To think this is a bit rude?

[Seraphimofthewilderness]

When at the park or any other place where there is equipment to use, why do some people let their kids try to intimidate other kids to get a 'turn'? This happened the other day. My DS (two) got on a small roundabout thing. The moment we did, I had two ten year olds almost on top of it, staring and waiting their 'turn'. Plenty of other stuff to use. I've noticed the odd family doing it at other place too. Not many, most have the grace to go and use something else and not try to get others to get off stuff by making them uncomfortable.

Have decided to ignore this behaviour.

Do people have no sense of themselves?

And no, we aren't hogging stuff. As I said, we'd just got on the bloody roundabout when they started. DS almost kicked them they were standing so close.

It's not rude to wait your turn. Also, while it's fine to let a baby or toddler have a go at something they're a bit young for, an adult should try not to get in the way of children wanting to play too. I always moved DS on to play on something else after a short turn, until he was old enough to play with the other children on his own.

Yabu. Waiting by equipment is the norm where I am. I do suggest to my nearly three year old that we go play with something else, but she always insists on waiting. I'd have to drag her away kicking and screaming!

But off they don't wait there. Then your son could have stayed on the roundabout for 20mins none the wiser that someone else wanted to use it. If you felt they were too close you could have said "would you mind stepping back a bit, I think you're scaring my 2 year old a little bit"

My typing went very wrong there!

Yabu good behaviour is to stand and wait for a turn. As others have said going and playing on something else would lose their place. Sometimes there just isn't anything they want to go on. There is a Peppa Pig episode about turn taking at the park. It's all about turn taking and patience

I think this is one of those things when you have little kids, and you don't realise how little 'bigger' kids still are.

I seriously doubt a couple of ten year olds are intimidating They're quietly waiting their turn but maybe just not socially smart enough yet to think 'it would be better if we backed off a bit'.

When you have older kids you'll realise they still need taught a lot of things about the best way to behave in situations.

I often see this here on MN; parents of toddlers who have very little experience of older children, who simultaneously expect them to be like smaller adults, and also criticise their parents for not following them around and controlling their every move.

Parenting older children is a different ball game; you can’t hover over them, you sometimes have to let them navigate social situations for themselves, and sometimes they will get it wrong because they are children and they are learning. This doesn’t mean they haven’t been taught manners! And it’s fine for adults around them to help them learn by guiding them; you don’t need to “tell them off”, just a friendly “stand back please! You’re a bit too close and we don’t want you to get hurt!” would suffice.

Cross post with Audacity, who said it better than me. Not sure OP is very interested though...

This one wpuld have been easy to solve .....

'hi boys/girls we can see you're waiting for a turn of the roundabout. We'll only be a few minutes, could you stand back a little bit so that nobody gets hurt? Thanks.'

'hi boys/girls we can see you're waiting for a turn of the roundabout. We'll only be a few minutes, could you stand back a little bit so that nobody gets hurt? Thanks.'
Exactly!

Yep. If you’re not sure about how to phrase it / what tone to use OP, just think about how you would like adults to speak to your DC in a few years when they misjudge a situation and do the wrong thing (because they will, no matter how well you teach mannera!)

Did you make eye contact or say anything at all to the boys? If not, that's really weird. If you avoided their gaze, I expect they were pretty confused. They're still kids, they look for the adult in a situation to tell them what they're allowed to do. So, in your situation, it could have been,
'Hello, would you like a turn?'
'Hello, we'll just be five minutes. Dc likes to go slower than you guys do.'
All of this bitterness on your side could have been avoided if you'd behaved like an ordinary adult would.

Because then you risk a mouthful of abuse from the parents.

@OP. Whilst it's quite possible that this kid was a bit poor with personal space, I think you need to accept that your response to this situation is odd.

• Getting a mouthful of abuse from other parents would be very unusual.
• Of course other people teach their children to say please and thank you.
• No, it would not be normal for parents to micromanage a 10YO.

Is it possible you are being a little over anxious? Might you (and your child) benefit from trying to be more relaxed and interacting with other kids a bit?

Were you intimidated by a couple of 10 yr olds, OP?!

It sounds as though the situation would have easily been resolved by a polite word from the adult in the situation ie. YOU.

when any of you go to the gym, you would do the same? Even in an othewise empty gym

In fact just saturday, my friend was in the gym, had said to the person using the tread mill, could i use it after you, i'm just over here when you've finished, in the 20 seconds it took for the person using the tread mill to get off and walk the 5 yards across the gym to get my friend some one else had jumped on and when both my friend and the previous person said but wait it was my friends turn the person who'd jumped on went oh but it was free so i'm on it now. So yes by going and using another piece of equiment my friend lost her turn in the gym.
Not when the rest of the gym is free it isn't. You'd go and use something else actually as i've just shown people come in to the gym at different times and miggt presume that no one is waiting.
Also its quite common for work outs to be in a set order, to rest certian parts of your body, or to work on set body areas, theres no point going oh the treadmills used i'll go and lift weights if its your legs you need to strenghen.
Also some people go to the gym to use one piece of equiment, until resently my friend literally could only use the treadmill because she was recovering from surgery, when shes training for something she needs the treadmill not the weights bexause again lifting weights isn't going to help her run 13 miles

If you get on the bus and there is only one other person on, you'd all go and sit next to them? I doubt it
As someone with autism people sitting next to me when theres empty seats is ome of my biggest bug bares. And tryst me it absolutely DOES HAPPEN YES! a lot!! I often have to move to one of those empty seats even if i was siting down first. I've been asked to move my bag so sone one can sit next to me on bus with about 5 people on. I had to get up and move myself and my bag to another empty seat.

If my son is being rude

They werent being rude they were waiting their turn

It helps if you read the OP subsequent posts

It helps if the OP isnt rude, actually l8stens to what people are saing and doesnt cone across like this

It helps if the OP isnt rude, actually l8stens to what people are saing

According to MN legend that happened once, but no-one can find the thread.

@donquixotedelamancha 😁

So it's not really the two ten year olds who you found intimidating then OP but their parent? In what way did you assess their parent's behaviour and demeanor in order to conclude that they would give you a mouthful of abuse if you politely, no drama asked their children to move back a step or two so they you and your child didn't accidentally hit them while they were waiting?

According to MN legend that happened once, but no-one can find the thread

😂

It is the classic
Op: AIBU
everyone: yes
op: no i'm not bevause
Everyone: yes ....and you really could have sorted the situation really easily
OP: no i'm not but im going to be rude now cos every ones disagreeing with me

If you get on the bus and there is only one other person on, you'd all go and sit next to them? I doubt it
You can’t really compare what we would do as adults to what children do.
They don’t necessarily have the same awareness of personal space and impulse control.
I also doubt very much any parent will give you a mouthful of abuse for asking kids nicely to move back a bit.

I still think their parents should've said something. I would've done.

said what? "that lady is being really rude, she won't let you have a go, but you know that we take turn in public place, don't you? Just because a grown-up is rude doesn't mean you have to be rude, it's not your fault"

would that help next time?

If you get on the bus and there is only one other person on, you'd all go and sit next to them? I doubt it If I had a reason for wanting that seat, such as a disability, yes. Otherwise all the seats are much the same. With playground equipment you often have half of it aimed at young children, and older children are going to have favourites out of the rest.

YABU. They were waiting their turn. The fact that the rest of the park is unused is irrelevant. Clearly that piece of equipment is the best

Sounds like you just want to moan about them, OP.

You’re comparing their behaviour to adults in a gym, which is stupid because they’re not adults, they’re children.

And you won’t say anything to them because you think you’ll get abused by their parents . Have you seen their parents abusing people then? I assume you must have to make such an assumption. Weirdly, I’ve never been abused by parents when I’ve had to have a word with kids in a playground.

I’d just stay in if I were you, I mean if you can’t be arsed to interact with other people and model how to resolve these things to your DS.

Of course OP is being unreasonable. Verging on batshit, frankly.

If you want exclusive access to a playground, build your own, book a private one. Otherwise, yes, others will want to use the same thing and will have as much right as you have.

being an adult and bullying 10 year old is just ridiculous.