints at roughly the same speed. We'll probably try each other's pints to see if the other has chosen a better one. Then whoever didn't buy the first round gets up to buy the second. Rinse and repeat.

We take beer quite seriously but it would never have occurred to me that for some reason I shouldn't go to the bar because he's there and it would never occur to him that it was his job to. But we'll always keep an eye out for each other, always let the other one know when we're going to the bar and generally look out for each other as equals.

I hadn't realised this was quite so unusual, so thanks for giving me another reason to be glad I've met him and realise how right we are for each other.

Also I am 5ft nothing and I always get served quickly at the bar- short enough to zip through to the front, nice enough the bar staff serve me 😂

Completely agree ConstanzaG.
MissPollyHadADolly , do you really believe all this sexist stuff? It makes me concerned about your attitude to UK laws about gender equality, positive discrimination, same sex marriage and other equality issues.

@mrsmuddlepies Sorry, haven't read every post but I am completely shocked by the number of posters who cannot go up to the bar

You're missing the point. All women on here can go to the bar. Some of us don't because we don't have to when we are with husbands who want to go to the bar. None of this affects my views on same sex marriage etc. Jeez lighten up.

I’m a samh, our child isn’t at nursery yet. I do all the childcare when partner is a work. Before we had a baby I worked full time.
We have separate accounts. But our money is still shared. He pays all the bills out his wages and if there is anything left we both get a treat. I get the child benefit and that goes on our child.
He would definitely go and get me my drink and my brother and who ever else was there. He would keep getting me drinks. To be frank it’s our money he’s spending and he’s a gentleman. He’s respectful. He opens doors for people regardless of gender. I’m no princess believe me! Yes I do cook for him, not everyday. He is always appreciative and washes up afterwards. We basically work as a team.

@costanzag I said I see myself as superior because of those reasons, I'm not talking on behalf of womenkind.
My DH is happy with his role and I'm happy with mine. Different strokes an all that.

It's lovely to be treated like a princess, some of us are just lucky

😂😂😂

Lucky isn’t what I’d call it.

I wouldn’t even go to the bar with friends and be all buying our own individual drinks, let alone my DH! I just can’t imagine this. What is the point of being married if you can’t share your money? It makes no sense. I really do t mean to be rude but why?? You’ll share your chromosomes to make new human beings, but not your bank account? Madness! You might as well justc stay single and share a house like flatmates if you don’t trust them enough.

@mrsmuddles I'll be honest with you, it's not the laws that bother me, same sex marriage, equality etc. It's people's attitude when trying to "promote" it. Pompous, righteous, can't-be-no-other-way type of crap.

misspolly wow.....and not a hint of irony. I suspect your DH doesn't have a choice in the matter.

@costanzag yeah he had a choice, not to marry me if he didn't like my views. In what way is it ironic?
All I see on here is new gen feminists spouting how some of us are being disrespected by wanting our DHs to be chivalrous.

Women empowerment FTW

DP goes to the bar when we are out. Unless its the end of the night and I have the smart idea to buy shots

Gentleman,respectful doesn’t equate to buying your female dp a drink
The act of spending money doesn’t initself render a man a gentleman or respectful
Associating money with romance is deeply patriarchal. It Implies a transaction Eg the More a man spends more romantic he is

Most women want a partner who will treat them with respect. I don't want old fashioned values because they're inherently misogynistic.

I want equality and respect and my DH gets that in return. I'm not superior to him and vice versa. We both feel lucky to have each other and love each other deeply. We're both feminists and those values are important to both of us. What you consider to be 'chivarly' we consider to be good manners and mutual respect which are applied equally..... regardless of gender.

YANBU I hate going to the bar and avoid it at all costs! If I m out with DH he always goes!

Actually when we are drinking at home dh always fetches the drinks too, it's just become his job for some reason. I do plenty for him. Suits us.