Toddler screaming for help WWYD

[freetone]

Posting here for traffic. Just had the most heart wrenching experience of watching a small toddler screaming on the floor in the rain while her mother walked off. I stopped and watched from a distance to make sure the child was okay. The poor thing then proceeded to scream in my direction saying ‘help me please’. It was so hard not to go and pick the poor girl up. WWYD? My DD would not call out to strangers for help no matter what kind of tantrum was throwing. I’m worried for the child’s safety now! She was just screaming at her mum to pick her up and she was ignoring her. That’s all she wanted, it broke my heart

This is the worrying thing though. Yes she was probably just being a dramatic toddler and mum was quite rightly not giving into the tantrum. But what happens when someone does abduct a child and they are desperately screaming for help and everyone just ignores them assuming it's just another tantrum with mum?

@MustBeAWeasly if the child was being abducted, why would the abductor be walking away from them?

‘I never said a child psychologist, I have child psychology qualifications. Maybe more children who are being abused would be saved if less people turned a blind eye to ‘normal’ behaviour’

OP - did you know that since 2010 s47 investigations have doubled, we have the highest rates of children in care since 1994 and guess what? We have seen no reduction in child deaths and SCRs - How’s all that intervention working out?

if the child was being abducted, why would the abductor be walking away from them?

Highly intelligent children learn to be this manipulative really early on.
Luckily for me, neither of mine were this bad but a friend's child was!

You don't KNOW what was happening, so the mother may have been doing exactly the right thing to deal with her child for all you know, and for all your qualifications.

my heavy 4 year old wants to be picked up all the time. sometimes I do but sometimes I'm way too tired to do so and then she will sit on the ground screaming because she's dramatic..I tend to ignore and walk away rather than give in.
She tantrums about everything in life. she has done this before where I've given in and picked her up only to be told by her literally 10 seconds later that she's not tired anymore and wants to walk.
She knows exactly what she's doing

Well you thought the child was being abused and you stood by and left it to happen without helping in any way so are you proud of yourself op? Or is this story a little bit elaborated? Because I know for sure that if I was certain that the child was being mistreated ( as you seem to be since you are disagreeing with everyone) I would at least ask the parent what was going on.

In this case I would do absolutely nothing except give the mum a sympathetic look perhaps. At age 2 DS would sit in a pushchair for all of 5 mins before wrestling his way out of it. He would then walk all of 10 mins before asking for a carry. I'm petite and he's pretty big and I could not carry him everywhere, no way. I put my foot down. I even had to ask OH to stop carrying him when we were out as a family because DS expected the same from me when we were out together.

The child was trantrumming because they weren't get their own way and getting a carry. Move on

Sounds perfectly normal. My daughter once had a meltdown in Marks and Spencers and flung herself on the floor, the only thing that would work was to walk away from her. After a minute or so she would getup and run after me. To be fair she was ill and on steroids that gave her a temper like I've never seen,but I'm sure I was judged as a terrible parent.

My friends grandson also used to shout 'help they're hurting me in here!' from the windows, they were doing nothing of the sort apart from not allowing him any more sweets :D

Op you clearly dont have children or any experience of them.

According to another thread she has 2 under 5 so you'd think she'd know better 😉

Bhahaaaa was it me? 👀

Toddlers are emotionally stunted yet devious little gits that very quickly learn what buttons to push, mine likes to scream ‘ow, no stop you’re hurting me’ whenever I try to put her in the buggy, car seat etc. She also likes to pretend she doesn’t know who I am in public places, christ she sometimes just starts tantrumming throwing herself here there and everywhere screaming blue murder simply cause I looked at her 😅

I am clearly an abusive monster lol, toddlers are arseholes sounds like mum was just dealing with it the best she could or doing what works for them.

As someone who works with under 5s it's the ultra compliant, quiet children who worry me more than a child who screams and shouts. Children that age should be having tantrums and pushing boundaries, it's how they learn about the social world. They usually do it where they feel most comfortable eg with their parents.
^this

WWID? I’d smile sympathetically at the Mum and maybe cheerily tell the child that they were a big girl so surely they could walk themselves.

Honestly op you’re absolutely ridiculous- if you did in fact see something abusive then you need to describe that - then you’d get appropriate advice. What you’ve described is perfectly normal parenting and toddler tantrum

On the other hand - i’m loving everyone’s stories of their over-dramatic children. I particularly like the story of the child stopping mid tantrum to politely answer the lady who asked them if they were ok before resuming their tantrum!

Mind your business. Sometimes the best way to get round a tantruming toddler is to ignore. I doubt the mother would have walked off completely and abandoned the child. Parents know best how to deal with their child, not strangers.

This was actually me yesterday.

Not literally though.

Wrangling dd into the car seat. Like trying to bend a ruler.

#nexttimei'llworklate

I can carry my tall 2 year old for short periods. She loves it. But we have a perfectly good buggy and she has perfectly good legs. She has taken to prostrating herself when I refuse to carry her! That's what some toddlers do!

I also recall carrying my son home screaming his head off at a similar age because I wouldn't buy him sweets. He, like his younger sister, was not afraid to have a good tantrum

OP if you were that concerned why didn't you do something at the time? How odd that you have witnessed nearly the same situation twice, was it the same child? And how odd that you have disappeared.

When DS1 was 3yo he ran away from DH in a shop. DH went straight after him and started extracting him from inside the clothes rail he'd hidden in. A security guard noticed and asked if everything was okay, DH said yes everything was fine and DS was just being a bit of a pickle. DS looked at the security guard and with a totally deadpan face said "I don't know who this man is, I want my mummy". DH, mortified, showed the security guard photos of DS on his phone, DS agreed that yes this was his daddy. Two seconds later he ran off again so DH picked him up and carried him out of the shop while DS screamed "help, help, I want my mummy, who are you? I don't know you! Where's my mummy!?"

Conclusion: toddlers are tricksy little arseholes who know exactly which emotional switches to flip when they're trying to get their own way.

Anyone have a link to the other threads ?

My DB was a little shite at that age.
In Asda once he refused to get off the floor so my Mum left him there - he was screaming "she's not my Mum" at the top of his voice. Fortunately no-one took any notice. He eventually got up of his own accord.
I was 6 and mortified. I can remember it clear as day (am now 41).

I think if you listened to everything my 3 year old says he’d be in care!

This weekend he screamed ‘stop daddy you’re breaking my arm!’ (His dad had taken his toy sword from him), threw himself on floor in the middle of the pavement and screamed because I wouldn’t carry him and bellowed at the top of his lungs that I was the worst mummy in the whole world and I wasn’t his real mummy anyway. (Because I wouldn’t let him have a second ice cream. I am his real mummy anyway)

Toddlers are tiny angry balls of emotional manipulation. Sounds to me like you just caught the tale end of a tantrum, and a mum trying to stand her ground

My eldest was being naughty one day while him and DH were shopping for something so DH started to walk towards the car he started to throw a tantrum and yelling ‘help me, this isn’t my daddy’ he was 3-4 at the time and was picked up under DH arm and plonked in the car.

My 2 year old ran off in the supermarket when I was shopping with dad. As he was running towards the doors my dad picked him up rugby ball style under his arm. DS screamed the entire length of the aisle

"HELP ME, NO, NO,NO, HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!"

I had never heard him use those words before.

Toddlers can be ass-hats sometimes......

This is the worrying thing though. Yes she was probably just being a dramatic toddler and mum was quite rightly not giving into the tantrum. But what happens when someone does abduct a child and they are desperately screaming for help and everyone just ignores them assuming it's just another tantrum with mum?

Umm...so they didn't ignore it, but how did the OP help exactly?

If I was genuinely concerned a child was being abducted, I would call the police. This would probably involve the complete opposite of the current situation where a child is screaming to be picked up and the adult is walking away.

What you have described sounds like a pretty standard tantrum. It sounds rather dramatic that the child was in a puddle, but it rains a lot and children regularly throw themselves on the floor so it isn’t the most uncommon of occurrences. Whilst the puddle might have caused to me relent in this instance, it would only be viewed as weakness by the child and reinforce the behavior. Regardless, if you have reached the point that you can no longer physically carry a child then there is no choice to even be made.

Stop assuming. You've made a massive scenario in your head about what if/could it be/is it? And haven't got any proof one way or other.