To getting annoyed when people say ‘you look well’

[MrsMaow]

I had my baby almost 6 months ago and I know (hope) it won’t be permanent but currently I look fat, exhausted, and my skin is somehow covered in spots and dry and flaky at the same time, just generally haggard. I do not look well.

I saw a few people today that I haven’t seen since DD was born and every single one of them said a variation of ‘you’re looking well’ - if this is me looking well what the fuck do they think I looked like before.

I think I probably ABU to be so annoyed but am I really?!

I used to be really thin as I've had a lot of health issues. I've now managed to put on weight but half the problems are still there. I feel like shit most of the time. Yet recently everyone from friends to doctors comment that I look well. I hate it. It feels like they are brushing everything aside with "well at least you're fatter".

I can totally get how people get "you look fat" from it because no one says it unless I can't squeeze into my clothes!

She's probably starting a thread right now SarahMontague about how you fat shamed her in front of other parents.

I say it a lot, especially when I haven’t seen someone for a while.

I thought it was a compliment!

It really doesn't mean that! I have never been fat in my life and people still say it to me.

I was genuinely touched when my GP said this at ds2's six week check because all the pp weight had fallen off .

I preferred 'you look well' to 'you're a fat, sleep deprived, greasy mess, and you have leaked on your top'.

Sindragosan

Who the hell takes 'you look well' as an insult? There literally is no pleasing some people.

I also got this alot when I first had my ds, I think people are trying to be nice, but I took it as you look fat!
I'm sure you don't look as bad as you think, but YANBU as I know how you feel.

They mean you have gained weight. They are not talking about your hair or skin. Unfortunately that is what this phrase means. I think it's a really rude thing to say. Mind you, I don't like people saying I look tired either!
If people think you are looking slim, or like your hair or clothes, they are usually more specific

When it's said to me, I take it to mean "you look better than can be expected given the circumstances" 🤣

When I say it to others though I genuinely mean it as a compliment, if someone looks healthy, natural and glowing.

I hardly think so iboro. She’s a very attractive, smart, well-bred (by that I mean positive, polite etc) kind of person.
And slim, yes.

Yes Rach I do too.

Eight o clock it doesn't...it really doesn't. J have no idea why people think this.

Maybe it’s also because I’m really self conscious about how I look at the moment, having lost 4.5 stone in the distant past and now regained almost 2 of them. Could just be because I’m fucking knackered and annoyed by not much at all nowadays.

Nice to know it’s not just me that feels the same about it though

I smiled and said thank you to everyone who said it to me, I’m not a total dick.

Exactly Sarah, I was being tongue in cheek as clearly everyone thinks looking well equals looking fat if this thread is to be believed.

I wonder if the same people who think 'you look well' means you look fat think that if you say a baby is bonny you're saying it looks fat.

In my neck of the woods neither of them mean that. The first means, you're looking well (if you were overweight it might mean you've lost a bit of weight, if you were underweight it might mean you've put on a bit - but what has changed is person dependant, it might even just be their attitude!), and the latter means your child is pretty / handsome / cute, but both are compliments.

@NottonightJosepheen I really think it depends on who says it. But I have noticed that some people only say that phrase to me when I have gained weight.

But this tweet shows that people say it as a polite way to compliment larger period.

Who are all the crazies on here. You look well means exactly that. I hope I have never inadvertently given any of you a compliment in real life coz who knows what you may have taken it as . Too funny.

Do you speak for everyone in the world eightoclock?

So you know what I mean better then I do, do you? How ridiculous

*some people say it as a polite way to compliment larger people

Yup, every one knows it's dick head code for "you've put on weight".

If it makes you feel better someone years ago "complimented" me on being jolly

Actually scrub that, I think everyone knows it's code for you've put on weight apart from my lovely neigbour who appears to think it actually means you look well. I still give her the side eye when she says it, but can't see even a glimmer of sarcasm there. 🤣

Jesus Christ - you can't bloody win these days can you - any compliment gets scrutinised and taken apart to mean something it's not. OP - get a hobby or something and stop making something out of nothing. And you wonder why people are scared to compliment others sometimes - you never know who you might offend!!