to worry about slightly chubby 4 year old DD?

[microferret]

My DD is 4 and a half, 107 cm tall and weighs 20.3 kilos. Our daycare provider flagged up her weight as a potential concern at the last meeting we had, a couple of months ago... It has been on my radar since she was about 2 though.

I'm at my wits' end... We did everything right. She was EBF until 6 months, and then we slowly introduced solids. We offer lots of veg and fruit. I made sure small amounts of sweets and treats were part of her daily intake because I wanted her to have a healthy attitude to them. She loves them, but doesn't over do it. She understands that there are limits, and accepts them. She doesn't overeat at all! She's active, she runs about a lot and rides her bike. It's baffling.

After the meeting, DH and I decided to take some action. We decided to skip carbs in the evening, so she has a dinner of protein and veg, and then some olives or a small amount of nuts if she is still hungry. But it's made no difference - she's still gaining weight at a worryingly steady rate. She has a sweet treat after daycare at about 4pm, just to make sure she doesn't feel deprived. Breakfast and lunch are normal, with carbs. The daycare staff don't feel she really eats too much, they say she eats just like the other kids do, who are all of course skinny as rakes.

I'm really at a loss at this point. It's a mystery as to why she gains weight constantly. DH and I are both slim, we eat lots of veg and model good behaviour. I wasn't a very skinny child although I was never overweight until my teens, but even I remember feeling horribly different and chunky because all the other kids were beanpoles and I was more muscular, with short legs. Even though my mum was feeding me super healthy stuff and I only ate sweets and desserts at weekends.

I just don't want her to suffer like I did. It's a quandary.. Do I take action now (and what fucking action, really, apart from starving the poor kid???) and risk screwing up her relationship with food, or do I relax and wait for the puppy fat to disappear, and risk the problem getting worse?

Has anybody experienced similar? Can you offer tips?
*if you're coming on to tell me about your kid who was fat until 2 and then became a skinny minny with a huge appetite and hollow legs please don't. It's not the same situation and isn't helpful.

Where does this calculate come from, please? Just thinking about my own DD, and have never heard of this

Don’t know the origin but it’s a common formula used in pharmacies, a&e depts etc. Usually written on a white board somewhere!

When i practiced it was actually 2(age+4) for all children, but a check now tells me they’ve changed it for under 5’s.

A couple of things to try:

• use a scooter or bike or walking to get to nursery instead of the car
• gymnastics or swimming lessons or both at the weekends
• kids aerobics on YouTube

Change the daily treat to a piece of fruit

A child does not need a sweet treat daily in order to not feel deprived. Once a week is fine, i think you are projecting your own food issues onto her.
Also, the language you use isnt great. "Bean pole", "skinny minny" and "chunky". As you dd gets older, she will start to pick up on your attitudes toward body image and you really dont want her to feel bad about herself while she is so young. Im not suggesting youd ever say this to her but if you are going to watch everything she eats and constantly look at any extra fat she has on her body, she will pick up on these things.
She sounds like she eats healthy (accept from the sweets daily). Maybe get her a bit more active? If you are still worried then speak to her doctor. But she doesnt sound over weight, she is most likly just built like that due to genetics.

I think it maybe lot to do with portion size and also a doubling up of meals at nursery with meals at home. It may help to find out exactly what is served at nursery and plan from there. Also bear in mind that some of the DC will finish the entire plateful while others will just pick at it. I wouldn't drop carbs from your evening meal; you may find your DD is less hungry for nuts ad olives then.

I’d be very wary of limiting children’s diets without good clinical oversight. Sweets each day are not a good thing clearly but generally restricting foodstuff is a bad idea. If you think she’s excessively fat take her to the GP. Ignore paediatric dietary advice on here.

My youngest was a little round ball at 2-4 years. Above 90th percentile from birth. By year four she was referred to hospital because her weight had plummeted for no real reason and she looked like a waif. She’s ended up as a 4’11” size 4-6 in U.K. sized but very healthy.

I think you’d benefit from getting some proper guidance about it, maybe make an appointment to speak to a nurse.

You give your child ice cream every day so she doesn’t feel “deprived”?! Can I suggest you speak to someone about your unhealthy attitude to food?

OP-Some of the responses on here are from people who clearly don't have sufficient knowledge to give useful advice. Changing the "sweet treat" to fruit could actually increase the calorie content, if the portion size is as small as the number of calories you stated suggests. It sounds like you really need to chat with your GP, and see whether he or she needs to investigate. Your DD's health is too serious to leave to chance.

If you were like this, and are a good weight now, your DD will most likely be too.

The DC after all get both nature and nurture from you.

No need for ice cream, sweets, olives and nuts every day though at 4

Also confused about the daily sweet treat. Mine would have had a weekly sweet treat at that age, it’s not depriving them and that’s still a healthy attitude towards food!

I would also cut out the nuts and olives. Salt overload right there. Instead, maybe homemade hommus with vege sticks or similar.

Mine are now teenagers/young adults and they have just grown up with this as the norm. This Easter we gave them a large choc rabbit each (even at this age) and all rabbits were finished last week so without anything said from us each of them self-regulated eating of the rabbit making it last a few weeks having a few nibbles here and there once or twice a week. That’s because they grew up considering this normal, it hasn’t led to any eating disorders.

OP didn't say ice cream AND sweets, she said OR.

I would agree that maybe it's not needed every day and that might reinforce a habit but equally the once a week thing can lead to a dieting/bingeing pattern.

It doesn't actually sound like she's particularly overweight though and some kids are just never going to be the "beanpole" type. As a kid who was slightly chubby myself then borderline anorexic as a teenager then pretty normal and slim as an adult, I would say don't make a big issue of it or encourage the idea that she needs to be like the others (I very much had that idea and it was at the root of a lot of problems - I just didn't have the bone or muscle structure to be that way!)

I had a friend who’s parents did ‘sweetie day’...when we went to high school she would spend her dinner money on a huge bar of chocolate every day.
The point being whatever strategy you use there are some people for whom it won’t work.
At no point did OP say that it was a reward to have a sweet treat either. It’s just how she chooses to approach those kinds of foods, no way is right or wrong.
What month does turn 5 OP?

I don't its the sweet treat after nursery. My dc have something sweet after school most days...a biscuit, mini chocolate bar or something and pudding everyday. Both are slim. There are kids from dcs school who go to the sweet shop after school every day and are slim.

I honestly believe its the genetic lottery. Posters like to believe you can control it and if they are slim like to believe its their strength of character.

Sorry that should read...i don't think

I have a 4 year DD with a big tummy. She eats loads and nursery will sometimes tell me she's had 3 portions of dinner!! They have never mentioned her weight though. She is very active and on the go constantly. She's definitely more muscular and seems to feel very robust compared to other kids her age ( they seem to have little sparrow like arms and legs). She does get too many treats though ( some me, some nursery, some grandparents party food etc.)

I'm am going to try and cut back on the treats as they get way more sugar than I ever had as a child. I also tend to find my DD beefs up before a growth spurt then looks leaner for a while.

Please don't cut the carbs though, ask for help from dietician if you are not sure.

I also seem to think I was the same shape as a child and was a very fussy/picky eater so I do think it is genetic!!

Not much to add but change any white rice, pasta, bread to brown to increase fibre and keep her feeling full for longer.

Mine has chocolate or a biscuit every day. I had an ice cream every night at a kid - neither me or DD are overweight. It might not be the food on its own.

Look into her portions. Sometimes we give them more that they should eat. Think about her fist that's the size of her stomach. Also maybe she need more activities to burn some calories.
My 13 year old he is 5'5 and 49 kilos.

Rather than frequency of food or type have you checked portion size? That's the number one reason for weight gain (in adults too!). They other thing is to develop a healthy attitude to food and exercise rather than being too worried. Switch out the sweet treat for carrot and cucumber sticks with hummus perhaps too. Whole family healthy activities from garden cricket to cycling and running. She will slim down as she grows as long as you monitor things

It is overweight but I wouldn't panic. Can you keep scales and height chart at home to monitor? We were told our D's was overweight after first school checks but by the time the letter came through he'd had a growth spurt and is now bang in the middle of the healthy weight range. Don't go cutting carbs or anything like that. I would just increase exercise ( walk/ scooter more) watch the treats and keep an eye on it. Chances are it will sort out. If it hasn't by the time she's at school maybe have a word with your GP but they looses lot of puppy fat at that age

My dd was huge as a baby (over 10Ib) and kept her chubby baby leg fat for ages. In fact at nearly 8 she has very slight 'bulge' for want of a better word above her knee where there used to be a huge bulge. OK, not very technical or clear! However she was checked at school and within normal weight for her height. Her father told me he used to be called Little Bhudda (him and his brothers were all over 9Ib whereas I was 7.4) and that by 8yo all of it would disappear. It has - she has skinny arms, tiny bump of a very slight 'pot' on the knicker line and the faint 'bulge' on the leg which could be mistaken for slight thigh muscle. Weight is dependent on so many factors - height and muscle being the main. Dd has school sports and does swimming once a week so isn't hugely sporty but keeping a healthy activity once a week (since 3yo) has made me feel better at the times I had similar concerns to you OP.

Sounds like you are over compensating for your own childhood. I never brought any snacks to nursery pick up, and never saw other parents do so. If you want to bring something, make it some carrot and cucumber batons or a rice cake. Even a small number of sweets will be bad for her teeth, put her into a habit of needing something sweet every day and if she is anything like me, prompt her to seek out more food.
They do tend to get thinner when they start school, however, speaking as a mum of a boy and a girl, I am still fascinated by how little my daughter needs to eat compared to my son. Girls really don't eat a lot. Please don't start cutting out food groups. She is 4. Get rid of the sweet treats, moderate portion size, no juice and she will be fine.

It's clear here why shes gaining weight, and amazing that you are oblivious to it. A scoop of ice cream daily? She doesnt need that daily at all!
I think your mum actually had the right attitude and you are the one doing it wrong.
You've made junk food part of her daily meals. Why not cut it down to once a week?

however, speaking as a mum of a boy and a girl, I am still fascinated by how little my daughter needs to eat compared to my son. Girls really don't eat a lot

No, you have two children, one eats less than the other. It’s nothing to do with their sex.

Some children eat a lot, some don’t.