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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find this mum's behaviour very strange

216 replies

Galaxy88 · 06/05/2019 11:07

Yesterday, myself, dh and 2dd were out walking in the woods when we heard a really loud cry, we ran over and a boy about the age of 8, had gone over his handle bars and landed face first on the concrete. He had made a good mess of his face and was naturally hysterical.

While DH attended to his wounds (he's first aid trained) I attempted to get some info from him as he was all alone in the woods. I asked for his name, which he gave. His address and if he had a mobile with him.

He didn't have a phone, didn't know the street name or number but knew he lived in the next village- which is a 15 minute bike ride away. Based on this, we had to call an ambulance. While waiting, we started to ask where his mum was, is she close by? He replied no, and that his mum was at work all day and had left him aged 8 and his older sister aged 9 alone in the house and he'd gone out.

Eventually, a woman walked by who recognised the boy (her dd attend the same school) and was able to call the mother's place of work and let her know.

While on the phone, the mother became highly irritated and started shouting when we said we'd called an ambulance. Saying we were wrong to do that and we should cancel asap as it was a huge over reaction. I explained it wasn't, he'd banged his head, was confused and didn't know where he lived or any contact info, let alone the mess to his head, nose and teeth.

(If the mother had been around, or if the child had a phone we probably wouldn't have called one, we couldn't leave him there screaming with blood pouring and a bump to the head)

While waiting, we cold compressed his head and applied pressure. A friend of the mother turned up first picked up the bike put it her car, grabbed the boy and made a comment about him not needing an ambulance. Moments later the mum shows up, but didn't get out of the car, the boy was placed in her car by the friend and they both drove off.

I'm sat here afterwards really confused, we weren't asking for gratitude, it wasn't necessary. But she didn't even come and ask what had happened, his injuries, what we'd done so far, based on his injuries I imagine she'd require a trip to a&e and would probably need all this info to pass over.

Am I being U to think this is just poor parenting? Not only to leave two young children, but to scold the people trying to help your ds.. dh thinks we should pass on her details to SS, as the woman from before mentioned where they lived in passing after she had gone, shall we just let this go?

OP posts:
IsYourGoogleBroken · 06/05/2019 11:09

Where did you get a cold compress in the woods ?

InTheHeatofLisbon · 06/05/2019 11:10

I'd report to SS if you know where they live. Very very odd reaction to her child being hurt indeed;

Vagchange · 06/05/2019 11:12

Was he about 8 or was he 8? Odd phrasing here...

Offallycheap · 06/05/2019 11:12

I wonder are they already known to SS?

Seniorschoolmum · 06/05/2019 11:13

Guessing, it’s possible that the mum has no option but to leave her children at home. She’s already feeling guilty and anxious, and is possibly concerned that officialdom will intervene, the hospital may inform social services. If she is already struggling or has an ex who is looking for a chance to take her kids away, I can imagine why she might react like that.
That doesn’t make it ok to leave a 9yo -or an 8 yo who presumably was also alone, but desperate people take risks.
You did the right thing and hopefully she will get some help now.

Utini · 06/05/2019 11:14

He fell on concrete in the woods?

Myworstnightmare123 · 06/05/2019 11:14

I imagine she is worried SS will become involved via the hospital or you hence her response.
Astonishing she has left two such young kids home alone.

Galaxy88 · 06/05/2019 11:14

My dd is also 8, so guessed. The boy later confirmed when we were talking waiting for the ambulance. While DH was calming him down, I ran to the nearest house and asked for a cold towel/first aid kit

OP posts:
BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 06/05/2019 11:15

@Offallycheap that would explain why she flipped at the thought of an ambulance being called.

Also, if theres an ambulance called they'd find out there were two children left home alone. 8 and 9 is far far too young to be left while a parent works for the day.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 06/05/2019 11:16

He fell on concrete in the woods?

I'd assumed it was some kind of walkway or cycle path. Neither unusual where I live but I don't know about other areas.

Livelovebehappy · 06/05/2019 11:16

I would probably let it go tbh. An 8 year old can be vague with information sometimes. Maybe mum was at work, but maybe someone was watching them, but he just missed out that bit. Not great parenting; I would have felt a visit to A&E was necessary, but maybe she took him there herself after assessing his injuries in the car? Just be satisfied that you did what you could to help.

Minniemousejammies · 06/05/2019 11:16

She’s worried about SS because she left them home alone.

Galaxy88 · 06/05/2019 11:16

Okay, let me clarify, we were in the woods and leaving the clearing that enters a housing estate. The boy was riding through the woods and fell over the bars on to the concrete clearing that links the housing estate to the woods

OP posts:
OddCat · 06/05/2019 11:16

shall we just let this go?

Do you really need to ask?

Galaxy88 · 06/05/2019 11:17

Yes I understand a 8 year old can be very vague. It was more his confusion with a poss head injury that I was most worried about.

OP posts:
spagbowlexplosion · 06/05/2019 11:17

Probably a struggling mum that’s has no choice but to leave her kids and work, you calling an ambulance would prompt SS so she was probably frightened.

He doesn’t sound like he needed an ambulance but I understand why you called one.

Stress and guilt make people behave strangely, don’t take it personally.

Atalune · 06/05/2019 11:18

She freaked out because she was caught out. No way should she be at work all day without proper care for her kids.

Shocking really.

ThanosSavedMe · 06/05/2019 11:18

I’m with your dh. That poor child

Sparkles07 · 06/05/2019 11:19

Please please please report this to SS. Let them decide if you've wasted their time or not. This could be part of a bigger picture.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 06/05/2019 11:21

I would call SS too. I think that really suspicious behaviour.

Galaxy88 · 06/05/2019 11:21

We thought the same spagbowl of course on reflection we won't contact SS, I'm just shocked that she couldn't speak with us for 5 secs to ask how much blood he lost, if he had lost consciousness, anything. Just hope he's okay

OP posts:
Funnyface1 · 06/05/2019 11:21

Well it just sounds like she was worried about the ambulance because if he'd gone to hospital and explained that he'd been left home alone all day with a sibling, she'd have faced some consequences. As well she should.

SparkleGem · 06/05/2019 11:21

The poor boy! At 8 he should definitely know his address, so looks like a head injury. You and your family done nothing wrong, in fact you did everything right! Very strange reaction from his mum, I'm thinking you should maybe make SS aware.

MustShowDH · 06/05/2019 11:21

She knows she did wrong leaving them alone.
She knows the hospital will flag it as a safeguarding concern.
She took it out on you.

Feel sorry for the kids. Feel sorry for her too, so maybe reporting her will get her the support she seems to need.

Galaxy88 · 06/05/2019 11:22

It made me think if calling the ambulance was a waste of time. Looking back, we had no other choice. He was confused and bleeding, we were worried he had a head injury. If the other woman had not walked by, he would have been collected by them anyway.

OP posts: