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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mum seems to have had a personality change after operation!

219 replies

Beesinmybonnet · 04/05/2019 14:24

I have posted on here before but have name changed for this.

My mum has just had major surgery. The surgery took place on Thursday and when I visited yesterday, all seemed to be fine. She was awake but quite sleepy. She is in her late 70s and has no dementia or other issues (so we thought).

I have just got back from the hospital now and from the moment I arrived there she was shouting at me and threatening to throw things at me. She appears to know who I am as she was calling me by name but she was very suspicious of me, telling the staff how awful I am and how she has had an awful life with all her children! She said we are scheming against her and want rid of her. She has three children and we all dote on her as she's always been such a loving, caring mum.

She is refusing her medication and food. She even grabbed the nurses lanyard at one point. I tried to give her a drink, she said I have probably poisoned it so there is no way she was drinking it.

I'm starting to think this must be what she really thinks of me. Can this happen after anesthetic? The staff reassured me this is quite normal, especially if someone has memory issues but she didn't have anything like this before the operation. I'm scared her 'true thoughts' must be coming out and she actually thinks we are all terrible children who want to harm her.

OP posts:
TooManyPaws · 04/05/2019 16:06

My father hallucinated when on morphine; after a hip replacement, he kept pointing out the fairies flying from one side of the room to the other.

CaptainMonteith · 04/05/2019 16:07

Post-operative confusion is common, especially in the elderly. Alcohol withdrawal, infection or a reaction to the anaesthetic are common reasons. It will pass.

Thisnamechanger · 04/05/2019 16:08

Was it heart surgery OP?

MyOtherProfile · 04/05/2019 16:10

How scary for you. Hope she gets back to normal soon.

User12879923378 · 04/05/2019 16:13

She might remember it. My dad had a period after the delirium where he was no longer having hallucinations but really struggled to believe that the ones that he HAD had weren't true. He got over it completely but his hallucinations were very vivid and felt very real to him.

category12 · 04/05/2019 16:14

My instant thought was urine infection.

Charlieandthechocolatecake · 04/05/2019 16:17

OP, I had an adverse reaction to GA. I was violent both verbally and physically afterwards. I was 20 at the time. I didn't recognise most people and those who I did barely recognise got the worst of me.

All the best x

Birdie6 · 04/05/2019 16:20

Doctors in acute hospitals often have no idea about older people . It sounds as if she has had a bad effect from the anesthetic - this is quite common in older people. You need to be her advocate - keep visiting and keep asking the doctors about any infections, whether she is dehydrated , whether her wound is healing. Hopefully she'll soon recover . Best wishes .

raviolidreaming · 04/05/2019 16:20

Sounds like she is delirious. As previous posters said they need to rule out causes such as infection

Major surgery in itself is a cause of delirium, which I strongly suspect this is.

Famalamaringwrong · 04/05/2019 16:23

OP

check for TRAMADOL it's a very strong painkiller. Get her off it straight away if shes on it - it makes most people go loopy I have no idea why they give it to people these days.

nakedscientist · 04/05/2019 16:23

Dehydration, urine infection, delirium are possibilities, as other Apps have said.

Tell the staff this is totally out of character and be very clear about this.

Original poster
Beesinmybonnet · 04/05/2019 16:23

This namechanger - it was heart surgery yes. Is it common after this type of surgery?

I think the staff must see this quite often and they don't seem too worried. They've all been excellent. I didn't quite know how to react whilst I was there but I'm hoping she will be more herself tomorrow.

They had tried to give her a drip but this is when she ended up pulling the nurses lanyard and also her top! This isn't like her at all. Thank you for all the kind words. This has made me realize just how lucky we are to have the NHS! The hospital also do this operation privately and they were telling me about the costs, I don't know how we would have afforded it.

OP posts:
Onecutefox · 04/05/2019 16:25

Oh, it doesn't sound good. I read not once that general anaesthetic can cause Alzheimer's later in life so people should stay away from it if they can.

The older the person when they had surgery the more likely they were to have a higher risk of dementia. The researchers suggested that older brains could be less resistant to damage caused by anaesthesia.

Onecutefox · 04/05/2019 16:27

Hopefully the effect is just short-term for your mum, OP.

www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/risk-factors-and-prevention/general-anaesthetics

Boomsk · 04/05/2019 16:27

Doctors in acute hospitals often have no idea about older people

Completely disagree with this statement.

Boomsk · 04/05/2019 16:30

OP Have you told any staff member yet that her behaviour is completely out of character?
They won't know whether this is her usual behaviour or not.

ChicCroissant · 04/05/2019 16:32

I hope your mother is improving OP, must be very distressing for you to see her like that Flowers

Can only echo all the other posters who have mentioned urine infections, please ask them to test if she doesn't improve in the next day or so.

Original poster
Beesinmybonnet · 04/05/2019 16:34

Boomsk - yes I have told them when they asked me whether she had a drink/drug/memory problem. I explained that she has a better memory than me and that she hasn't once been aggressive previously and would never say the things she's coming out with.

My sister has just been there and said my mum thought she was getting her hair done and that there was a man under the bed. Apparently the doctor thinks it's the anesthetic and it should wear off in the next day or two but can linger due to her age.

OP posts:
trollbuster · 04/05/2019 16:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Fuckedoffat48b · 04/05/2019 16:43

OP, a family friend hanged themselves in a post-operative psychotic episode. Please demand she get appropriate treatment.

zen1 · 04/05/2019 16:45

OP, this happened to a friends parent (also late 70s) after heart surgery. He became very paranoid and thought everyone was out to get him. He didn’t believe he was in a hospital and thought people were conspiring to cause him harm. He had no previous issues regarding memory / personality and was a gentle, kind man. Yet, he was shouting and being very rude to people. The doctors said it was a result of the anaesthetic and he was back to normal within a few days. Hopefully this will be the same for your mum.

Original poster
Beesinmybonnet · 04/05/2019 16:46

*uckedoffat48b - so sorry to read that. They have a student nurse sitting with her at all times at the moment.

trollbuster - thank you for that. I will make a note of those things to check when I visit her next and pass them onto other family members too.

OP posts:
Hollyhobbi · 04/05/2019 16:52

The poster who said they have no idea why Tramadol is given as a painkiller nowadays, not everyone can take other painkillers. I'm on Warfarin as I've had two DVTs. I also have sciatica and because of the Wafarin I can't take Brufen or anything like that.

MRSMARMITE3 · 04/05/2019 17:06

Sorry to hear this. My mum had a heart operation at the age of 70 and she then showed symptoms of dementia and had a personality change. However this was a year ago and they are still unsure if it's dementia or anxiety. My elderly Aunt had a urine infection when in hospital and went the same way but it wore off when she got treated. Fingers crossed it's a urine infection xx I can imagine it's very stressful for both her and you. Big hugs

Clarke45 · 04/05/2019 17:12

My nan had a similar 'episode' after a heart operation- she thought the nurses were trying to kill her and kept trying to get up in the middle of the night to escape and was swearing like a trooper! The next morning she was mortified and couldn't believe what she had done- it was the side effects of the medication and was back to normal the next day.