To find this mum's behaviour very strange

[Galaxy88]

Yesterday, myself, dh and 2dd were out walking in the woods when we heard a really loud cry, we ran over and a boy about the age of 8, had gone over his handle bars and landed face first on the concrete. He had made a good mess of his face and was naturally hysterical.

While DH attended to his wounds (he's first aid trained) I attempted to get some info from him as he was all alone in the woods. I asked for his name, which he gave. His address and if he had a mobile with him.

He didn't have a phone, didn't know the street name or number but knew he lived in the next village- which is a 15 minute bike ride away. Based on this, we had to call an ambulance. While waiting, we started to ask where his mum was, is she close by? He replied no, and that his mum was at work all day and had left him aged 8 and his older sister aged 9 alone in the house and he'd gone out.

Eventually, a woman walked by who recognised the boy (her dd attend the same school) and was able to call the mother's place of work and let her know.

While on the phone, the mother became highly irritated and started shouting when we said we'd called an ambulance. Saying we were wrong to do that and we should cancel asap as it was a huge over reaction. I explained it wasn't, he'd banged his head, was confused and didn't know where he lived or any contact info, let alone the mess to his head, nose and teeth.

(If the mother had been around, or if the child had a phone we probably wouldn't have called one, we couldn't leave him there screaming with blood pouring and a bump to the head)

While waiting, we cold compressed his head and applied pressure. A friend of the mother turned up first picked up the bike put it her car, grabbed the boy and made a comment about him not needing an ambulance. Moments later the mum shows up, but didn't get out of the car, the boy was placed in her car by the friend and they both drove off.

I'm sat here afterwards really confused, we weren't asking for gratitude, it wasn't necessary. But she didn't even come and ask what had happened, his injuries, what we'd done so far, based on his injuries I imagine she'd require a trip to a&e and would probably need all this info to pass over.

Am I being U to think this is just poor parenting? Not only to leave two young children, but to scold the people trying to help your ds.. dh thinks we should pass on her details to SS, as the woman from before mentioned where they lived in passing after she had gone, shall we just let this go?

There's several posters on this thread who are so busy deciding the OP was wrong that they can't bothered to read her actual posts.

Having had experience of a child who banged her head in a similar situation and later went into a coma, I can't see what else the OP could possibly have done but call an ambulance. I also don't see how she was wrong cancelling the ambulance after the mother had appeared and taken the child away. Nor do I see how she could have stopped the mother from taking the child.

But will the mother have the sense to check on the boy at regular intervals to make sure he is not lapsing into confusion or unconsciousness? Do people understand how dangerous concussion can be?

I know what it is to be afraid of SS- we were under repeated investigations over several years, but it bloody didn't stop me from getting my children medical care when they needed it.

Galaxy88 no my response was to a poster doubting your post and saying the mother getting there before the ambulance was unlikely.

So I was responding that an ambulance call for a conscious child wouldn't evoke the same priority as other calls.

I've actually been defending you on this post and have agreed with everything you did!

Has op got enough info though to report to SS? Unless she has full details such as full name and address or even car reg number, then nothing will happen. SS won’t have resources to track the family down without even basic information? Unless details can be traced from the mobile number used when contact made on phone? I reported a relative once to SS who was leaving their 9 year dd alone on a regular basis, but they did nothing. I even reported it twice in case they had overlooked my initial report. We are now 10 years down the road so irrelevant now, but not sure if they have resources to look into every report.

I feel like I need to break this down for some people, I actually can't believe the grief I'm getting for caring about a young child?

• initially, I assumed the mother was close by, so we waited before calling. But decided to call as the child was upset, had a head injury and was bleeding, not to mention that he couldn't recall his street address.

Once we realised we had no other way to get hold of his mother, we then called the ambulance.

Once the mother was made aware, was told she works within the village, we called and cancelled the ambulance and let them.know the child had been collected

Galaxy, I don't think that comment was aimed at you. Another poster said she must have been quick to get there before an ambulance. Then that poster said "did you expect a blues.... cute" because an ambulance can take a very long time to arrive, so for another poster to assume it would be there within minutes is a bit naive.

Apologies, lisbon thanks for the support.

Ah sorry, I misread. Aplogies. Sorry.

you did the right thing OP. please report.

I said I didn't think that you/your husband did wrong, Galaxy88. I am wondering though what the point of your thread is other than to get a mass of 'OMG she's a shit mum responses'. It's right there in your first post. Not very nice and extremely transparent. I imagine that's why you're getting fewer back-patting posts.

It's a huge relief that the boy was tended to and surely that is the main thing. I would have thanked you/your husband effusively for tending to my child - once I'd recovered my wits. At that moment, though, my first thought would be for my child, to make an assessment of them and act on it.

I'd be annoyed though to see a thread about it though and it's definitely not something that I would do. But, everybody's different...

Sounds like you did the right thing OP. Can't believe anyone would have thought it acceptable to leave a 9 and 8 year olds alone all day. It's exactly this kind of situation (or worse) that means they at least need an adult in the vicinity.

The incident would have triggered an automatic referral to social services if the boy went to hospital.

I probably don't have enough info livelove I just hope the boy is okay

Galaxy don't worry about it, it's a fast moving thread and you've had quite a flaming (unfairly I might add!).

If my child was hurt I'd be glad of someone like you who actually gave a shit.

I don't know why everyone's having a go at OP. She was shocked and wanted to check that this isn't normal (it isn't).

I didn't want a Thank you from the mother, I just wanted her to ask me if he'd lost any blood, if he had lost consciousness, just things she can pass on to a doctor later.

Yeah you're right, to me she isn't great for what she did, not so much for leaving the child. But her actions afterwards, her lack of empathy or understand towards the people that attended her son and stayed with him.

Thanks , lisbon I'd want the same for my dc

It's a huge relief that the boy was tended to and surely that is the main thing

Thing is, judging from the mum's reaction- he probably wasn't. An accident like that should be investigated in hospital- judging from the mum's reaction I'd say it's quite likely it wasn't. She didn't want the ambulance, she didn't want the info she would need to give at a & e. Concussion can have nasty after-effects.

Please contact Social Services. Clearly, as evidenced by the incident, this little boy was in a vulnerable position. What if nobody had found him, what if his head injury became more serious?
With him and a 9 year old home alone, anything could have happened. He could have got run over, there could have been a house fire. There are so many what ifs that could have had very bad outcomes for him and his not much older sister.

I work in safeguarding. You did exactly what I would have done in the same circumstances. The response from his Mum was worrying. Anybody else would surely have been grateful that someone had found their child, was keeping him safe and had called for an ambulance to check him over. Not waiting for an ambulance that was already on its way just seems very very odd. In short, that parent sounds as though she had a lot she wanted to hide.
From what you’ve said I reckon he may have needed A&E anyway so they may be able to match up records with your account. And I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he was already known to SS anyway.
Please report this.

Some people will excuse anything won't they? An 8 year old left on their own all day?

Geez some people are like the bloody Spanish Inquisition.

If you don't believe OP they don't stay here

I understand the type of set up you describe. Many new build estates have 'woods' around them. People describe them as woods or forests . I live near the new forest so have a different mental picture but still understand the set up!

You did absolutely the right thing on discovering a member of public alone and injured in a public place. Regardless of age or personal circumstances you treat the person and injury.

Last summer I discovered a drunk 14yo laying on pavement alongside an A road bleeding from his head. Also confused (now I know it's due to the 2 pints he'd had!). Everyone drive past and I stopped. I called an ambulance and then someone who knew him (another child from school) rode past and they contacted his mum. His mum wasn't impressed with me.
🤷‍♀️ I knew boys name and so reported to school as new he attended there.
I have no idea what happened after that but I felt reassured I'd done everything I could for him.

That's exactly it cory it not my place to judge the mother, anything could have happend and I don't understand her personal circumstances.

What I do judge her on is not asking the people that tended to her son of his injuries, what we've done to help. Where and how he landed, blood loss, just general stuff that would be helpful to a&e of she decided to go later.

Maybe the mum thought the woman who called her had given her all the relevant information and that you and your DH had got overly involved. Perhaps her priority was to check her son. Maybe she wanted to check where her other child was. There are lots of reasons why speaking to you might not have been her priority.
I think jumping to call an ambulance was an odd choice since it wasn't an injury that needed an emergency response. I'd have found out about his mum's work first or walked him back towards home. All of which would have taken less time than waiting for an ambulance to turn up.

"Overly involved".

Just how uninvolved should 2 adults - 1 of which is first aid trained be when discovering an injured and confused member of public alone in a public place?

I'd have found out about his mum's work first or walked him back towards home.

OP tried, the boy was too confused/upset to be able to tell her any information, it was a passing Mum who recognised him that gave that information.

Perhaps her priority was to check her son

Then getting out of the car might have helped!

I also don't think OP is overly involved (it's depressing that people caring about children who aren't theirs is seen as negative). AS much as I might feel sorry for the mum I'd feel a responsibility for the kids and would refer to social services. A lot of posters seem to feel more compassion for the adult than the vulnerable kids in this situation.