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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum seems to have had a personality change after operation!

219 replies

Beesinmybonnet · 04/05/2019 14:24

I have posted on here before but have name changed for this.

My mum has just had major surgery. The surgery took place on Thursday and when I visited yesterday, all seemed to be fine. She was awake but quite sleepy. She is in her late 70s and has no dementia or other issues (so we thought).

I have just got back from the hospital now and from the moment I arrived there she was shouting at me and threatening to throw things at me. She appears to know who I am as she was calling me by name but she was very suspicious of me, telling the staff how awful I am and how she has had an awful life with all her children! She said we are scheming against her and want rid of her. She has three children and we all dote on her as she's always been such a loving, caring mum.

She is refusing her medication and food. She even grabbed the nurses lanyard at one point. I tried to give her a drink, she said I have probably poisoned it so there is no way she was drinking it.

I'm starting to think this must be what she really thinks of me. Can this happen after anesthetic? The staff reassured me this is quite normal, especially if someone has memory issues but she didn't have anything like this before the operation. I'm scared her 'true thoughts' must be coming out and she actually thinks we are all terrible children who want to harm her.

OP posts:
Onecutefox · 04/05/2019 18:34

Hope it's just an infection but they must give her antibiotics to treat it asap. Please insist on it, OP.

Prequelle · 04/05/2019 18:35

If she has an infection they don't need OP insisting on giving her antibiotics.

raviolidreaming · 04/05/2019 18:38

If she has an infection they don't need OP insisting on giving her antibiotic

Maybe this is really a reverse and it's the patient's medical team posting to formulate a management plan... Wink

bruffin · 04/05/2019 18:40

My DM was similar after an operation for stomach cancer. It was the morphine. She was having hallucinations she was in a cave and that there were secret agents/spies on the ward.

Prequelle · 04/05/2019 18:43

Haha Grin
'Mmm antibiotics for an infection, what a novel idea! These Mumsnet posters might be onto something Doctor. Nurse here's a shocking one for you, try a urine dip on a confused PT Shock'

LizB62A · 04/05/2019 18:44

Delirium can set in quite quickly with older people in hospital - it can be very confusing in wards with white walls, no outside view, not much stimulus, etc.

Taffeta · 04/05/2019 18:47

Def check for infection

My sister got like this in hospital for a routine op before they discovered she had sepsis

steff13 · 04/05/2019 18:49

My grandfather, a lovely, gentle, kind-hearted man punched a nurse in the hospital because of a bad reaction to medication after surgery. We went to visit him, and he was strapped to the bed! We asked why, and that's when they told us he punched a nurse! We couldn't believe it. But he kept telling us they were keeping horses in the room next to him. Once the medicine wore off he was his old self.

justilou1 · 04/05/2019 19:10

I’m going with the morphine, too. Poor thing! Does she appear to be distressed at all? If she is, perhaps switching to a synthetic opiate might help with delirium.

raviolidreaming · 04/05/2019 19:16

Prequelle I can picture the scene now:

'Mr Surgeon, I think you need to see this', as a junior doctor hands over this thread.

Apologies though, OP. I don't mean to minimise anything you're going through; I know how distressing and difficult it is. However, there are more causes of a delirium than just an infection - including having an operation and anaesthetic (as your mum's doctors recognise) - and it's the misunderstanding that delirium is always caused by infection / that antibiotics is the answer and the doctors are wrong if they say otherwise which can cause problems when infection screens are clear.

Bestfootforward1 · 04/05/2019 19:17

Same thing happened with Dad but it was a UTI and dehydration but he seemed to recover mostly. However, when it happened to DM (with a UTI) she had a decline in her dementia and never got back to where she was.

DointItForTheKids · 04/05/2019 19:19

OP - haven't ready every single post but when you said heart surgery, it reminded me of a colleague who's dad had major heart surgery at a similar age.

He literally went gaga after the op and didn't know where he was, what he was saying - he was. mentally, all over the place. It got better and better as the weeks went on. He too didn't have any issues like that before. It just took a while for all systems in his body to recover - but he was COMPLETELY different for a while and talking gibberish.

He's perfectly fine now and made good progress after this initial period of being so completely different. So please take heart from that, I think it is something that can just happen. It's GREAT there's not an infection and I think this will gradually improve - best of luck, it must be v difficult to see such a huge change.

Onecutefox · 04/05/2019 19:20

Mmm antibiotics for an infection, what a novel idea

Oh, there must be a Calpol/paracetamol then - a cure from everything.

mamaofboyzz · 04/05/2019 19:23

It sounds like a urine infection this can be very common or delirium due to anaesthetic or lack of sleep. Big hugs x

mrsjoyfulprizeforraffiawork · 04/05/2019 19:24

I used to be secretary to a cardiothoracic team and several of our patients went a bit strange after their surgery (temporarily) - one man got out in the night and was pursued by police whilst ran naked down Whitechapel Road. One terribly nice little lady swore like a trooper immediately after her operation - the surgeons all told her husband not to worry and not to tell when she was back to normal. Unfortunately, he told her and she was totally mortified and when she had to come for her follow up consultation apologised and was very, very embarrassed.

Prequelle · 04/05/2019 19:27

ravioli Grin

Also, paracetamol is a symptom reliever not a cure. I'm just saying this person's medical team really don't need random internet folk telling them what they simply 'must' be doing for something they see literally every day Wink

Onecutefox · 04/05/2019 19:39

paracetamol is a symptom reliever not a cure

Yes but sometimes you have a bacterial infection and you are told to take paracetamol and then it gets worse.

MachineBee · 04/05/2019 19:40

I’ve heard of this from friends relatives and in all cases it’s resolved within a couple of days max.

I’m always a bit wary about anyone other than close family visiting immediately after surgery. I’ve had visitors who were people I work for (members of the association I work for) turn up on the afternoon after my morning surgery. I then had to deal with their uncomfortableness when I vomited over the bed - bowl had been moved out of reach. By them. Hmm

OP - I hope you’re DM is soon herself again. As PPs have said, best not to tell her what’s been happening.

MrHaroldFry · 04/05/2019 19:41

Infection (UTI,Kidney) and dehydration is often the culprit of this kind of 'personality change'.
This are not her 'true' thoughts.

alittlepieceofme · 04/05/2019 19:41

This has happened to my dad twice in his 70's, once after his bypass and the second time a few weeks ago due to pneumonia and a kidney infection! It's horrible to go through and was very scary at the the time! He was horrible, very paranoid! It passed for my dad and he returned to normal! I'm sure it will for your mum too!

Onecutefox · 04/05/2019 19:42

I'm just saying this person's medical team really don't need random internet folk telling them what they simply 'must' be doing for something they see literally every day But medical staff can be incompetent as well.
Well, I hope the OP's mum is well looked after.

Prequelle · 04/05/2019 19:48

Yes but sometimes you have a bacterial infection and you are told to take paracetamol and then it gets worse

Not everyone with a bacterial infection requires antibiotics to be handed to them like sweets so yes in a minor one taking paracetamol to help relieve symptoms would be good advice. If it gets worse, obviously further treatment in the form of antibiotics would be required but there's nothing wrong in recommending someone to have paracetamol to help them feel a bit better until their own body can fight off the infection.

Prequelle · 04/05/2019 19:48

That hasn't anything to do with the OPs mother though so moving on... Grin

CheekyWeeGobshite · 04/05/2019 19:49

Delirium after heart surgery is extremely common. I work in a cardiothoracic unit and we have a rapid response team specifically for dealing with patients who have extreme variants. It's not clear exactly what the cause is - having major surgery is a risk in itself perhaps because of the trauma to the body and the use of opiates like fentanyl, morphine etc probably ays a part. UTIs are more common after having a catheter and your mum will almost certainly have had one. However, there does seem to be something about heart surgery itself that can cause cognitive issues, particularly with coronary artery bypass surgery. It might be to do with being on a heart lung machine, which can cause tiny bubbles of air, fragments of blood cells, or small clots to travel to the brain (although even heart surgery without going on a heart lung machine can have an effect). Blood flow to the brain can also be altered during and after the surgery too. The good news is that the vast majority of patients make a complete recovery and if your mum was well before then she is likely to recover well.

Onecutefox · 04/05/2019 19:53

Prequelle, sorry, I don't want to offend you. It's nothing about you. As I said above not everyone in your field is competent. That's it.

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