[Being the one in love] is better than being the one who settled. Always feeling there’s something missing and you’re missing out. Avoiding intimacy and feeling isolated. It must be lovely to be married to someone you love and find attractive, even if they don’t feel the same about you. Especially if you don’t know that they settled and you think you’re both in love.
I categorically disagree with the above. It is so much better when your partner is putting the effort in and looking after you. Makes you appreciate him, appreciate what you have got and want to give the same back.
I have been with guys who I was absolutely madly in love with and they weren’t half bothered. It is soul destroying. I can’t start to describe the heart ache, the jealousy, the insecurity. How is that a good base for marriage?
When a man shows you he is invested and prepared to put the work in, it is the best feeling in the world. When he lets you have a lie in, scrubs the floors and cooks your dinner to make your life easier. You can’t but feel the love and care back.
The passionate, but destructive ‘one true love’ relationships I have had, I thank my lucky stars every day I didn’t get married to those men. They would have made my life a misery.
I don’t get the concept of settling. There is ALWAYS someone better for you out there, doesn’t mean you have to drop everything, put your life on hold, waiting to meet them. You may never meet them. Or meet them when it is too late to have children. It is such a high-risk strategy.
Not to say that the dream man may turn out to be an arsehole at closer inspection a few years later down the line. ‘True love’ on your part is no safeguard against that.