DH meeting friend for lunch AIBU to ask him to be back by 4

[Hermagsjesty]

I’m genuinely not sure if AIBU. DH and I had planned to take the kids out for picnic and park today. They are 5 and 7 plus an 8 week old baby.

One of his very good friends’ Dad passed away recently. That friend has asked him out for lunch today (messaged him this morning). I’ve said of course he should go and meet him for lunch but asked DH to make sure he’s back by 4pm because that’s when the online shopping is arriving and I don’t want to be tied to having to be in for it/ and putting it all away if I’m taking the 3 kids out on my own. Is that unreasonable?

I’m a bit sleep deprived from being up feeding the baby so may not be being as reasonable as I could be...

I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking the idea of bringing his friend back to help is just bizarre.

Was he hone by 4?

Sorry, missed all these replies as we’d sorted it between us! DH called to say it looked like it was going to turn into a more sprawling occasion so me and the kids were back in time (and the bigger ones were actually very angelic helpers). So, it all worked out!

I’m so sorry to hear about some people’s experiences of feeling abandoned during a loss. I just wanted to reassure you DH’s friend isn’t alone - he also has a wife and kids (and extended family) - this was about his friends getting together for the first time since it happened (he’s been down South with his siblings until now). Lunch ended up lasting until 11pm taking in drinks, snooker hall and curry house and DH said they had a good chat about his friends’ (quite complicated) relationship with his Dad so it was obviously what he needed!

Thanks again for the replies.

OP I'm glad it all worked out and everyone agreed.

I do hope that you get a chance for a wee break at some point today. Not in a tit for tat way or anything like that, just a bit of time to yourself after a very busy day yesterday.

@Hermagsjesty you were never unreasonable. My replies and the replies of some of the other people on this thread were directed at the arseholes.

I'm glad it was all sorted and your husband was able to be there for his friend while you and he were able to communicate effectively. You've been very warm and generous which is more than can be said for some of the posters on this thread.

Glad he was able to give his mate the time and you managed OK without him. Thank God he wasn't married to some on this thread who presumably would have had his bags packed in the front lawn or would have been calling every 30 minutes to see when you were coming back or who would have sat in a pub somewhere alone all day today just to get "their equal leisure hours in"

Theoldwoman

So you want your partner to come home by a certain time from a lunch supporting his friend through grief to help you put the shopping away?

Are you for real?

^^this with bells on ^

Vanillamanilla1 you clearly read some of the thread so why didn't you read it all before posting?

Actually Vanilla the DH stayed out drinking til 11pm and OP was cool with it

OP you sound lovely. I am sure that your DH's friend truly appreciated what DH did for him, which he could not have done without your flexibility. His friend will always remember how your DH was there for him.

OP you sound lovely. I am sure that your DH's friend truly appreciated what DH did for him, which he could not have done without your flexibility. His friend will always remember how your DH was there for him.

This!