Sister in law has upset me. Am i right to be angry?

[Warmhome]

I gave a dress to my neice nearly 3 years ago (it was my eldest girls and i was hoping it would be passed back for my yougest daughter) and it has been ruined, all of the tulle has been cut off. Do i have a right to be angry?

www.flickr.com/photos/157689245@N06/

Your use of the word 'gave' and not 'lent' suggests not.

Did you make it very clear that you wanted it back and it wasn't to be altered? If not YABU

You gave it away. You have no say what happens to it after that point.

Your pic doesn't work.

If you gave it to her then it’s hers to do as she pleases.

@Warmhome

Did you explicitly say that you wanted it back?

Was it for her to wear to a specific occasion or did you give it because you didn’t have any use for it at that particular time?

More information needed!

That's a shame :( it looks totally different now

Well honestly it depends on what you mean by ‘gave’. Was it on the condition she’d give it back or did you just assume? If she thought it was hers then it was hers to do with as she pleases. I can’t click the link, was it a ‘special’ type of dress (christening or similar?).

Yep, if you gave it to her then it was hers to do as she wanted.

This is why I don’t lend anything to anyone unless I don’t care if they give it back.

Chalk it down to experience

@Warmhome

All that being said, id be pissed off at the dress being ruined in that manner!

Little kids ruin clothes and it was 3 years ago, I'd let it go.

Looks different but perfectly wearable. Is it a party frock or for dressing up?

YABU. After 3 years did you really expect it would be in perfect condition? Did you tell her at the time that you would want it back? Passing on clothes is a risk with kids as there's a high possibility they will get worn, torn, spills etc. Don't give anymore away with the expectation of them being returned in the same condition.

OP, YABU. Really can't see why you're making such a fuss over a dress like that. Surely you can just add more tulle if it means that much to you?

Did she know you wanted it back? Was it a one time wear? Three years is a long time to wait if you wanted it back. It’s annoying but in future I wouldn’t lend unless you specify you want back by x date.

That's a shame, it was a pretty dress. You can see your name on the photo thing, just in case you didn't realise.

You gave it away... 3 years ago... Why would you even want that polyester rag back

I came on here thinking this would be something serious. Or potentially serious.

YABU
It was years ago. You can’t expect to give away kids clothes and for them to be returned in the same condition. You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Get over it and let it go

You gave it away and hoped it would be given back. Did you give it or lend it? Did you tell SIL that you would be wanting it back?

Anything that is precious you should keep for your youngest.
Don't "give" it to anyone.

Wow, 3 years ago, I think I’d have forgotten all about it by now! I think unless you expressly said you’d want it back for your younger daughter I would have assumed you didn’t want it any more so I’m sorry but I think you are BU. Best just let it go.

They’ve improved it in my opinion. Even if they hadn’t yabu if you gave it to them and didn’t specify ypu’d like it back in the future.

YABU it's a cheap dresssing up dress...I'm not sure how it lasted 6 months let alone years!

3 years ago! Unless you made it very clear that you were considering on asking for it back then YABU. Was your youngest even born then?