To think this is a bit rude?

[Seraphimofthewilderness]

When at the park or any other place where there is equipment to use, why do some people let their kids try to intimidate other kids to get a 'turn'? This happened the other day. My DS (two) got on a small roundabout thing. The moment we did, I had two ten year olds almost on top of it, staring and waiting their 'turn'. Plenty of other stuff to use. I've noticed the odd family doing it at other place too. Not many, most have the grace to go and use something else and not try to get others to get off stuff by making them uncomfortable.

Have decided to ignore this behaviour.

Do people have no sense of themselves?

And no, we aren't hogging stuff. As I said, we'd just got on the bloody roundabout when they started. DS almost kicked them they were standing so close.

Because then you risk a mouthful of abuse from the parents

You seem very anxious about other people so maybe look at that. Asking them to step back is fine and if you did face abuse from the other parents then that would be a reason to start a thread!!

even Prince George share his turn when he's playing in public playgrounds... just saying OP, you are really not that special.

What a funny thread.

It doesnt sound as if you talked to the older children at all. I would have made small talk - eg we've only just got on, do you mind waiting a couple of minutes for DS to have a long-ish turn., do you want to help push. etc. They would have scarpered in total embarrassment!!

But seriously, they were waiting politely for their turn.

I suppose when any of you go to the gym, you would do the same? Even in an othewise empty gym. If you get on the bus and there is only one other person on, you'd all go and sit next to them? I doubt it

They were kids!

Why ask the aibu question, OP? Your mind, is made up already.

You can’t really compare what we would do as adults to what children do.
They don’t necessarily have the same awareness of personal space and impulse control.

At 10? Year 5 or 6? My daughter is in year 5 and is 10, she is definitely aware of personal space and can control herself. So can the majority of her class....they will be at secondary school in just over a year so they better learn fast.

It might be a bit much to find this age group intimidating as an adult but there are definitely some litlle shits of this age that would try to intimidate by standing too close and staring. I said earlier that I had come across this behaviour when my kids were younger, I'm sure it still exists. You can try talking to them as I did but got sniggers and talked about, let's not pretend that all kids are lovely innocent angels who just don't understand.

Err yes your child is too young for that equipment if as you said up thread that 'of course' you had to go on with him because he's only two. There is age specific equipment on children's parks. So if there were toddler swings, the safety kind you sit them in, but you wanted to go on the normal swings with your two year old on your knee, taking up a swing meant for older kids, would you?

Who would guess a visit to the park is full of angst and drama! Mine are too old for the park now but I remember having to follow mine about or you do get others who will intimidate, although that’s what probably can happen in the school playground sometimes when you’re not there, so it’s just something that prepares them for life in general. A pet hate of mine used to be kids climbing the slide instead of using steps, dirtying the slide in the process while mum and dad stood nearby watching their dc indulgently.

Err yes your child is too young for that equipment if as you said up thread that 'of course' you had to go on with him because he's only two.

There's plenty of things that children can do with a little bit of help. This makes no sense.

There are some pretty low expectations of 10 year olds displayed on this thread coupled with a lack of willingness to take responsibility for their actions. No wonder so many places are full of annoying children.

There are some pretty low expectations of 10 year olds displayed on this

I agree. Strange really when so many mumsnet kids are doing their own washing and cooking from age 6. Obviously these capable children lose all sense when at the playground. 😂

YABU. Waiting your turn is standard playground etiquette.

OP you are being very precious. Seriously, unclench a little.

If you refuse to ever talk to children that aren't yours because 'youd get a mouthful of abuse from their parents' you are setting yourself up for a very angst-filled decade. I've often told other kids if they are out of order, not in a shouty way - I might say 'careful sweetie you're about to bash my toddler'. I've been a parent for 11 years and have yet to receive a mouthful of abuse from anyone, but then I don't tend to assume that the world is out to get me, and try to think the best about other kids, not assume they are feral monsters out to intimidate me.

If they didn't indicate that they wanted to go on the roundabout by waiting then how would you have known that they wanted a turn at all??

Wouldn't you just have assumed that they were happy playing on all the other equipment and you and your child would have continued playing on the roundabout? Which as far as they know could potentially have been for a long time.

They had to show their interest in the roundabout somehow!

YABU, and you sound as stubborn as a mule.

Waiting your turn is fine. Shouting, pushing and trying to chase kids away who are already using something because you want it right now is unacceptable. Children who do that make me really annoyed and I am shocked when I see their parents nearby obviously thinking nothing of it

Indeed, I think kids do lose their sense when they’re let loose in the playground . (I also think a lot of MNers are lying when they say their DC are knocking up Sunday lunch at aged 6 )

But the point it they may well just be being badly brought up shits, but there’s nothing to stop the OP from being an adult.

I think you where the rude one to ignore them OP. You are an adult and they are children. I would have asked if they wanted to go on with him, but warned it would be really slow, or just asked if they would mind standing back so they don't get hurt and told them we wouldn't be long.
Queuing is normal at the park, it's how children learn not to hog the equipment and to share.

It's worse when the parents stand next to the waiting child saying loudly 'you have to wait until that child has finished - they have been there a long time haven't they? How selfish and rude. Don't they realise others are waiting? We are waiting patiently aren't we? What a selfish little child...'. Or the ones who confuse being assertive with being a bully brat.

Some people in this thread reaaaalllyyy haven't seen what it's like to live on a rough council estate, given their opinions on ten year olds in general. some ten year olds will follow you shouting at you 'I'll fuck you up' 'my mum will twat you' 'get your tits out', 'gizza cig' - not their fault it's how they've been brought up but it still happens. That's probably why I know what OP means, because the kids where I lived absolutely would have intimidated other kids to get off something on the park because they wanted something someone else had... then would have not bothered about it once their 'turn' came.

I'm sure that's true prequelle, but there are really not that many kids in the market for deliberately intimidating toddlers, and op gives no indication that these were anything but ordinary 10yos. The playground we go to after school is in a rough estate but most kids are kind and considerate of little ones, if you get one teenager swearing you inevitably get his mates saying 'oi stop it there are little kids here'!

Prequelle
I was a kid off a rough council estate and I still maintain most kids are just kids and not thugs.

Standing waiting their turn, maybe a bit socially awkward at 10 to not realise they were staring.

OP you’d do better to teach your kid to use a playground item for a fair amount of time and not get off early due to feeling intimidated by other people waiting.

I agree you seem terribly oversensitive. So what if your PFB felt they had to get off the equipment earlier than they wanted because someone was waiting? That's a lesson in being considerate isn't it? To call it bullying and intimiidation is way ott

“Because you risk a mouthful of abuse from the parents”

No, no you don’t. I certainly don’t. You are either judging others by your own behavioural standards or you need to work on how you talk to people if a “mouthful of abuse” is a frequent occurrence when you make what the rest of us would consider to be a polite and reasonable request.