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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Why does MN hate baby showers?

308 replies

SnakesBarmitzvah · 02/05/2019 19:49

I’m curious.

I’ve read many comments about how gross and tacky they are. I don’t really get the big deal?

Also gender reveals.

OP posts:
BubblesBuddy · 04/05/2019 15:27

Well Meghan has arrived from the USA and she’s had her super extravagant baby shower. It’s definitely all about her! It’s definitely American! It’s definitely going to become more popular and yes, it’s definitely self centred and tacky!

Carpetburns · 04/05/2019 15:28

Grabby AF
Tempting fate

wheresmymojo · 04/05/2019 15:42

I don't know what baby showers people on here have been to - they sound nothing like the ones I've been to.

Firstly the ones I've been to have been organised for the mother to be, so it can't be 'grabby' as the mother herself hasn't invited people.

Secondly they've just been lovely relaxed get togethers at a close friends house with other close friends.

Yes, we take presents because we are close and I would have bought them a present anyway for such a major life moment (and no, they don't get another present after the birth).

The only thing I can see against them is the fact that some mothers may unfortunately have a stillbirth but that's pretty shit irrespective of whether you had a baby shower or not.

pinkgloves · 04/05/2019 17:01

"...the 3 things i'd bring from America are the weather, the food, and the friendly people.

I’m genuinely crying with laughter here.You cannot possibly be serious!

@SuperSara why are you crying with laughter? Why can she not be serious?

LaurieMarlow · 04/05/2019 17:04

the 3 things i'd bring from America are the weather, the food, and the friendly people.

This sounds pretty reasonable to me. No idea why it would provoke laughter.

DieselSucker · 04/05/2019 17:18

More useful than a baby shower should be a "Mummy Bath Party" after birth which literally would be allowing Mum having a relaxing bath while friends mind the new baby and do housework shores for her. I know which one I would prefer Grin

Xenia · 04/05/2019 17:48
  1. They are not British tradition.
  2. A pregnancy is a hope not a certainy and our first 24 hours are the time when we are most likely to die in life other than when we are an OAP. So you are tempting providence.
  3. They are about materialism and consumerism so inherently bad.
FiddlesticksAkimbo · 04/05/2019 17:52

Nothing will excite your friends and family more about your baby shower than being able to buy and then coo over, tiny baby booties or bibs.
etc etc, it gets worse Grin

www.motherandbaby.co.uk/amp/shopping-and-reviews/shopping-ideas/how-to-write-your-perfect-baby-shower-gift-list-plus-handy-gift-list-download

GreytExpectations · 04/05/2019 17:54

@badlydrawnperson
Maybe you shouldn't make incoherent claims of national supremacy on the internet like

You may want to reread the thread as it wasnt me who made the original claim...

GreytExpectations · 04/05/2019 17:57

Then I wouldn't be laughing so hard at your ridiculous and untrue assertion

Once again @badlydrawnperson you are making yourself look ridiculous as it WAS NOT ME who made the original assertion. I used caps to make it obvious, not to shout.

GreytExpectations · 04/05/2019 17:58

@SuperSara no, not joking. But obviously you are on the many "American hating brits" so i expect you being goady.

Buster72 · 04/05/2019 18:05

3 things i'd bring from America are the weather, the food, and the friendly people.

Tornadoes, corn dogs and trump supporters....

Baby showers are not new ,I recall them from my own childhood.

anxiousmotherof1 · 04/05/2019 18:41

Because is too american

pinkgloves · 04/05/2019 18:58

@Buster72 @SuperSara I have to say since moving to the States I find the weather a million times better (not many places in the States actually get tornados Hmm), the food WAY better and the people, well there are less judgemental, snobby assholes like there seems to be in the UK on this thread.

Closetbeanmuncher · 04/05/2019 19:06

Have nothing against baby showers but the whole gender reveal thing? Just no.

dreichuplands · 04/05/2019 19:31

The Midwest has lovely summers but goodness the winters are grim and last forever.
I'm not a huge fan of Midwest food either. It is okay.
The people are pretty like the U.K., a right mixture.
Other parts of the USA are going to be very different, it is a huge country.
Politically I don't think the UK can feel superior at present to be honest.

GreytExpectations · 04/05/2019 21:29

@Buster72 yes because all American people are Trump supporters, every dish is like corn dogs and the only weather you get is tornados Hmm

mathanxiety · 05/05/2019 08:18

I am beginning to think there is a strong element of misogyny to the British attitudes on display here.

So much tutting about attention and a party being all about the pregnant woman.

What is wrong with a pregnant woman being the centre of attention in a gathering of friends and family for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon or evening?

meditrina · 05/05/2019 08:25

What is wrong with a pregnant woman being the centre of attention in a gathering of friends and family for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon or evening?

Nothing whatsoever.

But not all parties are showers.

Remember shower = shower with gifts. It's a specific type of party, not a catch-all term for all parties during pregnancy. Just like a bridal shower isn't a hen party, and you can dislike bridal showers whilst loving other types of party.

So it might be misogynistic to do down all parties for pregnant women. But the thread isn't about that. It's about showers.

BarbarianMum · 05/05/2019 08:26

Sorry, but which weather would you bring from the States? The long freezing winters of Minnesota? Hurricanes from Florida? The 5 year drought (w firestorms) from California? Or are you keen to try living a tornado corridor?

Sarah242 · 05/05/2019 08:56

I’ve lived in a few states in the US and I’d take the weather there over the weather here. I even found midwestern winters better than the ones in the UK. Different people have different preferences, but I find the weather in the UK to be fairly miserable.

BarbarianMum · 05/05/2019 09:26

It is miserable yes, but the body count is reassuringly low.

lazymare · 05/05/2019 09:57

What is wrong with a pregnant woman being the centre of attention in a gathering of friends and family for a few hours on a Saturday afternoon or evening?

Absolutely nothing. But the World is groaning under the weight of 'stuff' because of consumerism. Most of it is unnecessary.

Mrsong · 05/05/2019 10:42

Look at me, pay me attention, bring me presents. Awful, grabby, tacky. And for those complaining about British women, I'm an Irish woman. It's still awful. And I agree, another godawful Americanism.

GreytExpectations · 05/05/2019 11:03

@BarbarianMum so you listed some weather in 3 states out of 50. Do you actually realise how big America is? I lived in multiple parts of America for the good part of 20 years and the worst ive experienced was the heat in summer but we had air con everywhere so it wasnt an issue. There are some seriously ignorant people on here at times.