To drink almost a bottle of wine everynight

[Mum21beauty]

I am not reliant on it . I just enjoy it every night though ...

My stepfather was an alcoholic, he was in charge of a sea faring transport system. Now as an adult I shudder at all those lives he may have put at risk. He died at 49, related to alcohol.

I am an exceedingly light drinker, just a half a dozen times a year on that MN way that is criticised by drinkers. But that is directly linked to having a childhood blighted by alcoholism as I saw lack of money, arguing and his early death meant my Mother lost her mind totally and I was her carer at 13. No one knew but us the immediate family in the very beautiful large house we lived in.

But my younger sister is now an alcoholic like him, she is his child genetically. I did try speaking to her about it a couple of times and at one point she did acknowledge it a little. The last time she came to my house she drank a bottle of wine before we went out, she must have drunk double the amount I did when we were out. This is about six years ago. She was 41 then. I last saw her at our Mothers funeral almost a year ago. She was an incredibly beautiful woman but the amount of alcohol has absolutely ravaged her body and her decline in her forties is shocking to see. I wonder if she will die young like her Father.

Remember the effect drinking has on dc, I am puritanical about alcohol but what I llived through scared me and scarred me to this day.

I really don't know what the armchair physicians who can diagnose alcoholism over the internet and even worse puritanical arseaches who seem to enjoy a pile on get out of the finger wagging they've given the op

Lol this must be the least self aware, most ironic post I've seen. You've come on just to wag your finger and insult people. For em, people wagging their finger.

Gotta love it 🤣

@Bluntness100 Beat me to it.

I'm 29 years old and up until 3 months ago had been having a least a bottle of wine a night.

I'd wait until dinner was over and settle down, and like you - I found it help me relax and I'd go off to bed. I start work early and was functioning well, so I refused to admit to myself of anyone else that it was a problem.

I had a bit of a wake up call and I cut it out completely. I found there was a certain time of day that I'd reach for it - and just make sure there's something else there, like a herbal tea or something sugary. I actually can't believe I don't miss it - having 'relied' on it for 10 years.

I got a blood test done shortly after I stopped and I was shocked at the damage I had done to my liver. I'm 3 months on and my liver is back to normal and I'm getting help and I know it's cliché but I have never felt better.

Also, asking for help is nothing to be ashamed of so don't be afraid to ask - and a blood test might be no harm to test your liver function - my doctor reckons all women should be getting them!

From a health perspective, and ignoring rhe liver damage, tooth staining and so on, that is a lot of empty calories.

If you keep it up you probably will pile on the weight.

I'm not reliant on it because if I was i would want it in the day and morning but I don't

I'm afraid that's not true, OP. I say this as someone who had a binge-drinking alcoholic grandfather. He could go SIX MONTHS without a drink. He was still an alcoholic.

Do one of those online Am I an Alcoholic? quizzes - you might be surprised.

Please don't let this go on much longer. Turn this around while you still can and I mean that most sincerely (I have a relative with a brain injury in her 40s sustained as a direct result of her alcoholism which was minimised).

Btw congrats to all the women on here who posted about their success with going sober. Inspirational stuff.

As you know, you are drinking far too much at the moment OP and it very probably is causing some liver damage. I take drugs (for a chronic health condition) that can cause liver damage and consequently I have liver tests very frequently and it is quite scary sometimes to see the effect on the liver. I could never take it for granted.

It would be a good idea to stop drinking altogether for a while because you will feel a lot healthier and you need to give your liver a rest. You will probably find it difficult at first but it gets easier. I can't drink alcohol at all nowadays but I have got used to drinking non-alcoholic wine/beer at the end of the day which tastes alright. It may not be the same as the real thing but I quite like the "ritual" of it.

OP, can I ask why you posted this?

You must have known people would say all these things. Is there part of you that wanted that? I just wonder if deep down you know sow things not right so your second checking.

Apologies, but i haven't rtwt so this may have been suggested previously. I went through a stage of drinking a lot. Decided it can't be healthy and limit my intake to 14 units a week... Occasionally 20. How about drinking every other night? Just for your own health and prove you're on control, not the drink. Apologies as that's probably been suggested.

@Mum21beauty

I know you are looking for constructive advice. There are some fab facebook pages dedicated to people who want to reduce or quit. I think they will be a great inspiration to you. Also, look a Kate Moss - she has almost quit and is still cool and having a blast.

I would advise you to seek out a good support network locally or on social media - my friend did this last year to quit and has now been 18 months sober.

Also the alcohol quit chat group on here will be supportive. And Christa D'Souza wrote an excellent article in the Guardian Red Magazine or somewhere (maybe the awful Daily M) about people like her and Kate Moss and Sadie Frost quitting. She lists a number of great books.

There are some other inspirational books written by women that you can google.

I hope this helps. It is worth doing, I say this as the adult child of a recovered alcoholic.

This is how I ended up putting 3 stone on whilst at uni.

Op I get it I do, you like it so you do it. But you also mention because of stress. If you're using it as a method to relieve stress everyday that isn't good. You're reliant on a poison to make you feel better.

And either way addicted or not, your body is going to hate you for it.

You are drinking excessively every single day. How is that not problem drinking?

I'm a recovering alcoholic - it's a genetic thing for me, alcoholism doesn't run in my family, it fucking sprints. I was a very heavy drinker for 15 solid years, mostly functioning, until I wasn't.

I quit cold turkey many times (unbelievably dangerous - alcohol withdrawal is the only form of substance withdrawal that can actually kill you), and that put me in seizure territory. I was hospitalised twice for medical detox, following withdrawal seizures.

The amount you're drinking isn't a joke. You're walking a tightrope here.

Sounds like my Mum. Didn’t drink during the day. 4PM on the wine, father on the beer.

She’s 59 he’s 60, he had a massive stroke due to alcoholism and stress, she weighs 6.5 stone from drinking and smoking she had one cuppa soup a day with her wine and cigs. Her brain is that of a 85+ year old due to alcohol related dementia. My Dad is in a wheelchair and now disabled with no use of left arm, but they weren’t typical on the bench drunks. It’s great fun for your children (me and my brother) having to deal with all their issues and care for their parents (our grandma parents). It has an effect on your children later in life when they are having or trying to have their own lives.

It sounds like you’re aware it’s becoming more than a help to relax, seriously there’s nothing wrong with letting your hair down or having a drink but don’t let it ruin your life

Hey it is because of these replies that I've made an emergency appointment with my doctors today to tackle my inner issues that are making me want to drink. Something has to change so I thank you all for all the comments and advice I really do

Thinking of you OP. It is a hard thing to face up to, but I found recognising what I was doing was making my life miserable and wanting to change was the hardest part. Try and give it a few weeks, find something else to relieve the stress if you can, and I hope you will feel so much better.

“How many of the holier than thou people saying how disgusting it is eat macdonalds, KFC, cola, aspartame laden squashes, cheap Iceland ready meals, sugar laden doughnuts, cakes etc”

Sorry not sure who posted this, took the quote from a PP’s reply. When did caring about your health become being holier than though 😳

Don’t do any of those things, 2 exceptions, McDonald’s grilled sweet chilli chicken wrap when we have to eat at service stations, don’t think I’ve ever been in a KFC (the smell 🤮) and share a bottle of red with my husband, Friday and Saturday nights. Don’t eat ready meals (except fish fingers once in a blue moon 😊), drink fizzy drinks and if I occasionally fancy a sweet tea or coffee I have a spoonful of honey. Aspartame tastes revolving.

I want to live a long time. Some things can’t be helped, I had cancer a few years ago, not my fault far as I know. But some things can be helped. Not everyone who smokes, eats badly or drinks to excess, as OP does, will die from it, but lots will. So I’m doing my best to avoid being ill again by controlling what I can

Don’t think that telling someone they’re possibly killing themselves and to take it easy is holier than though. If the person who said that really thinks it is, maybe they need to review their habits too.

Good luck OP

You’re doing amazingly to even realise and admit your problem. Now you’re getting help and that’s really wonderful to hear.

Work stress is fucking awful

@Mum21beauty Fair play to you - I read the first page where you were quite defensive, and now your latest post where you are seeking help. Well done for taking on board the advice given, so many wouldn't have done. I think by even starting this thread you knew there was an issue, but it is very hard to admit.
You have made the first incredible step and I wish you all the luck in the world getting the help you are asking for and getting support in the issues you are facing.

Well done OP that’s a brilliant step towards changing thing.

I found understanding the health risks, particularly the increase in breast cancer risk, helpful in cutting down on alcohol.

Well done OP. Great step. I also drink too much, around 40 units per week at home, more on weeks which include a rare night out. I tracked the units on an app for a while it it was quite an eye opener. I usually have a cuppa when I get in and then a glass of wine, usually a second and occasionally a third. My classes are 3-4 to a bottle. I regularly try to cut back, but soon slip back into old habits. My current tactic is to keep none in the house - I have to really want it to make the effort to go out. I drank a bottle on Sunday but have now managed a dry Monday and Tuesday. My goal is to drink under 20 units and have at least 2 nights off a week.

I drink to relax and destress. So long as I drink no more than a bottle I never feel tipsy or have a hangover. I stop sufficiently early to not worry about driving the next day so will eat while cooking, eating and then stop by 9. I usually have herbal tea before bed or a glass of water. I am a single mum and still struggling with the breakdown of my marriage (it has been almost a year ago) so keep hoping that things will get easier once all the ‘firsts’ are out of the way, although there is still much to sort out. I am concerned about health, weight/calories and cost but it seems not enough to stop. My recent liver function test was normal.

I have ordered the Allen Carr book. Thank you to those who recommended it. I will give that a whirl.