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Original poster

Do you buy your kids presents just because?

208 replies

MonstranceClock · 09/05/2019 14:22

I was out shopping with some friends this morning and picked up a toy and some books from my daughter. I got loads of questions about why I'm buying her presents when her birthday isn't till August, why would I spoil her like that, wish they had money to waste blah blah blah.
Is it really unusual? My parents used bring me back things that they had seen if they knew I would like it. I didn't see any harm in it but they really pissed me off!

OP posts:
Youngandfree · 09/05/2019 18:23

Not often,but sometimes yes. They always ask when we’re in the shop and 95% of the time I say no. But I only say yes to small things to be honest. Although I would never say no to a book as I see that as a beneficial in many ways.

Floralnomad · 09/05/2019 18:25

We always bought random gifts for ours when they were children and still do so now they are adults - we can afford it and neither of them are spoilt . Likewise my adult ds will often just buy me flowers / chocolates and does the same for my dsis whom he lives with most of the week .

FudgeBrownie2019 · 09/05/2019 18:25

For me books aren't presents the way that toys are, they're things we buy often because they love to read and I want to always encourage that. I buy myself books often so it wouldn't make sense to refuse to buy them for the DC.

Toys and games are usually for Birthdays and Christmas, but every now and then if we're out somewhere new or special they can choose something they want. They're not spoiled or the type who'll beg and cajole for treats, and they take care of their stuff. They both get pocket money and save up for things like xbox games or vbucks.

Bikes aren't usually birthday gifts, though, they're something we just replace when needed.

jellyfish70 · 09/05/2019 18:28

Yes I do if I see something they need or would really like. Mine are teens now and are by no means spoilt. I'm talking small things and I don't call them presents or wrap them.

DulcieRay · 09/05/2019 18:28

Yes but I don't buy them something just for the sake of it. So just because I find a book DC1 would like doesn't mean DCs 2 and 3 also need something. They are at different stages and need different things.

jellyfish70 · 09/05/2019 18:29

Definitely not every week, not even every month, just as and when.

jellyfish70 · 09/05/2019 18:30

Agree with Dulcie that I never do tit for tat buying.If I see something relevant to child A I don't think child B needs to have something.

StepMummyLife · 09/05/2019 18:32

I often buy my stepchildren things I see that I think they will like, also my nieces and nephews, partner and just friends/family in general. If you have the disposable income to it and they remain grateful I don't see the problem.

Theonewiththecat · 09/05/2019 18:33

Yeah I do.
I've always done it, my mum buys her things, when my nana was alive she used to buy her things.
Small things like Lego mini figures, card games, book, anything with a unicorn or cactus on, occasionally a switch game or a ds game.
If me and DH ever go out for the day without her or we go away for a weekend without her we somehow end up in build a bear and he buys her a new bear, and an outfit.
I love buying her things, shes the person I love most in all the world.

Overoptimistix · 09/05/2019 18:33

I don't really buy my kids birthday and Christmas presents (apart from the stocking stuff). They get plenty from relatives at those times and I can then buy them stuff at other points in the year when they need it more (e.g. they have winter birthdays but wanted a scooter in the summer.

Oohgossip · 09/05/2019 18:33

I buy mine stuff just because too, I’m lucky enough to be able to and I recognise that.

DulcieRay · 09/05/2019 18:36

Surely everybody does it at least with food though? Like when you walk round the supermarket and think "child A likes satsumas so I'll grab some of them, and child B likes coco pops so I'll get a box of them," etc.

Hiddenaspie1973 · 09/05/2019 18:36

Not really. It's not about the money. More about not cluttering up the place with unnecessary stuff. I'm the same with myself!
If there's something she wants/needs then fine.
But 90% of stuff available is not necessary.

frazzledasarock · 09/05/2019 18:38

Yes I do. They pretty much never ask for anything as we went thro a pretty tough few years when they were tiny and I spent all my money keeping a roof over our heads etc.

So now when I ever see things I know they’d like I get it for them, they’re always incredibly greatful and so happy no matter how small or cheap the thing I buy them is.

I feel incredibly thankful I can afford to treat them.

sweetkitty · 09/05/2019 18:39

Yes I do usually little things I think oh they would love that. DH says I over compensate for my own poor neglected childhood but I don’t care.

Morgan12 · 09/05/2019 18:48

Yep all the time. I've actually been thinking I need to stop. My DS literally gets everything he asks for.

Original poster
MonstranceClock · 09/05/2019 18:55

Well she was ecstatic with her gift. I'm glad i bought it!

OP posts:
NotSmellbowButSmellToe · 09/05/2019 18:56

Yes sometimes. Also sometimes big stuff too. For example if they need a new bike or scooter we don't wait until a birthday, particularly if summer is coming up. We have also just bought a trampoline just because having talked about it for several years!! Feel fortunate to afford it.

But it is taken into account on the next birthday and we don't always do expensive/ big presents for birthdays/ Christmas. Sometimes a small toy is what is requested and what is given!

Plus DC don't have much in the way of family so they don't get loads of presents from elsewhere Sad

lovemeorleaveme · 09/05/2019 18:56

Never. Only birthday's and Xmas. Oh and maybe a little holiday souvenir.

GetUpAgain · 09/05/2019 19:01

I used to buy stuff just because. Now we have SO MUCH STUFF, I rarely buy possessions any more. I decide whether I want to see it lying around waiting to be put away. That normally works! But I take photos of bits of art or views I pass that I think DC will like, and send them links to news stories/websites. It's the thought that counts.

ReadyForActionRyderSir · 09/05/2019 19:03

I pick things up for them I think they may like but will keep it for rewards eg when they go up a reading level, go up a swimming stage. Also had loads of baby toys and books and I had to resist picking stuff for my one year old. With the older two though I get them less as the stuff they want is more expensive or we do more stuff with them, eg cinema rather than getting toys

bookmum08 · 09/05/2019 19:09

There are things I buy (for child, for husband, for me) all the time that some people might call 'presents' - books, craft things, Airfix models, Lego bits, comics, etc. To me they are just 'life things'. If I only bought craft things twice a year (birthday + xmas) then we would be very bored for about 11 months of the year.

Aimily · 09/05/2019 19:16

My parents still do it for me at 28 😳 so do my oh's parents. I'll probably do the same when my mini fidget gets older...
I think it's completely fine if you see something they would like, treats aren't spoiling your child.

tor8181 · 09/05/2019 19:22

i do, my kids get what they want tbh

unless its in the hundreds or console games not suitable for their age they dont get told no much

they get the highest rate of dla each and a lot of extra tax credits because of it so technically its their money so should be spent on them

we are on holiday every 4-6 weeks as they love going away(caravan sites)

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 09/05/2019 19:24

Yes ..I always do...every week...