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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a bit rude?

201 replies

Seraphimofthewilderness · 05/05/2019 19:47

When at the park or any other place where there is equipment to use, why do some people let their kids try to intimidate other kids to get a 'turn'? This happened the other day. My DS (two) got on a small roundabout thing. The moment we did, I had two ten year olds almost on top of it, staring and waiting their 'turn'. Plenty of other stuff to use. I've noticed the odd family doing it at other place too. Not many, most have the grace to go and use something else and not try to get others to get off stuff by making them uncomfortable.

Have decided to ignore this behaviour.

Do people have no sense of themselves?

And no, we aren't hogging stuff. As I said, we'd just got on the bloody roundabout when they started. DS almost kicked them they were standing so close.

OP posts:
ATowelAndAPotato · 05/05/2019 20:10

You've only seen this behaviour twice (a behaviour that most other posters felt was normal/actively teach their kids to do), but felt the need to start a thread about it being intimidating...

YABU

Original poster
Seraphimofthewilderness · 05/05/2019 20:10

No, I'm cross that they stood and glared at us as soon as we got on. Standing so close I had to change how we were sitting to avoid kicking them. Maybe I shouldn't bother next time...

OP posts:
MynameisJune · 05/05/2019 20:11

DD is 3, once she decides she wants to go on something that’s it. She won’t be persuaded to go on anything else. So she knows to stand and wait her turn.

You’re being really weird about it, and if hazard that your DS is PFB. Wait until he has a meltdown because he wants the swings and only the swings. And the only way to calm him is to wait, stood by said swings.

sittingonacornflake · 05/05/2019 20:11

I think YABU. If they didn't stand and wait then no one would know they wanted a turn and might have stayed on the equipment much longer.

dontlikebeards · 05/05/2019 20:12

Invisimamma i completely agree, I do the 20 more pushes thing.

My 5yo wanted to go on the roundabout this afternoon, she would not be persuaded to use anything else so she stood and waited for her turn.

thebear1 · 05/05/2019 20:12

I have a 10 year old and the park has lost its appeal, there are few things he wants to go on now so he waits his turn near the piece of equipment he wants to go on. Its not rude in my opinion, it means children get to go on what they want. It is an informal system that has been working for years. I did it is a child and am 47.

neverendingflorist · 05/05/2019 20:12

I kind of understand what you mean OP. I have anxiety and really hate people being close to me and find it intimidating, however the people who are close are doing absolutely nothing wrong and it is an issue I have. Are you an anxious person?

Floralnomad · 05/05/2019 20:12

Waiting their turn is perfectly reasonable and was certainly the norm when our dc were small enough to use play equipment. If they didn’t wait and went off to play on something else how would you know they wanted a turn and for all they knew you may have stayed on the thing for quite a while .

gamerwidow · 05/05/2019 20:12

Waiting your turn isn’t rude or intimidating if all they are doing is standing there.
It’s good park etiquette to know that if a piece of equipment is popular and there are people queuing for it then you need to make your turns quick.

Floralnomad · 05/05/2019 20:13

If they were standing so close that they were going to get kicked why didn’t you just ask them to move back a bit so that you didn’t kick them .

dontlikebeards · 05/05/2019 20:14

Why didn't you ask them to stand back a bit as you didn't want to kick them?

crumble82 · 05/05/2019 20:15

Agree with everyone else, if they hadn’t waited next to you, you and your DS might not have realised they wanted a turn. If they were standing too close you could have asked them nicely to step back a bit so they didn’t get kicked but it does sound like you are over reacting a bit.

gamerwidow · 05/05/2019 20:15

Standing so close I had to change how we were sitting to avoid kicking them. Maybe I shouldn't bother next time...
Why didn’t you just say ‘sorry kids you’re going to have to move back a bit in case we kick you’?
I know 10 year olds probably look big when your child is a toddler but they’re still just kids. When your child is older you’ll realise how young 10 is and that you were being a bit silly.

MadAboutWands · 05/05/2019 20:17

Waiting their tune is normal.
Waiting so close that they touch you u as you turn round isn’t.
Going and play with something else could have been a possibility but certainly wasn’t the only thing they could do.

Original poster
Seraphimofthewilderness · 05/05/2019 20:19

I find this wierd anyway.

It's not waiting your turn- there is no turn to wait for. My DS can and does wait his turn when the park is busy. That is normal.

This isn't that. Just strange and I would tell any child of mine to come away and do something else.

OP posts:
TickTockBaby · 05/05/2019 20:19

Surely it's waiting in turn?!??

🤨

AbbyHammond · 05/05/2019 20:21

Er... Your ds was having a turn.
They were waiting for him to finish so they could have a turn.

Original poster
Seraphimofthewilderness · 05/05/2019 20:21

No, it's not.

There was nobody else there and lots of other equipment to use.

Not about turns at all.

OP posts:
PamelaX · 05/05/2019 20:22

why should they go and play on something else?
They are waiting for their turn nicely, that's what parents teach them.

You sound very entitled and rude if you think your little darling should have exclusivity of something. Teach him to share, and not to spend so long on something when others want to play.

Kids do tend to stare and stand very close when they queue, that's true.They don't mean anything bad by it, they just try to save their spot in the queue, which is fair enough.

I've only seen this type of behaviour twice. I've ignored it both times
so you ignore the turn of others because you think your child has priority? Blimey, who is rude here! CF is the polite word that comes to mind. I'd be embarrassed to be you

rainbowunicorn · 05/05/2019 20:23

Oh my goodness OP you sound like a child yourself. Get over it. They were waiting to get on the roundabout. They are just kids in a park doing you and your child no harm at all.
Get a grip.

PamelaX · 05/05/2019 20:24

There was nobody else there and lots of other equipment to use.

so you little darling had a lot of choice, why should others do something else and not yours exactly?
The rudeness of some entitled parents is astonishing sometimes.

Mamabear12 · 05/05/2019 20:26

You act like this is entirely your park. Totally unreasonable! They are waiting for their turn. They could just get on the roundabout and spin it around with your two year old. But instead they wait their turn. Just bc your child is on the roundabout doesn’t mean other children can’t go on or should be going a big distance to make sure you and dc have enough space to be comfortable. Geez. Every time I see kids on around about, more kids join in. If my dc was on and I saw kids waiting I would ask if they want to join, And older dc usually know not to go fast w a two year old on. If not, tell them to please keep it slow.

PamelaX · 05/05/2019 20:28

I am going to make a wild guess... 1st child OP?

Come back in 2 or 3 years and let us know what you think of parents who decide to ignore your little darling queuing nicely for his turn.

fairgame84 · 05/05/2019 20:29

YABU
This is standard play park etiquette. Children stand and wait to signal that they want a turn. My DS is now 14 and it was normal when he was little. My brother and I used to do it in the 80s and 90s. If the kids walk away then the person on the equipment won't know they are waiting and won't come off. Kids tend to end their turn quicker when they know others are waiting.

Drogosnextwife · 05/05/2019 20:30

Bloody hell what massive over reaction. You are going to have some stressful times ahead of this annoyed you enough to start a thread OP.

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