7 DHs from adjacent houses cycling all weekend (again)!

[ballisticcyclistic]

I’m sitting here with ice on my ankle because yesterday I twisted it during a ridiculous situation where I had to take 4 special wheels to the garage for DH’s car and he’d loaded these in my car at 5am. I couldn’t park in the garage forecourt as no space, so I had to park up the road. Then I couldn’t lift the bloody things out of the back of my car, so I just pulled two out and tried to roll them along, but the road was on an incline and the wheels took on a will of their own, like wagon wheels rolling off, One was veering into the road so I had to chase it like a lunatic and I caught the edge of my wedge sandals and twisted my ankle which is still very swollen. So that was yesterday afternoon.

DH complained to the garage that it was unacceptable that nobody they’d helped me, but he has since apologised so I’ll just put behind me, but there are repercussions now for this weekend.

We live on a street where we actually get on with lots of neighbours (rare for London) but this is mainly led by the DHs who are all cycling fanatics. This weekend they are all off to the midlands for some famous ride I’ve never heard of. There are seven of them going.

Now normally I’d be glad of the peace, but today I have -

• Landscape gardeners coming around 8am
• The flooring man coming at 9am
• I need to leave at 9.30am to get DS (14) to his tutor, 20 min drive away, so I won’t be back until 12
• DD (11) needs to be at a party for 1.30pm which a good 40 min drive, but could be more like 2 hours because they’ve closed Hammersmith Bridge and Putney and Chiswick Bridges are rammed. Also, I can’t walk to the tube and this DD has a broken toe as well
• One DS in the midst of GCSEs and will need support / someone to practise French with / test him etc. He is working very hard, but sometimes just needs calming down or distraction. Other DS also has end of year exams starting on Mon and he needs a fair bit if input due to dyslexia.
• 2 new kittens who I have to watch in case they get out due to gardeners leaving doors open
• Plumbers coming at some point in the afternoon

AIBU to be a bit miffed? Of course, I know DH can’t cancel the ride now, but I feel aggravated and it’s only 7am!

Other things maybe. But taking his spesh car's spesh tyres to a spesh garage. He could jog on if he were my DH.

Also other DS could get a tube, bus or Uber to the tutor just for once.

Depends when you booked gardener , plumber and floor person to come. If it was after he booked his race that's poor planning , if it was before he booked the race then a conversation about either him not going or rearranging the gardener etc.

Lock kittens in your bedroom. Sons studying will be fine for one day. Or take younger son with you and help him in car whilst other is at tutor or party.
Rearrange workforce if too much.
Cancel tutor.
Share lifts for party.

Cant believe you took on 2 new kittens in such a hectic household!! Whose idea was that?
Put tomorrow aside for helping DC with exams. Leave for today. Your dh can do it. Order pizza or something quick for dinner. Just make things as easy as possible for today and leave dh to do all tomorrow.

Also l would have flatly refused to take those wheels as l would know l couldn't manage. Are you a bit guilty of taking on too much...learn to say...l wouldn't be able to manage that.
My dh has a habit of suggesting jobs to me like that and l just look at him like...you must be joking!

I agree with PP - the cars are his hobby, not yours. So he deals with them. That's part of the hobby / fun, surely? Otherwise he's being very unreasonable doing the bits of a hobby he enjoys and farming out all the shit parts to his wife.

Your OP had me giggling. Sorry! It is a very funny image with the tyres and your day does sound totally crackers.

You will be already deep into it by now but I'd definitely have found alternatives to driving the kids around. The 14 year old could perhaps have got an uber or public transport, then do the party shepherding?

I'd stick with the tasks that can be done at home. Those are doable with a ricked ankle. Kittens confined to one room for the day.

Could the revising DS (presumably 16?) escort DD to/from the party?

This close to GCSEs surely he either knows French or he doesn"t by now. Perhaps French could be spoken at all mealtimes between now and the exam?

I would suggest a joint calendar- the gmail's one works for use but I am sure there are others. You each have a colour and put everything in. Cycling trips, trades people appointments, kids activities everything.then you get to see how practical each new booking is before you decide to go ahead.

There are lessons to be learned going forward about being realistic for sure, but don't add that to today's doing list.

I'd stop being his Hobby PA for a start.

You're in London, book an Uber for teenagers.

And those that say First World Problems, well that applies to most of MN when you think about it.

I read that it was the 11 yo going to the tutor so I amend the above.

Tutored DC the bus or tube awaits!
Honestly you've no need to leave the house today.
Sit down as relax with a coffee and Mumsnet!

I don’t have much sympathy for you, op. If you can afford tutors, landscape gardeners, new floors and having special cars as a hobby it means you can afford to throw money at this problem. Your DS can get a taxi to his tutor if he is too precious to use public transport. Your DD can get a taxi to the party if there isn’t another parent available to give a lift.

I agree that cyclists are twats. I went on a few dates with one a long time ago and he was the most selfish, self absorbed person I’ve ever met. I wonder if it was the OPs DH

You need to nip the 'doing the leg work' for his hobbies in the bud now. Stop doing all this for him, you have enough to do. He wants it, he does it and in his leisure time with adequate time for yours! Except, i bet you dont have any leisure or hobby time fo you?

Yabvu sending all them Lycra clad cyclists down to my way .

All the roads are closed to allow them to do their thing .

I just want to get to Aldi to my shopping

All Your kids are school age and you don’t work right?
You have a gardener so I’m guessing also a cleaner?

OP this is all normal stuff. No biggie.

If the cycling pisses you off discuss it.
Why isn’t he travelling to Birmingham tonight given the ride isn’t until Sunday.

Registration for the Velo closes at 8pm. He doesn't need to leave until mid afternoon, by which time all the drama is over. If the car load of cyclists is insistent on leaving earlier, there are about 7 trains an hour from London to Birmingham, so a Plan B is easy to make.

Yes, kittens shut in a room. Lifts, public transport or taxis for DC. Feet up!

Your husband is extremely selfish because you are indulging him. Just stop. You really shouldn’t be taking his hobby cars for a service (I say this as the wife of a car collecting husband so I get it completely). It’s not your job. I would also expect him to cancel his (already unreasonably long and inconvenient) cycle trip today to help given you can’t get everything done. Your husband sounds like one of those men who thinks his wife is his mother and somehow responsible for taking care of everything for him so he can have maximum fun. Why are you letting him get away with this?

FYI with a swollen ankle it’s best to walk on it a bit to avoid damage and speed up recovery so do try to move around the house every now and then. Hope you’re feeling better soon

Canyou that is a really good point, he could help and still do his thing but it never occurred to him to do so

That tells you everything you need to know

Why do I feel like OP is going to ignore all these helpful practical suggestions and be a martyr? Please prove us wrong OP and come back to tell us that your tutored child has been packed off in an Uber.

@smokesandeats I think this is just a small part of ops problems. You can make a husband reasonable and caring by throwing money at him.

“caught the edge of my wedge sandals”

YABU for wearing inappropriate footwear in the first place!

My husband is a cyclist, I bloody love having an active husband who is fit, spends time with friends, gets out and about - my last husband was a couch potato with a TV remote glued to his hand!

You have a long list today, and it’s a busier than average day. But you’re turning into a needless drama.

All you have to do is:

• lie back on the sofa eating grapes and resting your ankle
• answer the door to various tradespeople - or better still, holler at nearest of a choice of 3 old enough to do it children to get the door
• tell whichever child to shut kittens away
• call Uber for tutored son. He’s 14!
• get 14 or 16yo to take 11yo to party if you can’t get another parent, which you probably can
• help with revision FROM SOFA

Yes, you have a lot of things on the list today, but you can do the whole lot with your arse on a sofa eating cake.

I wouldn’t expect my husband to stay home for that. (though he would offer)

As for the running around after cars... that’s a totally separate issue and only you know if it’s fair. I’d just advise you not to do it in heels in future!

Enjoy the sofa day, and hope your ankle settles!

So the ride is actually tomorrow? Why is he leaving early today then?

I smell a martyr burning! The tyre thing is bloody ridiculous, why on earth didn't you park where you did, ring the garage and ask them to send someone to unload the tyres?

You live in a city with a massive amount of public transport and spend hours ferrying your kids hither and thither when there's no need. I bet everything organised for today was arranged after the cycle ride was booked.

Why on Earth did you end up doing all his hobby admin? My dh has to fit a hobby in with being here for his family, and I can’t imagine a universe where I run around doing things for his hobby. From now on just say no, I’m sick to death of cars and bikes and I’m certainly not going to run around town doing things for them.
What do the other wives think? Are heir husbands as bad? When is your week away? You could book in a weekend away for the wives , plan it this weekend...