to worry about slightly chubby 4 year old DD?

[microferret]

My DD is 4 and a half, 107 cm tall and weighs 20.3 kilos. Our daycare provider flagged up her weight as a potential concern at the last meeting we had, a couple of months ago... It has been on my radar since she was about 2 though.

I'm at my wits' end... We did everything right. She was EBF until 6 months, and then we slowly introduced solids. We offer lots of veg and fruit. I made sure small amounts of sweets and treats were part of her daily intake because I wanted her to have a healthy attitude to them. She loves them, but doesn't over do it. She understands that there are limits, and accepts them. She doesn't overeat at all! She's active, she runs about a lot and rides her bike. It's baffling.

After the meeting, DH and I decided to take some action. We decided to skip carbs in the evening, so she has a dinner of protein and veg, and then some olives or a small amount of nuts if she is still hungry. But it's made no difference - she's still gaining weight at a worryingly steady rate. She has a sweet treat after daycare at about 4pm, just to make sure she doesn't feel deprived. Breakfast and lunch are normal, with carbs. The daycare staff don't feel she really eats too much, they say she eats just like the other kids do, who are all of course skinny as rakes.

I'm really at a loss at this point. It's a mystery as to why she gains weight constantly. DH and I are both slim, we eat lots of veg and model good behaviour. I wasn't a very skinny child although I was never overweight until my teens, but even I remember feeling horribly different and chunky because all the other kids were beanpoles and I was more muscular, with short legs. Even though my mum was feeding me super healthy stuff and I only ate sweets and desserts at weekends.

I just don't want her to suffer like I did. It's a quandary.. Do I take action now (and what fucking action, really, apart from starving the poor kid???) and risk screwing up her relationship with food, or do I relax and wait for the puppy fat to disappear, and risk the problem getting worse?

Has anybody experienced similar? Can you offer tips?
*if you're coming on to tell me about your kid who was fat until 2 and then became a skinny minny with a huge appetite and hollow legs please don't. It's not the same situation and isn't helpful.

My biggest concern would be that a nursery/childcare isn't exactly an authority on identifying obesity in children.

Personally, I'd discuss her with a health visitor or healthcare professional.

Lol. My little boy is a very similar in terms of height, weight and build. He always looks very solid next to his friends but his waist is tiny. I think all kids are different and as long as they get plenty of exercise its fine. She looks fine, just solidly built which isn't bad.

She is fine and her diet sounds good. Wish my fussy 4 year old would eat better. My dd probably has a bit of a sweet treat everyday. She is skinny and has always been 50th percentile pretty much for height and weight. I wouldn't ever restrict her eating normal foods if she wanted them. Some mornings she can eat a couple of bowls of cereal and then sometimes toast or fruit. But that's how she is, can seem to go ages without eating a lot then have a few days of eating loads.
My second daughter is already stockier at 16 months and I know she will probably be a different shape as she gets older.

She looks strong and sturdy, and I imagine that's how she's meant to be. I agree maybe you could try to avoid ice cream every day but I honestly don't think you have any cause for concern OP.

You're treating her diet like she's an adult. Give her small portions of full fat food inc carbs, but small portions: she doesn't need nuts or olives! And cut out the ice cream. If she's putting on weight it's because of what you're feeding her.

Also you're sounding a little obsessed with the puppy fat thing. She looks fine from that picture. If anything/one is going to give her a weight complex OP it sounds like it's you!

I think there are a lot of people minimising the amount of sugar your dd is having daily. Children her age should have a maximum of about 19 g which is around 4 level teaspoons. If you check ice cream alone I think you will find that is well in excess of this guideline.
I think irrespective of healthy or not healthy weight you need to change her snacks to something more nutritious, maybe a few cubes of Cheese and some cucumber or an oat cake, a few olives, some apple slices, a few grapes, some strawberries? Lots of alternatives which would be nice after a busy day at nursery.
My suggestion would be to look specifically at sugar in her diet, reduce to a maximum of 19g per day, ensure she has three or four portions of vegetables a day and 1-2 portions of fruit and only let her drink water or milk.

If her nursery teacher mentions it continuously the next time is swiftly let them know you have no concerns neither does her GP, she’s in the right category for her BMI thanks bye”

Also you're sounding a little obsessed with the puppy fat thing. She looks fine from that picture. If anything/one is going to give her a weight complex OP it sounds like it's you!

Caught up after my last comment and this is exactly what I’m thinking!

Praying it puppy fat?! Wow OP. I’m more concerned your daughter will grow up with a complex / unhealthy relationship with food. Is the worst thing your child could be in fat?
Tackle your own food issues is my advice- and let the poor child have a carb with her dinner (the ice cream could go just as it’s a bad habit to get in to)

Sorry OP haven't read the whole thread, but it really isn't good advice to give a child a "sweet treat" every day. Mine only ever get things like that at birthday parties, and they honestly never ask for them, and I'm sure don't miss them. I think this may well be contributing. I would be overweight if I had a "sweet treat" every day. Eating as little as one biscuit a day over your recommended calorie intake, is enough to make an adult put on half a stone after 6 months or so.

If she has stayed on the same centile and she’s now a healthy BMI I doubt she was ever ‘immensely fat’ as a baby. Stop praying about her imaginary ‘puppy fat’, stop encouraging your worries with the spectacularly idiotic food advice on this thread and get yourself some counseling. Your attitude to her body risks being a huge contributory factor to future eating disorders and body image issues for her.

Op I wouldn’t worry about the ice cream. I work in a school and some very slim kids have huge lunches with lots of treats! I think a lot is down to genetics and growth patterns. I bet your dd is fine with three healthy meals, exercise and a small treat it’s very unlikely she is over fed.
My dd is slightly bigger but eats far less than my very skinny dd1 and ds. Look into gut bacteria also.

Oh my goodness she doesn't look chubby at all! She looks perfectly healthy and slim
OP. If she was thinner she'd look very skinny for her frame I think. Some kids are just extremely long and lean, that doesn't mean they all have to be like that.

I really wouldn't worry OP, but I do think if you keep focusing on it like this she will sense it and end up with a bit of a complex. Swap out the ice cream for something else on some days maybe just so as not to habit form, but I really don't think you need to for weight reasons. And to be honest a small scoop of ice cream is probably less calorific than some cereal bars (you could change to frozen yoghurt if you are particularly worried).

If everyone was supposed to be the same, there wouldn't be any percentiles. Honestly OP her weight is fine. She looks pretty much ideal weight for her height and if you are noticing a little chubbiness, it's probably preparation for an upcoming growth spurt. My younger cousin is nearly 6 and he was getting quite the spare tyre then he shot up like a damn weed and suddenly over the course of about 6 weeks, all his trousers look like they've fallen out with his socks and he is slimming down noticeably when you look at photos from 6 months and a year ago you can see the pattern. He bulks right up and then sprouts about 6 inches.

I really do think that she is fine and probably due a growth spurt but certainly nothing that warrants dietary changes, except for maybe losing the sweets every day but that would be more for the sake of her teeth than anything else.

If she has always been on the 91st percentile i honestly dont understand why you are desperate for her to drop. Wouldn't that be concerning in itself?

The food issues are coming from you and your background I am afraid. You say your son was the same, did you limit his carbs?

I also think you need some help, your at risk of causing the same issues your mother caused you

She's 4. She looks fine. Kids need carbs. Please back off with this nonsense.

google converted that as 44 pounds

my now 8 y old was that at 18-22 months(ish)

im confused here,how much is a 4 y old "supposed to weigh" then?as mine has been ,massive since birth and used to put on 2-3 pounds a week

my 8 y old is 5ft 1 and 125 pounds

@dadshere...yes her weight is at the higher end for her age...but so is her height. My daughter is 11 and weighs 7st10lb which puts her around the 91st percentile...but she’s also 5ft3inches tall so in the top percentile for height too. You can’t take weight in isolation as it means nothing without the height too. A paediatrician this week said my daughter was totally fine, tall and slim.

@tor8181... there’s no such thing as ‘supposed to’ because children of 4 vary so greatly in height. Also what is ‘average’ at 4years 1 month, would be very much not 4 years 11 months.

Log an entire weeks diary of what DD eats.
Write her age, weight, height etc down.
Put down what exercise she does daily and for how long she is active.
Then go to see the GP with this log and tell them what you've told us.
We are all built differently but there may be something causing her to balloon.
My youngest looks like a beanpole but she somehow carries weight. Can can't see where. She definitely has muscle but she's a slip of a thing and it's baffling.

Jeez, leave the poor child alone, don't project your body image issues onto her.
Cut the treats. Not out entirely but she doesn't need sweets every day. Don't cut carbs, fgs kids need carbs. Olives and nuts are great btw, yes they contain fats but good fats, better than ice cream etc.
Increase her exercise.
Doing a quick check her bmi is normal, although at the high end. That's fine. Some people just are a stocky build. Someone has to be at the upper end of the healthy range. Accept it. Please don't give her eating issues.

Do yourself a favour OP and seek advice on this matter elsewhere.

In your first post you say the daycare provider flagged up the issue. In a later post you refer to this as the daycare assistant. You say your father, a retired GP, isn't concerned. I know which opinion I'd be listening to.