to worry about slightly chubby 4 year old DD?

[microferret]

My DD is 4 and a half, 107 cm tall and weighs 20.3 kilos. Our daycare provider flagged up her weight as a potential concern at the last meeting we had, a couple of months ago... It has been on my radar since she was about 2 though.

I'm at my wits' end... We did everything right. She was EBF until 6 months, and then we slowly introduced solids. We offer lots of veg and fruit. I made sure small amounts of sweets and treats were part of her daily intake because I wanted her to have a healthy attitude to them. She loves them, but doesn't over do it. She understands that there are limits, and accepts them. She doesn't overeat at all! She's active, she runs about a lot and rides her bike. It's baffling.

After the meeting, DH and I decided to take some action. We decided to skip carbs in the evening, so she has a dinner of protein and veg, and then some olives or a small amount of nuts if she is still hungry. But it's made no difference - she's still gaining weight at a worryingly steady rate. She has a sweet treat after daycare at about 4pm, just to make sure she doesn't feel deprived. Breakfast and lunch are normal, with carbs. The daycare staff don't feel she really eats too much, they say she eats just like the other kids do, who are all of course skinny as rakes.

I'm really at a loss at this point. It's a mystery as to why she gains weight constantly. DH and I are both slim, we eat lots of veg and model good behaviour. I wasn't a very skinny child although I was never overweight until my teens, but even I remember feeling horribly different and chunky because all the other kids were beanpoles and I was more muscular, with short legs. Even though my mum was feeding me super healthy stuff and I only ate sweets and desserts at weekends.

I just don't want her to suffer like I did. It's a quandary.. Do I take action now (and what fucking action, really, apart from starving the poor kid???) and risk screwing up her relationship with food, or do I relax and wait for the puppy fat to disappear, and risk the problem getting worse?

Has anybody experienced similar? Can you offer tips?
*if you're coming on to tell me about your kid who was fat until 2 and then became a skinny minny with a huge appetite and hollow legs please don't. It's not the same situation and isn't helpful.

Fiveredbricks - it is a myth that skimmed milk has sugar added to it. Regardless, switching to semi-skimmed from full fat hardly equals a horrific and dangerous dietary choice. I do agree with you in general though re: low fat options, particularly yogurts.

What are her portion sizes like? It's very easy to underestimate how much is on the plate and too much healthy food is still too much food.

It has to be portions OP...look at the portions. Are they large? Can you check the NHS guidelines?

Pic of her here - you wouldn't really think she's that chubby to look at her. She's just noticeably sturdier than most of her peers

She’s fine. Forget about it

Don’t worry OP I was sturdier than most as a kid- it’s honestly genetic. Doesn’t sound like she’s eating badly or inactive- just keep showing her healthy choices and ways.

Oh my goodness OP going by this pic I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about! She looks perfect and so lovely in her little dress

And she’s not chubby she’s just not a waif (nor should she be)

I would definitely check daycare meals. My two get pudding after lunch and after tea at their nursery. Sometimes it's fruit but can be ice cream or cake too.

Hmmm. It could be the portions at kita I guess? At home we've got those wee kiddy plates with partitions for different foods. I mainly give veggies cooked with a small amount of olive oil (broccoli or cauliflower) plus raw stuff like carrots, cherry tomatoes or cucumber, then a portion of protein like a scrambled egg or a couple of veggie sausages. For breakfast she has cereal which is in a kid's bowl, she usually doesn't finish it. Sometimes she does eat brekkie at kita which is bread and cheese and fruit. As I've said, they don't think she eats any more than the others.

She's probably just got a shite metabolism like I had at that age

The NHS BMI calculator suggests she is a healthy weight.

Your GP is not concerned.

In the nicest possible way it is you, not her. Continuing this way risks making your problem with her weight into her problem with her weight.

Aprillygirl
Thank you! I made her the dress actually because the drop waist tshirt dresses suit her little shape and they're so hard to find.

I think maybe I'm just overthinking the whole thing because of the 5 tonnes of baggage I'm lugging around from my own childhood

She looks fine to me. If you have baggage around food then it could be colouring your view. There are growth charts online just stick to that.

She looks lovely. I love the dress.

I’ve been overweight ever since I was 8 so have always worried about my own kids. Luckily, so far (10&8), they’ve been right where they should be. However I get why you are so worried.

First of all a snapshot in time isn’t any use for a child. She may be about to sprout and I know mine both filled out at that age and then suddenly went up 5cm. My son grew upwards for 2.5 years without putting on a pound (he was under hospital observation for that) but was healthy and fit throughout. I think there is no particular reason to worry at this point but check again in 4 months or so.

For my kids I’ve gone with two things:

1. they can eat as much as they like at mealtimes. They both have huge portions but at least one third of their plate is veg. They cannot have pudding unless all the veg is finished. But we keep snacks to an absolute minimum. This often means that dinner is at 3:30/4pm as they are hungry when they get in from school. Any other snack is fruit - I know some pp have said there are more calories in a banana than sweets but it fills them up more and has fibre. TBH they rarely eat fruit. They just eat 3 big meals a day. Even with the ice cream van outside school every day in the summer we restrict it to 1x week. Other days we just go home and have dinner.

2. exercise! They both do loads of it. They have clubs after school nearly everyday and we walk miles at the weekend. My dd has done 30mins dance, 1 hour of football and walked 4 miles today. She has also eaten 3 weetabix, two burgers in buns (at a football tournament) and a slice of cake. She’ll have pasta, chicken and crudités with a yogurt for dinner.

Every family will have different ways that work for them. Without seeing a weekly diet plan it’s hard to make any real suggestions but more veg on a plate is never going to be bad advice.

I think she looks a bit sturdy in the photo but it's hard to tell. ( maybe her dress is really bulky). She looks chunky around the middle. It's not a problem for now

but it might be if she gets fatter in the future. If I were you I would be quietly careful and hope she slowly slims down over the next year. I wouldn't cut out the ice cream I'd just watch her food.

It's no big deal.

Jesus christ, OP there's nothing wrong with her. Ignore whatever you've been told!! Humans are all shapes and sizes and arent all supposed to be in the 50th percentile.

She looks like a perfectly healthy sized child for her age and percentile.

Her BMI is healthy (though top end).

I wouldn't worry too much - though agree that she doesn't need sweets/ice cream every day. Mine probably have something like that twice a week at home but they also get cake & custard type puddings at school/nursery.

If your doctor is happy with her and can see her in real life please don't listen to random (some very bad) advice on here. It sounds like she has a healthy diet mostly and active lifestyle. Children just like adults have different bodies and different reactions. If you had issues with your mum/food/weight which led to your own issues with food you don't want this repeating itself.
I've met lots of teens with eating disorders whose parents also have disordered eating.

She looks similar to my daughter, who is 5 in September. My DD is 105cm and 18kg (we have been chatting about measurements otherwise I wouldn't have known). I've noticed DD looks slightly bigger one week then looks slimmer and we usually find she's a few cm taller.

Op The sweets and ice cream aren't good for her teeth

I've put her weight and height into the bmi chart (the one used in Germany where I live too) and she seems to be on the same percentile for height and weight which is what I was always told was the main thing. As for icecream every day, that is common here too, but important to point out that you are probably buying gelato which is less calorific. I think you might be projecting a bit. Has the doctor ever flagged any concerns ?

She’s fine. Keep doing what you’re doing.

My HV told me that when children get to age 4/5 they naturally fatten up a bit then slim down again and just to ride it out and keep them active and eating a bit of everything. So I wouldn't panic, tbh at that age they get one good vomiting bug and they end up as skinny as rakes.

She looks fine and she might be due a growth spurt. I would still be switching some of the food to avoid giving too many calories (for example offering sorbet instead of ice cream, rice cakes instead of nuts, etc...).

This is Germany, everybody is skinny AF, bloody Teutonic genes. I grew up there as a stocky then slightly overweight teen. It sucks and it's hard not to compare. But in this case, I'd say your DD is perfectly normal, everyone else is just skinny. Relax about it all and focus on promoting healthy self esteem in your DD instead.