My sister recently took in her very emotionally damaged stepson. He is 6, and his Dad (my sister's ds) was not 'allowed' to see him for 5 years. Apparently the mother just didn't turn up at court and there was nothing he could do, (which sounds dubious to me, but there you go). Social Services got in touch with them 4 months ago to say his mother wanted him put into care because she has never bonded with him. So they took him in and at first he made wonderful progress. He's had a horrible life, was made to wet the bed rather than dare get out of it without permission, didn't know what a Christmas cracker was, had never been to the beach, suffered physical abuse, had his stepfather's mother scream at him that she hated him and wished he'd never been born, etc. At first he responded to the happy home my sister showed him, but recently he has regressed again, started wetting the bed again, crying when he has a bath, refusing to eat. All of which I am sure is very wearing, but to want him put into care? I just don't get it. To have shown him what a normal life is like and then to take it away from him is worse than his mother giving him away in the first place.
My sister insists that he would get proper psychological help in care, and that they aren't entitled to it while he is with his real father, so it's actually holding the kid back.
Surely the child is regressing again to test them out - will they give me away too? kind of thing. And they are failing him. To me, my sister married her husband as a father, and his son is their responsibility. She says he hasn't bonded with him (beginning to hate that phrase) and she has to think of the time it takes away from her two daughters (the youngest is her dh's) and their marriage. But at the expense of a defenceless child's happiness?