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Original poster

Do you buy your kids presents just because?

208 replies

MonstranceClock · 09/05/2019 14:22

I was out shopping with some friends this morning and picked up a toy and some books from my daughter. I got loads of questions about why I'm buying her presents when her birthday isn't till August, why would I spoil her like that, wish they had money to waste blah blah blah.
Is it really unusual? My parents used bring me back things that they had seen if they knew I would like it. I didn't see any harm in it but they really pissed me off!

OP posts:
Allyg1185 · 09/05/2019 15:04

Yes I do sometimes. Just small things like a magazine, small toy, stickers etc he doesn't get regular pocket money from me and my husband so not like he's getting things/money from all directions

CarolDanvers · 09/05/2019 15:04

Yes. I bought ds a PS4 game yesterday that he’s wanted for ages. It’s an 18, which he almost is and will be beside himself that I have let him have it early. He has additional needs and follows rules to the letter as they make him feel safe. I’ll have to persuade him it’s ok to play it if his middle aged Mum says so, even if he’s not quite 18 yet Smile.

I probably get them an unexpected treat about once a month and they’re always so happy and grateful. They get pocket money and sometimes I will loan them ahead if they see something they really want and time is of the essence to get it. They keep track of the length of time it will take to pay me back and never ask before. They’re lovely my kids Smile

Gigglinghysterically · 09/05/2019 15:05

@Drogosnextwife

"Only if they ask for it." 😂
My DN gets whatever he asks for so if he wants 3 toys when doing the weekly shopping then that's what he gets. Presents for seeing a doctor, presents for just anything. He's not spoilt apparently. Wink

I don't know if it's due to not coming from a wealthy background and now his parents have money they over-compensate but his behaviour cries out to me that it isn't doing his attitude any good.

Personally, I think presents for birthdays, Easter, Christmas and perhaps something to help entertain children in the school holidays is quite sufficient.

cowcowsalsa · 09/05/2019 15:07

Yes I do. I buy loads of stuff for my kids which I know they will love.

InglouriousBasterd · 09/05/2019 15:07

Books - all the time, usually secondhand, she reads so much.
Not really toys as she’s getting older and isn’t as interested. But clothes and her favourite magazine every so often! Sometimes a bath bomb.

MissingInActionYouSay · 09/05/2019 15:07

My youngest is 10 and my nephews 3 and 7. If I know we are going to be together for an evening them I often pick up a few bits for them....bubbles, a new game maybe, top trumps etc. Not every time, but if I am out and see something suitable. last week it was these revolting stretchy sticky poo toys.....looked revolting, felt revolting but the kids had 4 hours of absolute hilarity and full on belly laughter throwing them at the walls/windows/ceilings and watching them slowly become unstuck. Best £3 I have ever spent!

For my own 3 (10, 14, 19) if I see something then yes, I will get it. For my eldest its normally nerdy gamer stuff that I have seen in Home Bargains, art supplies for my middle one and anything sparkly/unicorns/stationery for my daughter. Plus I will pick up character Tshirts etc, not because they need them, but because they like them. I am also an absolute sucker for buying books they will like from charity shops/The works.

MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 09/05/2019 15:08

I think little treats through out the year are preferable to a huge pile at Christmas or Birthday, especially for kids enjoyment. I would hold back on a big gift perhaps but general useful, educational stuff would be a huge yes from me. Especially if your children don’t seem to expect constant gifts.

AuntieMarys · 09/05/2019 15:09

I do now they are adults!!!

Bringbackthestripes · 09/05/2019 15:11

I always used to buy ‘just because’ but now DC is an ungrateful teen I don’t bother very much.

englishdictionary · 09/05/2019 15:12

You didn't buy a present though. You just bought things. It's normal to me.

megletthesecond · 09/05/2019 15:17

Always books Blush.

Anything else has to come out of their own money.

SoundofSilence · 09/05/2019 15:21

I do. They aren't big things and if it's a toy I'll usually time the giving so that it's a reward for an achievement or good behaviour, or consolation for something that's upset them. I like picking things up if I see something I think they will like and DS2's birthday is very close to Christmas so he has a long wait otherwise. He doesn't ask for much and is often more delighted with a little 'just because' toy I picked up than a bigger gift at birthday or Christmas.

bumble270 · 09/05/2019 15:21

I do it for DD, but her birthday is right by Xmas, so we spend less over winter, then we can get gifts through the year like garden toys

sam221 · 09/05/2019 15:23

Perfectly normal to buy stuff that you know will make your kids happy. I still buy random stuff when out or online, that again I know people will enjoy.
Last week I ordered my sister a screen cover for her new phone-I know she will just not get around to it-she was delighted to receive it.

ArchieHarrison · 09/05/2019 15:24

no restriction on books or (halfway decent) magazines, or craft materials. V rarely toys though.

DontVisitMe · 09/05/2019 15:24

Yes I do, and they aren't spoilt in the slightest. I also don't see books and stationery as "gifts" that need to be saved for birthdays and Christmas. Books are bought regularly.

DH and I also buy little things for each other if we see something the other person would like. Genuinely thought that was normal. I usually get flowers fortnightly, chocolates once a week, a nice book, a plant or a new mascara etc. Nothing expensive, just things he knows I like.

NCforthis2019 · 09/05/2019 15:26

Yeah I do this. We can afford it so count ourselves lucky, mind you makes gift giving harder as I buy them stuff throughout the year. No - my kids aren’t spoilt. Whatever we don’t use anymore we donate to womensaid and this year my daughter and me will be making hampers to give to the homeless. It’s all about balance.

MariaNovella · 09/05/2019 15:26

When DD was younger yes, absolutely! Books, DVDs, art stuff, clothes. Now she’s older less so though I do pick up most of her clothes.

GiveMeFood12 · 09/05/2019 15:27

I do ... less so over winter as her birthday is right near Christmas

Yesterday I walked past Smiggle and got her a new water bottle (that she needed) and a key ring that she had seen the week before. I then got a free gift so chose the pencil case she had her eye on the week before .... gave them to her when I finished work.
Granted, it's not a weekly thing - but a little treat probs once a month maybe

Books I don't count as presents as they're helping her reading and I think it's an important skill to encourage Smile

mmgirish · 09/05/2019 15:28

We don't buy very much for the kids outside of birthdays and Christmas but I don't judge others who do.

Most of our disposable cash is spent on holidays though and my kids love it. (We live in SE Asia so going to amazing places is easy) I think my in-laws feel that we go away a lot but I don't really care what they think plus we live in different countries!

What people spend their money on should be their own business.

horizontalis · 09/05/2019 15:32

I bought dd a toy llama the other day just because I liked it

She's 20 Grin

krustykittens · 09/05/2019 15:36

I don't see the harm in buying the odd treat for kids as long as they appreciate it. One of my DDs really loves the Asterix books and is over the moon if she gets treated to one. The day she isn't grateful is the day I stop! Her older sister is getting very hard to buy for as she has everything she needs and rarely expresses a desire for something. Now that she has her own job, she can buy small treats for herself, like books or a new top. However, she tries to treat her sister a little more often that I would and THAT is proving hard to put a stop to! I love that she loves her so much but I don't want her spoiled.

Moominfan · 09/05/2019 15:39

I think it's rude of them to comment on what you spend your money on. I don't see books as gifts but necessities.

Lweji · 09/05/2019 15:41

I've always bought DS some stuff mid year because his birthday is shortly after Christmas. Particularly if not too expensive and I know he really liked it or wanted it.

spanishwife · 09/05/2019 15:44

Yes, and I do the same for my sister, husband, friends etc. Usually just little things here or there, or something nice like flowers on the way to see them. It's just part of my love language.

With my kids it's usually very small things, as we have a lot of relatives who want to buy them things for Christmas, birthdays and the millions of Spanish holidays, so I tend to add a note and save things up for that! But little cheapo toys, cute clothes, sweeties or chocolate I'll buy just when I feel like it.

I don't usually do this if I am with them however, as I don't want them to start seeing errands/shopping as an opportunity to get stuff!