To think this is a bit rude?

[Seraphimofthewilderness]

When at the park or any other place where there is equipment to use, why do some people let their kids try to intimidate other kids to get a 'turn'? This happened the other day. My DS (two) got on a small roundabout thing. The moment we did, I had two ten year olds almost on top of it, staring and waiting their 'turn'. Plenty of other stuff to use. I've noticed the odd family doing it at other place too. Not many, most have the grace to go and use something else and not try to get others to get off stuff by making them uncomfortable.

Have decided to ignore this behaviour.

Do people have no sense of themselves?

And no, we aren't hogging stuff. As I said, we'd just got on the bloody roundabout when they started. DS almost kicked them they were standing so close.

Also, I am assuming you don't have a 10yo? They might look big and scary but they are still small and socially clueless. Next time just say 'we'll let you have a turn in a minute, in the meantime can you stand back a bit because I'm worried you are going to accidentally hit my son.'

I have this from the other side, parents of small toddlers giving my older children the evils for having the temerity to use the equipment at all, despite them being still at primary and well within the appropriate age for using the playground.

What size was the roundabout that both of you were on it because honestly I’ve always stopped the roundabout and pet approaching kids on.

I know when you have a two year old you forget that kids who are older and bigger are actually still kids but you are being ridiculous here. They’re 10, not 21 and standing with a hoody and a knife in their pocket. Smile, tell them you won’t be long or, do what I’d do and let them join your ds. I’ve never actually went on a roundabout with my kids - when they were 2 or otherwise.

I don't know what the fuck is wrong with MN tonight. Of course you're not being unreasonable, they have bad manners and in an empty park should have been told by their parents to wait until your child has finished rather than stand there staring at you. If the park was busy then it would be another story!

Hmm now I am confused.
My dc will stand and wait their turn for play equipment BUT also say thank you when their turn comes up
Are they rude or not??

When children have stood and waited on the 2 previous occasions why have you ignored them and not let them have their turn?

I have a two year old. I wouldn't let her go on with 10 year olds. She goes a bit slower as she's not great at holding on... on account of being only 2... so I wouldn't offer to push them too.

I think based on all your posts it sounds like you shold probably have asked them to step back as you or dd might have kicked them.

You suggest they were doing it to intimidate but honestly this seems unlikely for 10 year olds. They are still just children. More likely they just didn't properly appreciate boundaries and got annoyingly close.

Some people wouldn't have been bothered by this at all so it probably wouldn't have occurred to their parents to intervene.

YABU, waiting for play equipment is not menacing or threatening, these are 10 year old CHILDREN not adults. You are massively over reacting.

Just wondering if you're close to any 10 year olds? I wasn't when I had young ones and definitely expected them to know better. Only now I realise it is still really young and that a friendly bit of respectful guidance from a non-threatening adult/other parent is still helpful to their emergent weighing up of situations, especially at that age when they are first making their own way in public. At that point I was observing how mine interacted without my guidance, often not the,way I would because they didn't really know or understand the rules and had no experience. I often see a great deal of disheartening discouragement, even malice to pre-teen and teen boys. Be kind to them, they're still learning just like little ones but alone.The whole 'takes a village' thing really doesn't end.

Quite honestly I am completely flabbergasted that 2 10 year olds waiting a turn on a piece of equipment in the park can be described as rude and bullies in the making.

Wtf? They are queuing? I always teach my kids to queue at the swings etc. So what if everything else was free and you happened to be on the one plaything they wanted? Why should they have to play with other stuff. YABU and a bit ridiculous.

This thread is so weird! Queuing and waiting for your turn is good behaviour! Recently we went to a playground with DD (11) and some younger children. The little ones had a lovely time but DD is at that awkward age where she’s too big for most things in a playground but still wants to play. I told her to politely wait by the swings until they were free. I’d be so shocked if someone thought she was being rude.

This is hilarious! They are young kids waiting for their turn on play equipment. Older children are fascinating to toddlers anyway - that’s the reason little ones love the park so much. YABU.

I'm with you, OP. It's not "waiting your turn" it's "I want what you have so I'm going to annoy you until I get it".

I was at a park over Easter with my 20mth old and she was trying to tell me she wanted to go on the swings. I saw two 9 (ish) year olds clock us and practically race is to the swings. I got one and sat my DC on it and one of the boys got the other. He sat there and made "weirdo" hand gestures about us to his friend. I ignored him but they hung around until we left.

It was clear they were bored and wanted to play something else but were making a some kind of point. I don't know. But they were intensely annoying.

Poor op. I don’t think you sound rude. I think that was weird and quite intimidating, and I have older children.

YABU

they were waiting their turn. They didn’t want to go on the other equipment, they wanted to go on the roundabout so were waiting for you and PFB to finish. You’re the one who’s silly enough to be intimidated by a couple of overeager 10 year olds! 10 year olds often aren’t the best judges of either social situations or spatial awareness. A sensible adult would’ve asked them politely to step back a little so they didn’t get accidentally kicked.

You are aware that your PFB will one day be 10 right? And probably when he is, some random person will find him intimidating when he does something perfectly innocent, and you will jump to his defence because he’s only 10 and not doing anything wrong.

They queued to use it?

Little fuckers, how very dare they.

3dogs if they'd wanted to be intimidating they'd have leapt on without waiting their turn . These are 10yos. They might be annoying,10yos often are, but why didn't the op just ask them to stand back? They aren't 6-foot knife-wielding 15 year olds, though I appreciate that if someone only has a 2yo they might find it hard to tell the difference (not being sarcastic- when I had a single 2yo, even 4yos felt gigantically threatening!) Hence why so many people have said this is a total overreaction!

YABU my eldest is 8 and the local park is rapidly losing its appeal to him so he will queue for the bits he wants to use rather than go and play on something he has no interest in.

If they were too close you just say “sorry boys, can you step back a bit I don’t want to bang into you” or you could ask if they wanted to go on with your ds if they were happy not to go too fast(my dc are always careful with smaller ones).

I think YABU. And very precious about your own child 🤷🏻‍♀️

I went swimming today and put the kids' arm bands, floats and noodles at the side while they practised swimming without them, 30 seconds later various parents took them and before I knew it 3 different children had our stuff!
This doesn’t bother me. I’ve always had other kids ‘borrow’ DDs things at swimming or at the park. As long as we aren't using them and they are just sitting on the side I’m happy for other people to make use of them. People always give them back when DD wants to play with them so it’s no harm done.

What size roundabout was it? If it fits more than one person, then maybe they came so close as they were expecting you to stop it, so that they could get on it too. As is the standard etiquette in Uk parks. In the same way that standing close by is standard etiquette to indicate you would like to use this piece of equipment too.

Nothing wrong with two kids queuing to have a turn on play equipment.

You keep saying there's no turn to be had as it's not busy, if more than one child wants a go of any equipment it's the norm to queue and wait for a turn. There's turns to be had when other people want to play in the equipment.

It's weird that you wanted them to go play on something else so that your son could keep the roundabout, if I was in your shoes and there was no queue and other kids on swings then I'd assume they were happy on the swings and not wanting a play on the roundabout.

I'd have asked them to move back, give son five or ten mins and then say something like " let's go have a play on the slide and let someone else play on this, we can come back for another turn in ten mins". Etc

If the park is empty and expecting people to play on other stuff while roundabout is being used then your own son can do this too and take turns with the roundabout.

Why can't more than one child use a roundabout at the same time?

Surely roundabouts are designed for more than one child at a time to be on! YABU and have a very odd attitude towards other children. Anyone I know would have stopped it to allow them to join in!

Normally my 2 year old goes on the roundabout with several children, except the much older ones that want to go very fast - they tend to kindly take over pushing instead until my 2 year old has finished his turn. I imagine the boys thought you were rude for not offering them to jump on too. At least they politely waited their turn.