OP, I've gone through stages of drinking way way too much. When my mother was dying, I drank at least a bottle of wine a night for about a year. I was looking after her and my four year old at the time and she lived miles away and I was travelling for hours daily, and it was so goddamned stressful, it was the only thing that made me sleep. Then years later my husband left me with an ASD toddler and that was a massive shock. I didn't drink for ages because I knew if I started, I wouldn't stop but it crept up because again, I couldn't sleep and wine does have that affect on me but the fact I was in charge of this little person on my own probably stopped me from drinking myself to death. Because I would have. I probably drink too much now and am a bit of a weekend binger which is probably worse. I have got into the habit of only having wine on a Friday and Saturday and I never touch spirits, largely because I don't like them. The rest of the time I've got a huge library of different fruit/green teas, always sparkling water and fresh lemons on tap, Becks Blue is really good and makes a lovely alcohol free shandy and Sainsburys do a range of very good alcohol free wines which are perfectly palatable. Aldi do a really lovely very low alcohol wine at about 5% (and available in white, rose, red) which is very pleasant. Oh and Robinsons adult squash (lime and mint) makes a gorgeous refreshing drink with loads of ice and sparkling water. I realise and understand that you don't get the pissed feeling from any of that, and lets face it, that is the "nice" bit, however, if you're going to start cutting down then substituting some glasses with some of those I suggest will really help. I also do a lot of exercise (which is really good for the liver), make sure I drink at least 2 litres of water a day and during the week make up little HIIT routines when DS is in bed and use that time for some weights, planks, squats, that sort of thing. It's a good distraction after a stressful day and actually the endorphins are way better than any wine! To be honest, the last thing you'll want is a drink after that! My family is awash with alcoholics and I am aware I have to be careful because there is a very fine line. My Dad is 80, drinks at the very least a bottle of red wine a day, probably more, he's in amazing health EXCEPT for Alzheimers, it is quite possible his years of what he sees as "moderate" drinking might have had an affect. He never gets drunk, spaces it from lunchtime, always with food, through to bedtime and thinks that's perfectly fine. Indeed, it IS perfectly fine for him now he is in his twilight years, he is enjoying the life he has left while he can and has a very full life at that, but I personally think he's been very lucky to get away with it for as long as he has. You will get there, see if you can do no wine every other day at least, buy smaller glasses and half bottles (or the low alcohol stuff), then bigger gaps. Post back here when you're feeling weak. I hope your GP has also suggested that you address the issues that got you to this point in the first place...perhaps some counselling? Sorry, I didn't mean to post such an essay but your thread resonated and I really hope you can get back on an even keel really quickly....and be a fit, healthy mummy for your little un'. Good luck! 