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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum seems to have had a personality change after operation!

219 replies

Beesinmybonnet · 04/05/2019 14:24

I have posted on here before but have name changed for this.

My mum has just had major surgery. The surgery took place on Thursday and when I visited yesterday, all seemed to be fine. She was awake but quite sleepy. She is in her late 70s and has no dementia or other issues (so we thought).

I have just got back from the hospital now and from the moment I arrived there she was shouting at me and threatening to throw things at me. She appears to know who I am as she was calling me by name but she was very suspicious of me, telling the staff how awful I am and how she has had an awful life with all her children! She said we are scheming against her and want rid of her. She has three children and we all dote on her as she's always been such a loving, caring mum.

She is refusing her medication and food. She even grabbed the nurses lanyard at one point. I tried to give her a drink, she said I have probably poisoned it so there is no way she was drinking it.

I'm starting to think this must be what she really thinks of me. Can this happen after anesthetic? The staff reassured me this is quite normal, especially if someone has memory issues but she didn't have anything like this before the operation. I'm scared her 'true thoughts' must be coming out and she actually thinks we are all terrible children who want to harm her.

OP posts:
dottycat123 · 04/05/2019 17:14

I am a mental health liaison nurse as others have said she has a delirium. There is a saying within older peoples mental health, delirium develops over hours or days, depression develops over weeks and dementia develops over months. Your Mum may have increased risk factors for delirium but don't let the surgeons convince you there is nothing more to do other than wait.
I would suggest you ask for all her bloods to be rechecked to exclude dehydration or Infection. A urine specimen needs sending and if she is newly catheterised ask for it to be removed, urinary catheters are an independent risk factor for delirium even with no Infection. Check medications for anything new, As a pp said Tramadol is a common cause as is oxycodone.
Try to bring in a clock and write a memory prompt card with a reminder where she is and why eg. You are in hospital and have had your leg operated on. Try not to let her sleep in the day.
Delirium is serious medical problem and has high risks for other things going wrong , if a treatable cause is found the mental symptoms of delirium can take weeks to resolve and in some cases never fully go away. Ask for a review by liaison psychiatry or elderly care Dr, surgeons tend not to manage delirium in older people well.

Famalamaringwrong · 04/05/2019 17:15

Yeah I get that but people that occasionally take the odd paracetamol shouldn't be given tramadol just in case they're in pain in hospital. Happened to 3 members of my family made them all loopy, stopped tramadol switched to just basic paracetamol, pain fine and mad behaviour gone within a few hours.

Prequelle · 04/05/2019 17:17

I think the staff must see this quite often and they don't seem too worried
Yeah I'm a surgical ward/acute gyn nurse and we see it a lot. It's really distressing for family but the good thing is it always resolves. We also never tell the person the things they were doing and thankfully very few have any recollection

Fiveredbricks · 04/05/2019 17:18

Havent read tft but sounds like a water infection OP.

Prequelle · 04/05/2019 17:20

Yeah I get that but people that occasionally take the odd paracetamol shouldn't be given tramadol just in case they're in pain in hospital
You're right and I don't know any doctor and nurse that would just give out Tramadol willy nilly especially with it being a controlled drug. We follow the WHO Pain Ladder, things like paracetamol +/- brufen +/- adjuvent before going to anything stronger.

Toddlerteaplease · 04/05/2019 17:20

It could well be the pain killers. Especially if she's on OxyContin.

AmeriAnn · 04/05/2019 17:26

OP look up 'Hospital-acquired delirium in older adults'.

My dad had this. He believed the man in the next bed had stolen his jumper and told us a nurse threw him off the bed and started kicking him.

Soon as he was home he was back to his old-self.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/05/2019 17:27

Having had two big abdominal surgeries, in my experience morphine is the go to drug after paracetamol / cocodamol and ibuprofen because it is reasonably well tolerated in terms of allergies. Otoh medication like tramadol (which worked far better for me in terms of pain relief) is renowned for horrendous side effects.

Mummyoflittledragon · 04/05/2019 17:30

Oh and if she’s taken morphine that could be creating hallucinations. Although from my experience it took several days to get to that point but I was only taking 5ml 3/4 times a day. May have gone up to 10ml at some stage. I forget.

Summerontheway · 04/05/2019 17:32

Please keep on at the staff. My nan was in hospital after a procedure and all of a sudden was behaving exactly as you describe. We kept on at the staff that this wasnt normal for her. 3 days later they finally tested for UTI and by then it was too late. Full on sepsis had kicked in and we lost her. I know that sounds really dramatic and I dont mean to frighten you but please keep on at the staff that this isnt right for her.

AmeriAnn · 04/05/2019 17:33

In my above post I should have mentioned my dad didn't have an operation or pain meds. He underwent lots of tests and received blood transfusion, fluids via IV while there.

SweetestSugar · 04/05/2019 17:33

Have you asked the staff to check for a UTI? A lot of posters think it might be that.

Prequelle · 04/05/2019 17:34

Yes mummy, where I work we would typically go paracetamol - codeine and paracetamol- then if no relief breakthrough analgesia in the form of oromorph (oral morphine). Very rare we give tramadol unless the patient has come in on it already.

Prequelle · 04/05/2019 17:35

I can guarantee the first thing the ward nurses will have done is check for a UTI and done bloods. It's our bread and butter with a delirious patient.

Howyoualldoworkme · 04/05/2019 17:37

My father was taken into hospital for an infected gall bladder and developed a UTI on top of it.
He is the most cultured polite man you could imagine but under the influence of the infection he trashed a doctor's office!
My sister and I had our jaws on the floor when we heard.

Has she been checked yet?

simiisme · 04/05/2019 17:42

Almost certainly a UTI. My Mum was completely different when she had them. Older male relative had one - his wife thought he had suddenly developed dementia. Ask for a test

Ginger1982 · 04/05/2019 17:44

Most likely a UTI. My grandpa was like this. He was convinced the nurses were trying to kill him and that if he died I was to make sure there was an investigation!

QueenOfPain · 04/05/2019 17:51

Are you actually for real? Acute hospitals have vast Healthcare of the Older person directorates and specialist HOCP doctors.

Famalamaringwrong · 04/05/2019 17:58

That's not been my experience of tramadol with my family. Through various traumas it seems to be straight to tramadol even though they weren't complaining of much pain. My brother was in hospital for a couple of weeks and was acting so so weird doing odd things and being aggressive and withdrawn at the same time. My father is a retired nurse didn't realise he was on tramadol, had to fight the doctors to get him off it and he was fine,no pain at all!and totally back to normal within a day. Terrible drug.

BlueEyedPersephone · 04/05/2019 18:05

Infection/ pain meds can do this, unless it continues try to not take it to heart.
But do continue to flag the changes to the staff ... they do not know her 'normal' and therefore can be slow to treat an infection till it's taken hold.

Original poster
Beesinmybonnet · 04/05/2019 18:11

My sister has visited after me today. The nurse told her that the doctors think it's something to do with the anesthetic. They said her urine was clear.

Apparently she thought my sister's partner was there and kept saying how fat he was (thankfully he wasn't with her but god knows what she will come out with next). She's also been telling staff she's related to royalty. I've had no experience of dementia or anything similar previously but this has made me realize how awful it must be!

OP posts:
Fannydango · 04/05/2019 18:11

My grandmother behaved like this and it was suspected to be a urine infection but actually turned out to be a chest infection. She was acting like she was drunk! All sorted with antibiotics.

Purpleartichoke · 04/05/2019 18:12

The sleep deprivation of being in hospital is enough to cause delirium.

Spidey66 · 04/05/2019 18:22

I was quite bonkers just after my hysterectomy, dur to morphine and getting over the anesthetic. Plus as others have said, a UTI is common due to a catheter. ( I had one, though wasnt confused but it's common in older people. )

UCOinanOCG · 04/05/2019 18:29

I think the best way to with this might be to be mildly amused and see it as a blip. I am sure she will be slightly mortified when she feels better and realises how she was acting!