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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

7 DHs from adjacent houses cycling all weekend (again)!

458 replies

ballisticcyclistic · 11/05/2019 07:19

I’m sitting here with ice on my ankle because yesterday I twisted it during a ridiculous situation where I had to take 4 special wheels to the garage for DH’s car and he’d loaded these in my car at 5am. I couldn’t park in the garage forecourt as no space, so I had to park up the road. Then I couldn’t lift the bloody things out of the back of my car, so I just pulled two out and tried to roll them along, but the road was on an incline and the wheels took on a will of their own, like wagon wheels rolling off, One was veering into the road so I had to chase it like a lunatic and I caught the edge of my wedge sandals and twisted my ankle which is still very swollen. So that was yesterday afternoon.

DH complained to the garage that it was unacceptable that nobody they’d helped me, but he has since apologised so I’ll just put behind me, but there are repercussions now for this weekend.

We live on a street where we actually get on with lots of neighbours (rare for London) but this is mainly led by the DHs who are all cycling fanatics. This weekend they are all off to the midlands for some famous ride I’ve never heard of. There are seven of them going.

Now normally I’d be glad of the peace, but today I have -

  • Landscape gardeners coming around 8am
  • The flooring man coming at 9am
  • I need to leave at 9.30am to get DS (14) to his tutor, 20 min drive away, so I won’t be back until 12
  • DD (11) needs to be at a party for 1.30pm which a good 40 min drive, but could be more like 2 hours because they’ve closed Hammersmith Bridge and Putney and Chiswick Bridges are rammed. Also, I can’t walk to the tube and this DD has a broken toe as well
  • One DS in the midst of GCSEs and will need support / someone to practise French with / test him etc. He is working very hard, but sometimes just needs calming down or distraction. Other DS also has end of year exams starting on Mon and he needs a fair bit if input due to dyslexia.
  • 2 new kittens who I have to watch in case they get out due to gardeners leaving doors open
  • Plumbers coming at some point in the afternoon

AIBU to be a bit miffed? Of course, I know DH can’t cancel the ride now, but I feel aggravated and it’s only 7am!

OP posts:
ThisIsTheEndgame · 11/05/2019 07:21

Of course he could cancel the ride. He's a selfish dick. Cyclist husbands do seem to be in a particular level of selfish.

Ces6 · 11/05/2019 07:22

Most of the problems are a sign that you have a pretty nice lifestyle tbh so look on the bright side !

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 11/05/2019 07:22
  1. get a blanket
  2. hide under blanket on the sofa
  3. pretend to be invisible/unable to hear anyone
  4. keep this up all day
ukgift2016 · 11/05/2019 07:22

Surely this is a conversation you should be having with your husband?

Also I dislike cyclists and would never date one. Selfish twats on the roads and in their personal life's. Yes I know I am making a big judgment here haha.

isabellerossignol · 11/05/2019 07:23

How are you going to drive with a swollen ankle? Is that not dangerous?

YANBU to feel miffed. Presumably when the cycling weekend was arranged your husband was aware of all these things happening, with the exception of the party which was probably only arranged recently.

MrsOnions · 11/05/2019 07:23

He could absolutely cancel the ride! Should you even be driving with a busted ankle?

isabellerossignol · 11/05/2019 07:24

That is, I wouldn't mind my husband going away for the weekend at all but just don't think it's fair to arrange it in the middle of so much other stuff.

ShrinkWrap · 11/05/2019 07:24

Sounds rubbish! Can you call in some favours? Either from the other miffed neighbour wives. Or perhaps parent of other party attendee could give daughter a lift?

Ghanagirl · 11/05/2019 07:26

Of course you should make him stay and help out

Original poster
ballisticcyclistic · 11/05/2019 07:26

He won’t cancel because you had to get a place on this ride and he says it’s training for the big ride he’s doing at the end of this month (I think) which he does every year and it’s abroad (for one week).

OP posts:
englishdictionary · 11/05/2019 07:29

All of those things were already happening before you hurt your ankle anyway.

CookieSwirlC · 11/05/2019 07:30

How long have you known about the cycle ride and when did you book all the other stuff in? If you booked everything knowing your dh wasn’t going to be around then tough luck. If dh booked the cycle ride knowing you were up to your eyeballs today then he’s a twat.

SoonerthanIthought · 11/05/2019 07:32

could ds get a black cab to the tutor and back? mytaxi app can bring it to your door.
has your dd got an aircast boot for the toe? if she can walk, is there an older teenager in the street who could be paid to take and collect her from the party? (not one who has an A level exam at the beginning of next week though!)

Teateaandmoretea · 11/05/2019 07:32

This reply has been deleted

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iVampire · 11/05/2019 07:33

Is this VeloBirmingham, as part of final prep for one of the European classics?

Teateaandmoretea · 11/05/2019 07:34

Just checked, general entry was October.

Cornettoninja · 11/05/2019 07:34

I would be pissed off too tbh, I don’t know how much perspective that truly offers since I’m a fairly bitter martyr naturally though Grin

Practically though I would set up the kittens locked in a bedroom with litter, toys and food/water so I didn’t have to think about them at all. I would sack off any notion of studying till tomorrow - sounds like the kids could do with a break too to be honest. They could help with the general letting in of tradesmen then to ease the time pressures on you a bit.

Have you already checked if there is someone going to this party that could possibly take your daughter as well? Even meeting them halfway would help you.

Cornettoninja · 11/05/2019 07:34

Oh and pay some scaly to nick your dh’s Bike.

vjg13 · 11/05/2019 07:35

Any chance of sharing the party drop off with anther parent? My husband is away all for 3 nights on a football thing so I feel your struggle!

Stuckforthefourthtime · 11/05/2019 07:36

I'm not a big fan of cycling, but clearly this ride is a big deal and was booked a long time ago.

Clearly also from your list of activities that need doing, you are well off, and have lots of close neighbours. Can you not put out a last minute shout for paid help or ask for help from friends?

ShowOfHands · 11/05/2019 07:36

That's just a normal Saturday in a busy family. My DH goes away a lot and some days are busy but you manage or you reschedule or you ask for help. DH does the same when I'm away.

PrincessMaryaBolkonskaya · 11/05/2019 07:36

It’s always cyclists. Bloody cyclists.

Skittlesss · 11/05/2019 07:36

He can cancel the ride, but he doesn’t want to. Why should he give up his lovely day being a bike rider to assist you with the wife work?

OddBoots · 11/05/2019 07:36

If you get on with the neighbours would any of the other spouses left behind be willing to help out, even just to kitten sit? Are you sure DD can go to the party now? Could she miss it (are you safe to drive anyway?)

BlueCookieMonster · 11/05/2019 07:37

That’s so much stuff going on in one day? Can’t you just cancel some of it? Give your DC’s the day off practicing French etc, ask another parent for a lift for eleven year old, scrap the tutors for one week etc?

If it was me, I’d be ordering McDonalds and just doing the essentials and knocking everything else on the head.

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