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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is a bit rude?

201 replies

Seraphimofthewilderness · 05/05/2019 19:47

When at the park or any other place where there is equipment to use, why do some people let their kids try to intimidate other kids to get a 'turn'? This happened the other day. My DS (two) got on a small roundabout thing. The moment we did, I had two ten year olds almost on top of it, staring and waiting their 'turn'. Plenty of other stuff to use. I've noticed the odd family doing it at other place too. Not many, most have the grace to go and use something else and not try to get others to get off stuff by making them uncomfortable.

Have decided to ignore this behaviour.

Do people have no sense of themselves?

And no, we aren't hogging stuff. As I said, we'd just got on the bloody roundabout when they started. DS almost kicked them they were standing so close.

OP posts:
LoisLittsLover · 05/05/2019 19:50

I think it's fine to queue because then i would give dd a shorter turn than if no one is waiting.

JammyGem · 05/05/2019 19:50

Sounds like a couple of bullies-in-the-making to me. Were their parents not around? (I'm assuming probably not at that age)

namdinam · 05/05/2019 19:51

I have children about that age. I'd hope they'd be considerate but I'm not watching them closely at the park - they're 10! If I noticed I would but the reality is I wouldn't have a clue of how long you had been in there most of the time. It sounds like they were being perfectly polite, just wanted the next turn. What did they do wrong?!

Widowodiw · 05/05/2019 19:54

They were just waiting their turn went they? What’s wrong with that? Might have made you feel conscious but you give your child an adequate go, get off and then let them
Have their go. It’s a way if teaching your child to share.

Original poster
Seraphimofthewilderness · 05/05/2019 19:54

Their parents were there.

I wouldn't dream of doing this and would tell DS that it is rude to stand and stare like that. We'd go and do something else until the equipment was free. Teach him patience and sharing etc.

I'd almost understand it if the playground was busy but there was no one else there. The slide, swings, climbing frame... all free.

OP posts:
riotlady · 05/05/2019 19:55

Is waiting to use equipment really that intimidating?

SaltSpoon · 05/05/2019 19:57

Wow. I teach my child that standing and waiting her turn is good behaviour. You feel intimidated by this? Lol!

Original poster
Seraphimofthewilderness · 05/05/2019 19:57

Of course-that's the reason they do it.

Normal response surely would be to go and play with something else for a bit? Not much fun playing with something when you have people glaring at you in stony silence.

OP posts:
TroysMammy · 05/05/2019 19:57

Depends on the age. Now if teenagers (14/15) were hogging the swings and a 5 year old was waiting their turn then it's not unreasonable for the 5 year old to stand by the swings. After all swings and things are for younger children.

Winterfellismyhome · 05/05/2019 19:58

The kids round here always wait their turn. If they go and use something else, they'll lose their place in line (on busy days) cant say they're intimidating though...

Invisimamma · 05/05/2019 19:59

My dad who is 4 gets very attached to certain equipment at the park. I've taught him to stand back and wait his turn for the person before him to finish (rather than snatching or pushing). How can standing and waiting for a turn on something you want to use be rude? If he went to play on something else in between he'd never get a turn on the more popular things as other DC would run ahead and push in if he wasn't waiting beside it.

Invisimamma · 05/05/2019 20:00

Ds* not dad

Original poster
Seraphimofthewilderness · 05/05/2019 20:00

No- good behaviour would be to go and play with something else for a bit.

I've only seen this type of behaviour twice. I've ignored it both times- it's NOT the same as forming orderly ques when things are busy.

OP posts:
Fatted · 05/05/2019 20:01

It's not intimidating. It's called waiting your turn. I do this with my DC. Tell them to play on something else or stand and wait for it until it's free.

I've seen it when the bigger kids just jump on the roundabout, start trying to go on the slide or jump on the large tyre swing when obviously younger and smaller kids are still using them. THAT is intimidating.

slipperywhensparticus · 05/05/2019 20:02

To queue is British they are just being polite I thought you were going to say they were demanding bullying pushing etc but queueing?

SaltSpoon · 05/05/2019 20:02

You are absolutely wrong.

IAmNOTBent · 05/05/2019 20:02

No - good behaviour isn't to go and play on something else or they miss their turn. My DC (3 & 6) wait nicely not rushing the other children. YABU.

Quartz2208 · 05/05/2019 20:04

Yes sometimes DS really wants to go on a piece of equipment either you share (like a roundabout you can fit more on) and there are some pieces of equipment that you have to queue for otherwise you would never get a chance

How is queuing not showing patience and sharing?

What you need to do is just take a reasonable amount of time that is seen as sharing?

noeyedeer · 05/05/2019 20:05

At our local park, if you want a go one the one big bucket swing kids stand and wait. It's not intimidating. If they all left to play on something else, either they wouldn't get a turn or the person on the swing would presume that it wasn't wanted by anyone else and carry on using it. It's not rude unless they demand that your child gets off to let them on.

annikin · 05/05/2019 20:05

Yabu. Mine wait their turn politely so that other people aren't constantly jumping on next after eg your ds is finished. Otherwise they'd never get their turn. No problem with this at all imo.

Original poster
Seraphimofthewilderness · 05/05/2019 20:05

What turn? There is no turn to miss! Park is empty apart from us and them.

Queuing is very British as is waiting your turn. Getting so close that they're nearly kicked by a two year old who is on the equipment is not waiting your turn.

OP posts:
Invisimamma · 05/05/2019 20:06

But what if the child doesn't want to play on something else? They want to wait for a turn on whatever it is your child is using. By all means ake you time, but my child will stand and wait until the item is free and then take his turn. It sharing and waiting - good behaviour!

When someone is waiting beside something we're using I will using say something like '20 more pushes ds then we give the other boy a turn.' Feels like good manners to me and I'm not intimidated by someone waiting.

Quartz2208 · 05/05/2019 20:06

Then simply smile sweetly and say he has just got on and he will be playing on it for a bit

You are massively overreacting to a minor thing

Ratatatouille · 05/05/2019 20:08

YABU. We are lucky to have a couple of really good parks nearby with new equipment. The usual swings and slides etc but anything particularly exciting (like those awful spinning saucer things 🤢 or the built in roundabout) is extremely popular. As soon as one kid gets off, another (usually older and quicker than DD) kid appears from nowhere and takes their place. Queueing patiently means that DD can have a go when the child who's already on it has finished. Otherwise she goes off and plays with something else, then someone else swoops in before her when the equipment becomes free and she doesn't get to have a turn.

AbbyHammond · 05/05/2019 20:09

You're cross that some well behaved children were waiting nicely for a turn on the roundabout Grin

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