To find this mum's behaviour very strange

[Galaxy88]

Yesterday, myself, dh and 2dd were out walking in the woods when we heard a really loud cry, we ran over and a boy about the age of 8, had gone over his handle bars and landed face first on the concrete. He had made a good mess of his face and was naturally hysterical.

While DH attended to his wounds (he's first aid trained) I attempted to get some info from him as he was all alone in the woods. I asked for his name, which he gave. His address and if he had a mobile with him.

He didn't have a phone, didn't know the street name or number but knew he lived in the next village- which is a 15 minute bike ride away. Based on this, we had to call an ambulance. While waiting, we started to ask where his mum was, is she close by? He replied no, and that his mum was at work all day and had left him aged 8 and his older sister aged 9 alone in the house and he'd gone out.

Eventually, a woman walked by who recognised the boy (her dd attend the same school) and was able to call the mother's place of work and let her know.

While on the phone, the mother became highly irritated and started shouting when we said we'd called an ambulance. Saying we were wrong to do that and we should cancel asap as it was a huge over reaction. I explained it wasn't, he'd banged his head, was confused and didn't know where he lived or any contact info, let alone the mess to his head, nose and teeth.

(If the mother had been around, or if the child had a phone we probably wouldn't have called one, we couldn't leave him there screaming with blood pouring and a bump to the head)

While waiting, we cold compressed his head and applied pressure. A friend of the mother turned up first picked up the bike put it her car, grabbed the boy and made a comment about him not needing an ambulance. Moments later the mum shows up, but didn't get out of the car, the boy was placed in her car by the friend and they both drove off.

I'm sat here afterwards really confused, we weren't asking for gratitude, it wasn't necessary. But she didn't even come and ask what had happened, his injuries, what we'd done so far, based on his injuries I imagine she'd require a trip to a&e and would probably need all this info to pass over.

Am I being U to think this is just poor parenting? Not only to leave two young children, but to scold the people trying to help your ds.. dh thinks we should pass on her details to SS, as the woman from before mentioned where they lived in passing after she had gone, shall we just let this go?

So what happened about the ambulance you called?

Have you decided not to make the call to SS? I really would urge you to reconsider. If the boy was confused and gave incorrect information, they will find this out. I was a child safeguarding lead at work and this is something I would have spoken to the parent about and reported, based on that conversation. You can't do that, so you do need to make the call.

Definitely report. Also inform the boys school. I find it odd that an 8 year old wouldn't know their address and the mother's reaction was not within the parameters of normal at all. Worried about SS involvement or not.

I think she should be worried about SS involvement. She has left young children home alone for hours and one of her children has travelled 15 minutes by bicycle to the nearest woods then got hurt (quite severely by the sounds of it). She was nowhere to be seen then became angry that you had called an ambulance for help.

The work/life balance is never easy especially with children involved but there’s no excuse for shit neglectful parenting.

I understand that the mother was probably afraid and upset, but not to comfort her injured child was very very odd and unusual I would think?

Once the woman left, my dh called them back and asked to cancel. He said a family member had collected the boy and was not needed.

I'm wondering where you got a cold compress, how you managed to find out the exact ages of the boy and his sister and how you know they were left completely alone without a carer, and did an ambulance eventually come or did you cancel it? You only asked where his mum was? Did you ask who was looking after him?
If things are as you say then the mother will have panicked because leaving your 8 and 9 year old alone all day is very frowned upon, if the child had gone to the hospital, social services would most likely have been contacted. Surely you can guess that's why she reacted the way she did?

Report her to the police.

It's such a tough call and I imagine the mother is under alot of stress to leave the two children at home. But as someone has said before, we don't know the full story. He had a possible head injury and he did seem confused.

He was crying through out and kept saying please save me which was really hard to hear. It's a shame the friend or the mother couldn't wait 10 seconds to check for any further injuries or ask what we've done so far to pass this forward to doctors if later needed.

I would be worried the boy wouldn't get medical attention if he needs it which is why I would contact school tomorrow.

You could report this on the police non emergency number. Just ask for it to be logged as a concern for welfare. They will be able to link up with the MASH (multi agency safeguarding hub) in your area in case this isn't a one off. You will be able to rest knowing you have told someone.

Personally I would report to SS. Best be on the safe side. Clear the mum felt guilty and was on the defensive.

I'd say she was angry as she knew if ambulance came then she would be in trouble for leaving her son. I understand mums struggle but the way she handled it showed she put herself above her son? If she thanked you and was crying/worried that's a struggling mum with no choice. But to shout at you and wait in the car and not even get out to get her son herself, that seems like a bit of a red flag?

I've answered all these questions drogo

The woods is next to a housing estate, so I can to the nearest house which is a few minutes by foot and asked for a first aid kit/compress.

I asked him is mum with you? He said no she's at work.
My dh asked later on, who is with you today? Is it aunty, uncle or nanny? He said no my sister, she is 9.

My dh called and cancelled the ambulance once the mother had shown up, the ambulance had not arrived by that point.

• ran to

Honestly, I would call SS. It’s not normal or safe to immediately react with don’t call an ambulance. My father had a friend who died in childhood after bumping his head on concrete. He bled out while in the ambulance. Head wounds can be life threatening and the first reaction to hearing that yourchild has had one shouldn’t be no don’t call an ambulance. Also is it even legal to leave 8 and 9 year olds at home alone all day? This could have gone very differently.

I would report it to SS. Let them decide if it’s worthy of follow up or not.

I would take it further on the basis that a young child had what sounds like a head injury that needed medical attention and for all you know he didn’t receive any.

I'm wondering where you got a cold compress The OP has explained this.

YANBU OP and I’d contact SS. Some of these responses are really weird; sometimes on here people post about leaving their kids for 5 mins to go to the shop and get rounded on for being negligent, but here’s a kid possibly left alone for hours and posters are shrugging and going ‘Eh, she’s probably got no choice.’

yup, agree with a call to SS,
help to build a picture if necessary
out of your hands op

I think you should call 101, SS or tell the school.

Head injuries always need checking by a medical professional.

He was saying please save me?

I’d call SS OP and my main reasoning would be, if he has a head injury and needs medical attention later on, given the mother’s reaction to an ambulance, I couldn’t trust she would take him to a hospital to be seen. There’s definitely something not right there, you should trust your gut.

Why are you saying you won't call and report this?

You need too!! It doesn't matter if she's a struggling single mum! She left her young children alone all day... and since the boy acted like that was normal, she must do it a lot. Her reason for doing it doesn't matter. Those kids need help and she clearly needs support.

He was injured and she was angry that she'd been caught out; she wasn't concerned about his condition.

So many red flags here!!! Report it.

Of course you should alert SS. It's not on leaving an 8- and 9-year-old home alone all day.