Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

To be the tiniest bit peeved about DD going to prom?

173 replies

Lifeandbeans · 09/05/2019 09:31

I know I am really but...

Dd has Sen and is not the best person socially. Big parties are her idea of hell and she doesn't mix much with others.
I did however offer her the chance of going to prom as it's a special time and she was absolutely set against it. Especially as it lands on an evening when she would be at an activity which she loves and won't miss for anything.

We arranged to use the money to do something nice with her instead and my Mum has booked her something.

I've been asking her for the last year and still been getting no. As the date started drawing closer I even said that due to the costs involved and the fact I'm a single Mum that if she was still saying no she couldn't just spring on me that she wanted to go last minute.
Still absolutely set on not going.
She hasn't even ordered the leavers hoodie as she just wanted to leave.

Yesterday she was having a chat with her (amazing ) support teacher about prom. She made it clear she wasn't going and the teacher has persuaded her to go!
So basically I've now got three weeks and one pay day now to try and book appointments for hair and nails and make up when most places are booked up already and find a dress and shoes and everything she needs plus the cost of the ticket etc for to sit uncomfortably for the evening because she won't dance or anything like that. She will most likely sit with her teacher.

I love the teacher but I'm a bit peeved if I'm honest that DD has been saying no for 12 months. That she was told to decide when the info came out and that she couldn't go back on it a couple of weeks before but that is exactly what has happened.
And I don't want to tell her no because all I'm going to have for the rest of my life is that I wouldn't let her go to prom!

OP posts:

IncrediblySadToo · 11/05/2019 11:49

That’s a great outcome.

I hope she does enjoy it. However, even if she doesn’t, you were still the supportive Mum who helped her to go when she changed her mind 🌷

...and 🌷🌷🌷 for everyone offering suggestions and dresses. MN at its best.

Sizeofalentil · 11/05/2019 11:50

Try everything5pounds.com for dress, bag and shoes. They often have prom dresses in

PigWhisperer · 11/05/2019 12:10

Well done Crappy!

Im so pleased she can go with her friend. Perhaps friend could help with a bit of light make-up before? Would your DD let her do that?

What a great thread!

SoupDragon · 11/05/2019 12:31

How wonderful 🙂

Abbazed · 15/05/2019 00:10

Fingers crossed xx

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 15/05/2019 01:34

Just to say I have a black Frank Usher prom dress with little sparkles and a gorgeous back size 10, if the other didn’t fit etc!

sheettent · 15/05/2019 02:10

Mumsnet at its absolute best!

mathanxiety · 15/05/2019 02:37

Huzzah for Mumsnet!

You can easily do a bit of foundation/BB cream and blush, plus eyeshadow/eyeliner and neaten her eyebrows with clear mascara.

Look up youtube videos on simple basic makeup.

Don't forget to buy some miscellar water for makeup removal, or you can use little microfibre pads.

Punxsutawney · 15/05/2019 06:19

Glad there is a great outcome to this thread. Not really relevant but it sounds like your DD has had a great support network at school. The senco at my Ds's school has very little to do with him or us for that matter! I would love it if a member of staff cared enough to encourage my Ds to attend an event. Having a child with sen means they often miss out, it's great that she is going, hope she has a lovely time.

IAmNotPatientOrPregnant · 15/05/2019 06:27

You have to compromise somewhere OP.
You said she cant just jump on you a couple weeks before, you're a single parent.

I'd let her go to prom, if she doesnt own a nice dress, then give her a budget and stick to it, shoes and accessories included.

Get on YouTube the pair of you and start learning how to put some make up on.

I've never understood paying for makeup.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 15/05/2019 06:58

Gawd - sure teacher had good intentions

Try DD one last time . And if she really wants to go .....

Home Made beauty treatments
Hire a dress or trawl local Facebook page ? What size is she ?

SoupDragon · 15/05/2019 07:02

Maybe read the whole thread, or just the updates,...?

funnylittlefloozie · 15/05/2019 07:08

Hooray for the power of Mumsnet! I think its lovely that your DD has had the opportunity to go, although personally i would be bloody peeved if my DD had changed her mind at this point and started demanding dresses and prom tickets.... but then i am a ratbag!

Hope she has a lovely time!

Yinderling · 15/05/2019 07:20

what a lovely thread. I agree with mascara and lippy. I didn't wear make up til I was about 35 and when I do it's just that and peopke always make a nice comment as it looks so different!

Bouledeneige · 15/05/2019 07:40

I would let her go. But not spend so much on hair, makeup and nails etc and buy a cheap dress. My DD's cost only £20 off the internet and she did all the rest at home.

Its not worth shelling out all that money and there is a possibility she will back out on the night.

specterlitt · 15/05/2019 07:41

@Lifeandbeans If you're based in London, I'm a MUA/hairstylist, I only qualified as a hobby and do friends and family for events, I'd be more than happy to give your daughter a makeover? (I have an entire room in my home that's simply for hair and beauty so you can imagine my level of dedication ) I also do get sent lots of press products so if she is keen on makeup I'd be happy to make her a little pack of goodies to keep.

You would never guess that's a talent I have considering what my actual career is.

OldBean2 · 15/05/2019 07:46

AnyoneButAnton · 15/05/2019 07:47

I spent all of DD’s prom night sick with worry that she’d have a terrible time or a meltdown and I’d have to collect her in floods of tears. In the end she had a fantastic time in her extremely glamorous charity shop dress (I gave her a decent budget, but she spent 95% of it on shoes).

Hope your DD has a lovely time, but don’t spend too much - more money will not necessarily produce a better result and you’ll be gutted if you spend more than you can afford and she does change her mind at the last moment.

GinUnicorn · 15/05/2019 07:51

OP don’t know about primarily but boots do great stick on nails with glue. Last around 5 days.

Makeup simple eye liner mascara and lipstick will be plenty if she doesn’t wear it.

Lovely about the dress! Crappy is the opposite of crap.

Original poster

Lifeandbeans · 15/05/2019 08:16

'. Not really relevant but it sounds like your DD has had a great support network at school. The senco at my Ds's school has very little to do with him or us for that matter! I would love it if a member of staff cared enough to encourage my Ds to attend an event.'

Pun :( this has been our experience before also. She moved to a very small state school at the start of year 9 and although it hasn't been an easy ride AT ALL , because of the size of the school the Senco physically has time to spend with her and it's been a huge difference.
There aren't many children with severe needs in school so that middle group of Sen children who can often get missed out in secondary and left to tread water aren't. It's tough though.

specterlitt thank you so much. We are up North sadly but YouTube is being watched a lot at the moment .

AnyoneButAnton that's reassuring thank you!

SnowyAlpsandPeaks thank you so much for a lovely offer.

Everyone else offering tips and help thank you, I am reading and taking it in.
I'm cursing my tomboy childhood at the moment

OP posts:

specterlitt · 15/05/2019 08:51

@Lifeandbeans That is a shame! Is she into makeup at all? I could send you some bits to use on her if it helps? Any preference in colours etc? Like I said, it's not a hassle for me as companies do send me PR.

Nonetheless, I hope she has a lovely time!

Annunaki · 15/05/2019 09:30

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

HintOfRaspberry · 15/05/2019 09:42

I have a prom dress I'd be happy to send to you OP. I can send a picture to see if she likes the style.

I wore it for my own prom and haven't a hope in hell's chance of ever using it again but it's like new. It would be nice to know someone else made use of it.

You can buy lovely false nails in Primark, Superdrug etc now, far better than spending a fortune to have them done.

For hair/ makeup your best bet might be to see if there are any local beauty students nearby who could help. They're usually keen to get some experience for a portfolio and far cheaper than a salon who will bump prices up around prom time.

I know where posters are coming from regarding sticking to your guns, but I think this is the time to let that slide if you can. I hope she has a lovely time

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7