Why does MN hate baby showers?

[SnakesBarmitzvah]

I’m curious.

I’ve read many comments about how gross and tacky they are. I don’t really get the big deal?

Also gender reveals.

@Catren did you not already have very thing you needed and the nursery all set up by the time you had the baby? I would be so stressed

Jesus Christ. God forbid we show anyone attention 🙈 are people this miserable in real life.

Every baby shower I've attended I've got the mum to be a gift ( bubble bath, face creams/masks/ pjs and slippers) instead of a present for the baby. So how is that grabby? I've then got the baby a gift when it's born and I've been round to meet them.

Also for the people saying about gender reveals "no one cares" anyone who's your family and friends "care" of course it's exciting to find out if its pink or blue. For instance if you was paying for your shopping in Tesco and you told the cashier that you'd just given birth the first thing they'd ask is "what did you have?" It's intriguing and exciting.

God I'm so glad I have normal friends and family.

Moochild, then why not ask after the baby has arrived safely? Or just bung them money in a card and tape in some silver for the baby?

nanny, it's a baby shower, presents for the baby. Why does it need a 'shower' for you to give presents to the mother?

I've been to US showers, and they are nothing like what I've heard of them here - pubs and meals out people have to pay for, plus gift, plus another expected after the baby arrives, parents throwing them for themselves, for 2nd, 3rd or more babies. 'Oh, I don't expect gifts', but that's what guests will do if you bill it as a baby shower.

Ditto weddings, there's no such thing as 'evening do's' or 'come the ceremony, then fuck off until the evening do and also give us money/fund our honeymoon'. They don't have 2-tiered guest lists.

@SihtricsHorseWitnere because parents might have all they need and want by then.

As it is I feel I would not have one and ask not to have one. Not because I don't like the idea but because I don't like to be seen as grabby or tacky. Me and fiancé will buy all that is needed ourselfs from clothes, to furniture, toys, anything to do with the baby so we can have full control as gift lists are frowned upon as well. I will explain to family and friends we don't want or need gifts so please not to bring anything for the baby once it is here. I they do insists then a voucher for a baby shop or money will be much appreciated. I don't see the point of having more items then are absolutely needed

I guess maybe I am just odd about the gift situation. I am very particular about what I like. So I do worry if someone insisted on getting a gift and asked how they would feel about I want this exact teddy/dummy/milk-bottle/bib/etc by this brand in that store in this colour in that size etc. I can only assume as gift lists are unwelcome me saying the exact gift I want would be frowned upon too

In my days it wasnt heard of, think we have all gone americanised. Baby Showers, Halloween, need i say more.

The US 'traditions' around babies and weddings are often focussed around the ability and expectation of guests to contribute.

Eh?

Ah Hallowe'en - that old Irish and Scottish and north of England tradition unknown in the Home Counties except from American TV and movies, so therefore American.

I had a bit of a thing about accepting gifts before DC was born, thought it might be bad luck.
I have been to an American baby shower, it was sweet and fun female afternoon. It changed my mind about them.

@dreichuplands I can see the bad luck point of view thinking about it

Iv lost a child in the third trimester. Did it put me off my baby shower for my twins? Nope. Obviously I can’t speak for everyone but I haven’t been to any that demanded extravagant gifts and made people watch them open them. It’s all been tea, drinks, cakes, snacks & games. It was lovely to get together and see everyone before the baby was born ☺️

I mean if you don’t enjoy or like them then just decline the invitations 🤷🏻‍♀️

Grabby and cringeworthy. But I don't like parties anyway, so I am probably not the best judge.

I didn't have one but god people are miserable and uncharitable.

I told my dh to tell his mum and sister very strongly not to throw me a baby shower when I was pregnant. They love throwing parties and I really don’t like fuss or being centre of attention. At the time it made me feel mean because I was ruining their fun.

Dh’s cousin who was pregnant at the same time as me did have one and this made it worse. I felt like I was the only pregnant person who didn’t want to go near a baby shower let alone have the starring role in one.

Now I’ve read this thread I can see that’s not the case!

I had never thought of one, but a good friend wanted to do a baby shower for me when I was having DD1. It was so thoughtful and lovely, and almost a year after I'd had my hen do! Was nice to get friends together in different circumstances.

moonchild I didn't have a nursery set up, just the basket in our room and the clothes and nappies dc needed etc. We didn't expect baby gifts before she was born but obviously bought the necessary things ourselves for the first month or so. We only really decorated her room once she was about to move in there at 6 months, maybe we're boring and mean but she didn't need the room then!

But the nursery is only a tiny part. The investment is before birth- car seat, pram, sleeping equipment, feeding equipment, lots of vests/ muslins/ babygros because they constantly sick or poo on them in the first 3 months. Everyone buys that stuff beforehand. If something awful happens it hardly matters that you own a infant car seat

Passthecherry i can't tell if you're being sarcastic? Obviously it would be awful having those things if something awful did happen. But (in my opinion) slightly less awful than the memories of a shower/ celebration and a room full of cute, fluffy baby clothes, toys and gifts that people had bought.

badlydrawnperson maybe you should read a history book before you make yourself look anymore ignorant?

Maybe you shouldn't make incoherent claims of national supremacy on the internet like

The Americans then went on to pretty much everything better than the British

Then I wouldn't be laughing so hard at your ridiculous and untrue assertion.

I’m not being sarcastic at all. It doesn’t seem particularly realistic, like worrying about a split fingernail whilst your arm has been severed

My sister had a baby shower (I detest them). My niece then died at birth. She was left with a box room full of baby gifts and no baby. I don't know why people can't wait until the baby is born before having gifts

I hate the whole idea of celebrating the new baby when there is a lot that can go wrong and does. Celebrate once the baby is safely in your arms. We are incredibly naive to assume all will be well. Presents should be only if the friend feels like it, and when the child is here.

...the 3 things i'd bring from America are the weather, the food, and the friendly people.

I’m genuinely crying with laughter here.

You cannot possibly be serious!?