To find this mum's behaviour very strange

[Galaxy88]

Yesterday, myself, dh and 2dd were out walking in the woods when we heard a really loud cry, we ran over and a boy about the age of 8, had gone over his handle bars and landed face first on the concrete. He had made a good mess of his face and was naturally hysterical.

While DH attended to his wounds (he's first aid trained) I attempted to get some info from him as he was all alone in the woods. I asked for his name, which he gave. His address and if he had a mobile with him.

He didn't have a phone, didn't know the street name or number but knew he lived in the next village- which is a 15 minute bike ride away. Based on this, we had to call an ambulance. While waiting, we started to ask where his mum was, is she close by? He replied no, and that his mum was at work all day and had left him aged 8 and his older sister aged 9 alone in the house and he'd gone out.

Eventually, a woman walked by who recognised the boy (her dd attend the same school) and was able to call the mother's place of work and let her know.

While on the phone, the mother became highly irritated and started shouting when we said we'd called an ambulance. Saying we were wrong to do that and we should cancel asap as it was a huge over reaction. I explained it wasn't, he'd banged his head, was confused and didn't know where he lived or any contact info, let alone the mess to his head, nose and teeth.

(If the mother had been around, or if the child had a phone we probably wouldn't have called one, we couldn't leave him there screaming with blood pouring and a bump to the head)

While waiting, we cold compressed his head and applied pressure. A friend of the mother turned up first picked up the bike put it her car, grabbed the boy and made a comment about him not needing an ambulance. Moments later the mum shows up, but didn't get out of the car, the boy was placed in her car by the friend and they both drove off.

I'm sat here afterwards really confused, we weren't asking for gratitude, it wasn't necessary. But she didn't even come and ask what had happened, his injuries, what we'd done so far, based on his injuries I imagine she'd require a trip to a&e and would probably need all this info to pass over.

Am I being U to think this is just poor parenting? Not only to leave two young children, but to scold the people trying to help your ds.. dh thinks we should pass on her details to SS, as the woman from before mentioned where they lived in passing after she had gone, shall we just let this go?

A visit to hospital with an 8 year old who had fallen off his bike (without adding the mother was at work at the time) would NOT trigger automatic SS referrals.

That is dangerous misinformation.

If he had told the hospital or ambulance staff that he and his sister were regularly left home alone, that would be different.

But if hospitals called SS for every kid who fell off their bike and hurt themselves on a bank holiday weekend they'd never see any bloody patients!

OP you did the right thing! Calling an ambulance for an injured child who was alone in the woods/estate with no phone/contact info. Maybe even the police. As for calling SS, you absolutely should!! SS are not there to tell the mum off but to support her. If she is a struggling parent this would help. Children that young left at home alone and leaving the house with no means of emergency contact is not the way to go about it. The mother needs some support.

i dont think i was investigated when my dd was hurt in the playground, i was at supermarket and she was at playground with her sister,
had to go to A & E,
my guilt was enough.
she was older than 8 though.

A visit to hospital with an 8 year old who had fallen off his bike (without adding the mother was at work at the time) would NOT trigger automatic SS referrals.

That is dangerous misinformation.

wouldnt it be on file to build a picture if necessary?

I think jumping to call an ambulance was an odd choice since it wasn't an injury that needed an emergency response

Can we just get totally clear any person with an injury to their head demands a hospital vistit to check for brain injury.

Simple and fact.

Do you know what Blancmange is?, well the brain has around the same consistency as that!, its fragile!

particularly as mother was at work?

speak to them op, they wont judge you, unlike mn

Can we just get totally clear any person with an injury to their head demands a hospital vistit to check for brain injury.

THIS

This is very clearly a safeguarding referral-I know we can't live in the works of "what if" but...

...What if you'd not come along-he could have been there terrified for hours until she finished work?
...What if the person who offered help was a risk to children?
... What if he's have been hurt more seriously?

...children of that age absolutely should not be left in their won-there's no grey area with this (like there may be for high school age)
..what if next time the little boy isn't so lucky?

I agree the mum might be struggling so SS may be able to help. You'd never forgive yourself if you don't report it and another incident with these children is more serious ...report it xx

Galaxy88 I would be flagging this to ss to be honest. They won't just go in and drag the kids away but if the family need support and clearly they sound like they do they will take steps to help. What if no one had found this boy for a while. He was alone and unsupervised and no one knew where he was.......please report it. If SS decide no action needs to be taken then even better but always better to be safe than sorry.

Given that most posters are telling you this needs to be reported, out of interest, what is stopping you from doing so?

Atalune. Maybe the poor women has no choice. Not everyone has a fit and healthy retired mother or in laws who live a few doors down. The school may not have holiday clubs and even if they do. She may not be able to afford it. Child minders/day care centres can't see past 4 year olds.
It's all very well you saying she shouldn't go to work, but.Are you going to pay her bills or subsidise her when the Government saction her for daring to give up her job.

wouldnt it be on file to build a picture if necessary?

What file? Medical records would have details of injuries and treatments, yes. But a kid falling off their bike without a backstory wouldn't mean an automatic referral to SS.

DS1 fell down my parents stairs when he was small, because I couldn't tell them how it had happened they called SS who came and checked us out and then signed us off.

When he was older and fell off his bike (broken arm) when he was out with his pals on their own, they didn't. Because he was old enough to be out on his own.

Could you ring the school tomorrow and ask to speak to the safeguarding lead and tell them what happened.

They could then check on the child and it will be obvious with his injuries which child it was.

You have had a hard time on here op, MN at it's worst today. Trying to catch you out and pick holes in your story from the outset.

I am a GP carer and my GS was returned to me with awful facial injuries following a bike ride with his dad and paternal grandparents. They even put his hood up in the hope they could drive off before I could see. There was grit stuck in his face which they had left there for 24 hours. They didn't want to take him to hospital as their son had just had supervised contact changed to unsupervised and didn't want to jeopardise the situation for themselves. It was supervised for a reason and he took 6 months to recover from the injuries.

I'll be judgey here because I have been on the receiving end of those who put their own wants and needs before their children. She over-reacted during the phone call because she panicked, she then wanted to get her son away from you and any "agency" who may have links to childrens' services and any awkward questions. It may have just been a one-off, leaving the kids to work, but she clearly knew the score and treated you rudely and more importantly her son poorly.

For gods sake I cant believe some people are even questioning this! An 8 year old and 9 year old left by themselves all day!!! Secondly - very kind and sensible passers-by (thankfully) did exactly the right thing for the 8 year old and the mothers reaction was odd to say the least! Of course SS need to be told about this.

They might be known to ss already

That said though it does need to be reported. To give the mother help and support. Next time it be a house fire.
I don't how she's possibly doing her job properly if her children arent safe.

Report to SS OP. There is no reason not to.

Intheheatoflisbon it's clear my post is referring to the context of the post i.e an 8 year old has been left alone all day and not the child falling off a bike which would trigger ss involvement. Hardly 'dangerous misinformation'.

My friend got reported to ss for leaving her child sat on the car while she went to the supermarket for 10 minutes.

EleanorReally they might.

My comment about misinformation around automatic SS referrals was aimed at anyone who would be scared to get medical help for their child thinking bloody social workers would be all over them, when they wouldn't!

I wouldn't assume the mother went to hospital, perhaps she went home or left boy with neighbour. I would report op, ring nspcc if not sure.

A visit to hospital would’ve triggered immediate SS emergency involvement

Not true Lets, unless all information about the children being home alone was disclosed. Only then would it result in automatic referral. It's not clear from the section of your post that was quoted.

I also suspect you called an ambulance more to teach his mum a lesson than because the situation warranted one.

So, do tell us what you would have done, Dressy, if dealing with a distressed child with head and facial injuries who had been pitched over handlebars onto concrete, was showing clear signs of concussion and could not tell you his address or how to contact his mother?

I can’t honestly believe there are so many uncaring people on here! Fuck me, I hope none of you meet any of my kids, especially if they’ve had an accident. A bump to the head like that needs hospital attention, you know this op, thank Christ. We are in police safeguarding and would have called an ambulance too, you didn’t absolutely nothing wrong

You absolutely did the right thing in calling an ambulance.
I would also report the incident to social services, she clearly didn’t want to end up on their radar for whatever reason and it’s not your job to work out why but to let them deal with it/contact her.

Sorry you’re getting so much grief.

In the extreme this is how children die through abuse and neglect, people turn a blind eye and don’t get things checked out.