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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To drink almost a bottle of wine everynight

397 replies

Mum21beauty · 30/04/2019 21:30

I am not reliant on it . I just enjoy it every night though ...

OP posts:
mononokeswolf · 01/05/2019 10:48

Thanks to you OP, that's brilliant. Any negative physical effects your drinking has had so far on your liver will be easy to reverse at the point, it is an organ with amazing regenerative abilities.

I am a child of an alcoholic, it is awful. You are doing a wonderful thing for your daughter, and yourself of course. Thanks

SpamChaudFroid · 01/05/2019 10:55

That's awesome OP, respect to you. Smile

loveonthewall · 01/05/2019 10:56

Bloody well done OP! It's not an easy situation to face up to. Get support and encouragement everywhere you can x

YouBumder · 01/05/2019 10:57

Good for you OP. Ignore the people trying to label you an “alcoholic”, even AA don’t do that as they say the only person who can tell you you’re an alcoholic is you, no one else. However, it seems clear you have a problem with alcohol and at least some form of psychological dependence. From what you’ve said I doubt you’re physically dependent which is good news. I hope the dr can sign post you to sources of help but the brave babes threads on here, the various quit lit referred to and Club Soda are good.

And most of all don’t be ashamed. You’re human and have succumbed to a human weakness, that is all. You can fix it and turn it around.

goose1964 · 01/05/2019 11:07

The UK has the lowest safe drinking levels in the world, along with Iceland. Most countries say 10-16g (UK is 8g)and Austria is 20g.

Lifeonmars77 · 01/05/2019 11:15

There are some wonderful books out there to read, This Naked Mind is great for changing the way you think about alcohol. The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober is really inspiring, as is The Sober Diaries. All women just like you and me, who have found they need to change their relationship with alcohol. 'Alcoholic' isn't a helpful label to use, in fact there needn't be a label at all. You are just someone who wants to address their use of alcohol after recognising an unhealthy pattern, this should be commended... there is certainly no shame in it. Anyone who thinks there is needs to look at themselves rather than judge others.

I was exactly the same as you, in fact it got even worse before it got better so kudos to you for taking action now.

There is a really good private FB group called Club Soda Together, it's full of people with similar experiences and is so supportive.

Best of luck to you Flowers

lookingelsewhere · 01/05/2019 11:18

Great news, OP Star You have taken a brave step and I wish you well for the future.

pointythings · 01/05/2019 11:30

Well done, OP. I reckon you will find a balance between enjoying a drink and managing your stress sensibly, and you'll be the better for it. Flowers

slashlover · 01/05/2019 11:32

The UK has the lowest safe drinking levels in the world, along with Iceland. Most countries say 10-16g (UK is 8g)and Austria is 20g.

That's what they call a 'standard drink' and nothing to do with safe drinking levels. According to IARD the levels seem to be between 10g and 20g per day for women, the UK is listed as 112g per week.

Dungeondragon15 · 01/05/2019 11:38

The UK has the lowest safe drinking levels in the world, along with Iceland. Most countries say 10-16g (UK is 8g)and Austria is 20g.

I'm not sure what you mean. 8 g is one unit.

Coffeeandcrumpets · 01/05/2019 11:42

Best of luck for your appointment today. What a wonderful step you've made. I'd recommend just take each day as it comes. Baby steps. Let us know how you get on.

NurseButtercup · 01/05/2019 11:50

I came on to suggest you look up Adrian Chiles documentary from last year "Drinkers Like Me". It was on BBC iPlayer, you will probably be able to find it on YouTube. It's a very humbling, eye-opening documentary.

Glad that you've responded positively to the comments on here Flowers

Aberforthsgoat · 01/05/2019 11:58

@mum21beauty great step, well done! :)

IVFNewbie · 01/05/2019 11:59

You're an alcoholic

Wolfiefan · 01/05/2019 12:00

Good luck today OP. I agree with the others who say alcoholic is a pretty useless label. It’s about your relationship with drink. Wishing you a brighter and healthier future. Flowers

Original poster
Mum21beauty · 01/05/2019 12:02

what is the need ? I have been labelled this all through out this, post. Did you feel the need to do it again ?

OP posts:
YouBumder · 01/05/2019 12:04

You're an alcoholic

Wow, thank you for that intelligent, insightful comment. How did we manage without your amazing contribution to the thread?

OP, ignore the idiot.

ReleaseTheBats · 01/05/2019 12:08

Good luck OP Flowers

Original poster
Mum21beauty · 01/05/2019 12:11

Thank you for all lovely messages x

OP posts:
NicoAndTheNiners · 01/05/2019 12:13

As a health care professional I've seen people in their 40s die of liver cirrhosis with similar amounts over a prolonged period of time. Believe me, it's enough to put you off your chardonnay.

And I agree with the previous poster that says people posting about how they can drink large amounts and not be tipsy/not have a hangover just means they're drinking so much/frequently that they've built up a tolerance to it. Which is worrying.

I got hit by a drunk driver who was 4x over the limit. She'd driven 7 miles before hitting my car. I wouldn't have been able to stand up if I was 4x over the limit. The police said the fact that she could stand, etc made them believe she had quite a bad alcohol problem. Sure enough in court she said the crash had made her realise that she had a problem and had been drinking every night for months/years.

OP, go and see your GP. Be truthful about how much alcohol you drink, that you don't think it's a problem, etc and see what they say. If you're right then you have nothing to worry about. If you're wrong (and I very much think you are) they will be able to help.

lookingelsewhere · 01/05/2019 12:20

Please remember, OP, that if you decide to give up you don't have to just suffer stress/anxiety. There are many techniques and strategies to help with that. My sibling made the mistake of trying to give up, but struggling with the issues she had been drinking to help alleviate, so her abstinences didn't stick. Mention underlying issues you have to your GP.

Sorry to be so bossy, but my heart's in the right place, honest Smile

ChipsAreLife · 01/05/2019 13:25

Ah well done OP! Don't be embarrassed so many of us have shared we have had issues with alcohol. It's very easily done but I guarantee when you take back control you will feel so much better and probably less stressed.

Good luck!

ShatnersWig · 01/05/2019 13:29

@IVFNewbie And you're a moron

CatelynStark · 01/05/2019 13:38

Well done, OP Flowers

Drum2018 · 01/05/2019 13:47

Op have a read of the Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley - habit drinker at home, usual stressed out etc. The book documents her first year off alcohol. You will probably see parts of yourself in it. I read it over a year after I gave up. I joined a Facebook group to quit. It was a free one at the time but they now charge a fee, but I'm sure you can find other helpful groups. I'm 2 and half years off it now and while I can't say I'll never drink again, for now I am happy sober. Do it for your health (physical and emotional), your relationship and your child. I won't promise it'll be easy - it won't - but it can definitely be done. Good luck with gp. While they may take bloods, the liver function test can still come back ok, whereas a scan may show a different picture (as per Adrian Chiles documentary).But you probably won't need to go that far with tests anyway. Admitting the issue is a massive step. Hopefully your Dh and family will be supportive. Telling people you are not drinking can be awkward, but fuck them, it's your life and you are the only one who can truly look after it.