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Original poster

Do you buy your kids presents just because?

208 replies

MonstranceClock · 09/05/2019 14:22

I was out shopping with some friends this morning and picked up a toy and some books from my daughter. I got loads of questions about why I'm buying her presents when her birthday isn't till August, why would I spoil her like that, wish they had money to waste blah blah blah.
Is it really unusual? My parents used bring me back things that they had seen if they knew I would like it. I didn't see any harm in it but they really pissed me off!

OP posts:
puppymouse · 09/05/2019 22:53

Yes. She never asks for anything and it's a nightmare at Christmas and birthday. This week DH bought her a little TY flamingo purse for £6 which we'd bought a friend of hers and she loved and I bought her a pair of Frozen trainers (£10 off eBay brand new!)

She kept gasping and saying "where do you find all these amazing things?! Thank you!"

She's 5. It was quite cute.

CharityConundrum · 10/05/2019 00:08

My problem is having to find something for my other child too so they both get a pressie. It gets expensive.

Is that because you find yourself spotting 'just because' things for one over the other? Or just to keep things fair?

My kids are home educated, so if there is a subject they are interested in then I see books as an educational provision. I buy them the odd thing, but also spend time researching books and ordering them in for the library etc so that they get to read a wide variety without filling our house! I also spend a bit on memberships to places they enjoy like our local Maize Maze, science centre and an adventure/soft play place that they love which is a treat that they really appreciate without creating clutter which is always a bonus!

BertrandRussell · 10/05/2019 08:55

“My problem is having to find something for my other child too so they both get a pressie. It gets expensive.”
I still do this and mine are 18 and 23! It’s tricky, because dd is always up for some earrings or nail polish or something like that- it’s harder for ds!

motherheroic · 10/05/2019 11:12

Used to get treats all the time from my mom until my brother came along and suddenly it was 'one can't have without the other' so I'd get nothing because there was no spare money.

scaryteacher · 10/05/2019 11:17

Went to Stockholm recently and came back with 4 T shirts and some other bots for ds (23). I still buy him things 'because'. He had been cat sitting for me whilst we were away though (even though he lives at home, whilst job hunting).

outvoid · 10/05/2019 11:18

Yes, I do it but I don’t think I should do because they rarely appreciate things. I don’t buy anything crazy but they sometimes will come home from school to find a new book, new clothes, stationary etc that they weren’t expecting.

Ivegotthree · 10/05/2019 11:29

Yes I do. I buy books all the time as I think they're good for them.

Clothes if they need them.

Motherofasleepthief · 10/05/2019 20:59

I buy my daughter things all the time, If there are clothes she needs etc I will buy them (normally only from the supermarket nothing extravagant) or an outfit I see that would suit her or for an event (like wedding or christening)

I buy quite a lot of books as reading is something we both love and I want to actively encourage that, Toys wise it really depends on what it is/how much it is and if we have bought a lot of little treats recently
For example last week I bought her two wooden jigsaws from our local oxfam, they cost me £2.40 and she loves them
The next day she saw a talking soft toy in Tesco, She asked for it (and it was on sale so around £5) but I said no as it is her birthday next month and she will likely get lots of toys (we have VERY generous GP’s on the scene who love to buy things) within 5 minutes it was forgotten and she was just as happy to pick out a box of cereal instead
I think everything is just a balance and if you can afford it you should do what makes you happy, I don’t drink, smoke or go out regularly but I do like to treat my daughter as much as I would myself or my DH (and I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with that)

KennDodd · 10/05/2019 21:02

No. And yet despite this they still have rooms full of crap.

irregularegular · 11/05/2019 09:34

Do people not use libraries for their children anymore? We used to go every week. At secondary school they mostly used the school library.

SoyDora · 11/05/2019 09:36

We used to use the library, then it closed due to funding cuts.

EssentialHummus · 11/05/2019 09:37

irregular we try to - we're members, we visit weekly for rhyme time - but the selection at ours is really poor. Can't speak for others but I imagine this isn't unusual.

SoyDora · 11/05/2019 09:38

Yes, even when we had a library it’s selection was poor. DD1 reads a lot and she’d pretty much read all the ones in her range within a few weeks.

BertrandRussell · 11/05/2019 10:44

My dd used to call the charity shops “liebries”...

proudestofmums · 11/05/2019 11:20

I did but because I wanted to, not because DS asked iyswim. Though he was never one to keep,asking for things - and knew he wouldn’t get them! The only exception we always made was that we would buy him books whenever he asked to encourage a love of reading. We were lucky that we could afford to, of course.

ANewDawn10 · 11/05/2019 11:25

Yes both dh and I do. The best part about it is theres no pressure and faffing around birthdays and Christmas. My ds gets stuff all year round so come special events, any little things will do.

DonnaDarko · 11/05/2019 11:32

I get DS stuff pretty often, especially books as he really loves reading with us!

But I'll also buy toys every now and then, especially as he is developing so fast, he needs more of a challenge! He seems to love pushing a toy pram around at nursery so I was thinking of getting a cheap one for home.

I try not to spoil him but I do want him to be interested and engaged with toys at home, particularly for days like this when it's raining and we can't go anywhere!

CharityConundrum · 11/05/2019 16:50

@EssentialHummus and @SoyDora - do your libraries not allow you to order in books from other branches? Mine does, so even though we've read quite a lot of their stock, we have another 20 or so libraries to choose from and normally only have to wait a week tops.

EssentialHummus · 11/05/2019 16:56

charity in short, no. Mine is a resurrected volunteer-run thing that isn’t part of a larger network.

Tunnocks34 · 11/05/2019 17:00

I doubt mine go a week without getting bought something, this is usually something small like a toy car, or a kinder egg but today my son got a pair of new trainers - he did save up half, and we put half towards as they were £55 though.

SoyDora · 11/05/2019 17:01

Yes we can order from one other library, which is equally poor Grin

SoyDora · 11/05/2019 17:01

(Well we could, before it closed down)

CharityConundrum · 12/05/2019 21:39

That's such a shame - my kids love the whole experience of going to the library and choosing books as well as picking up the ones we've ordered to complete a set (SO glad I didn't have to buy 948 Sea Quest books!) and it's really sad that some areas just don't have something that seems so fundamental to me. I don't even mind paying fines as I know it goes towards the running of the library!

EssentialHummus · 13/05/2019 06:36

Charity mine will have the tangential experience, of choosing good books to donate to the library Grin. I mean, it's not funny, but that's where we are unfortunately.

AJPTaylor · 13/05/2019 06:42

Youngest one definatly. Big age gap and we have more cash. E.g. This week I am getting her a new trampoline. I would have got it for her birthday but it's not until november. I also help out the adult daughters with the odd treat or pay the odd unexpected bill so they share in our better family finances.
When big ones were little they mainly got stuff at Xmas and birthdays cos that was what I had!

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