Absolutely lost it

[6079SmithW]

More of WWYD ..

I absolutely lost it with the DC this morning.
They have a school trip today and were told last night to choose clothes etc ready.
We all got up early this morning so I ironed the clothes they had chosen, they got breakfast.. so far so good.
They start to get dressed and all hell breaks loose. DD1 (9) catches her t shirt in the zip of her hoodie and puts a small hole in it. I told her to just wear it anyway but she starts screaming and shouting that she can't/won't. Meanwhile DD2 (8) has decided that the t shirt she chose has too wide a neck (it's too loose) and she can't possibly wear it either (despite having worn it on several other occasions).
Nothing in their wardrobe is suitable for either of them apparently (🙄) and I'm completely unreasonable because I won't start ironing other stuff or let them wear un-ironed clothes.
I was very aware that time was ticking and was telling them just choose something we're going to be late/you're going to miss the trip etc. Then from nowhere I just lost it and shouted "I'm going to fucking kill you both". I was horrified. Obviously I apologised to them immediately and assured them I'd never hurt them.
I don't know what to do now. Do I just carry on as though it didn't happen? Should I discuss it with them again and make sure they're ok? Will they be frightened of me now? I'm scared I have damaged our relationship.

I’d never let DS go out in clothes that needed ironing. Despite what MN says, you can tell when people haven’t ironed and it looks scruffy

I’d never let DS go out in clothes that needed ironing. Despite what MN says, you can tell when people haven’t ironed and it looks scruffy

I agree. But we'll be told that we've got sad lives and people have better things to do with their time(it takes 1 minute to iron an outfit).

I don't mind if my dds look scruffy (except they never do despite not ironing anything).

You would let your DCs wear clothes with tears in but not clothes that are creased? How does that make sense??

Some of the responses on here are bit weird to me - the ‘oh I’ve said worse we’re all human’ etc. I work in a school and if I a kid told me their mum had said that I would report it to the child protection team - with absolute justification. One instance of shouting and swearing which a parent apologises for obviously doesn’t mean your a terrible parent but its definitely not ‘normal’ or ok - and think about how it would look to an outsider. For what it’s worth it seems to me you have dealt well with it OP. Like a PP said though it might b worth thinking about why this happened and how to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Don’t worry OP. Of my many wonderful friends who all parent in different ways, I think pretty much every one (including me) has lost their shit and dropped the F bomb at least once. Sometimes the shock makes the kids get a wake up call.

You’re doing great. Go easy on yourself.

Also in answer to the PP who said they’re getting anxiety about small things from you. Not necessarily true. I’m lackadaisical about clothing and so is DH but DD (12) can throw her toys out of the pram over the fact she ‘has nothing to wear’ and that started when she was 8. Certainly not from me and more a common thing in tween girls of that age from my friends daughters antics too.

I get like that (not being able to find stuff to wear) if I'm anxious or worried.

Apologise and move on imo.

Like @Arrowfanatic, I'm right at the bottom of the Cess Pit of parenting. Not only do I swear at my kids but I release my feral children into the outside world in...creased clothes all the time (except for their school uniform).

Seriously OP, do not beat yourself up. Make sure you show them lots of love and affection and really listen to them when they tell you about their day.

Any parent who says they have never lost their temper with their child is a liar. As long as it’s a one off and you explain that sometimes even grown ups can make a mistake, you say sorry and make amends. Teach them that no one is perfect and that it’s how you deal with it that counts. I encourage my children to try not to make the same mistake twice and this is the approach adults should take too. Learn from it and move on!

Meh, I’ve said worse to mine and they’re tiny... yes it feels shit but you’ve apologied I wouldn’t grovel to them, they’re old enough to know better.

I work in a school and if I a kid told me their mum had said that I would report it to the child protection team - with absolute justification

And you'd be laughed out of it. Reporting a mother for a one-off shouty remark???

Thanks again for your comments. I really appreciate the support.
I'm feeling much better about the incident and perhaps I do need to be more relaxed with them/pick my battles.
I was presented with these (pic attached) after dinner so I'd say the girls are feeling a bit sheepish too. Going forward I think we'll all behave better.

@PinguDance FWIW I'm glad that if a child told you this had happened at home you would report it. Children need someone to have their back. If either of my girls had felt genuinely threatened/hurt/upset I hope they would have a caring teacher they could talk to too x

Sorry pic attached now

That's so nice!
No-one's finest moment... but all done now.
I have to add, you told the story so well, it really did make me laugh all through the day. I was all immersed in the mundane details of your morning, the rushing, the ironing, the petty squabbles, the unreasonableness... I was there in the room with you. Then BOOM. Your spectacular outburst!!! It was as unexpected for your readers as it was for you. Are you a writer IRL?

I've screamed absolute murder at my two, then burst into tears at the horror of what I did. Twice, at different stages of our life.

And a wonderful crunchy mum I know, dropped the see you next tuesday word at hers once.

I grew up in a household where you couldn't even say poo if it wasn't directly in context ie you've just had one. You said 'don't step in the wotsit/woosle' (?) but heaven forbid the words "bum", "poo" etc came out. Yet my dad would swear loudly.

Apologies all round. And a new start the next day.

Lol! If it’s a rare occurrence as you say then your main problem is that even when these two are 32 and 33 they’ll still be saying ‘remember when mum said she’s was going to ‘fucking kill us both’’ and making you feel bad for the laugh.

Welcome to being human. Your kids are well old enough to get a bit of unreasonableness and bad parenting every now and then. Just make sure the love and stability is all there at the base and everyone will survive each other.