SAHM would you expect them to do all housework/childcare?

[NotReadyForThisX2]

And am I being unreasonable in not doing so?
This is from a comment from someone today and I was curious if you expect a sahm or sahd to do all or the vast majority of the housework and childcare. Obviously the stay at home parent would do all childcare while the other parent worked but once they were home it would be spilt, wouldn't it? Same with housework.

Why the face?

I don’t think any of this matters.

Yes the one at home should do all the cleaning and childcare. I wouldn’t do it 24/7 though, just whenever your partner is working.

When I was a SAHM for small children, I did do all the house stuff. Because I wanted my children’s dad to concentrate on parenting them and giving me some free time when he was home. I would a million times rather he played with the children than hoovered!

SAHP isn't the same as housewife

Both are just titles, they mean the same thing really ie someone with no job,

The face is because to me 'SAHP' is just a rebranding of 'housewife'.

How are you 'doing things with your child' when you're watching Netflix or reading? It's when he's napping or feeding @arethereanyleftatall

Well a nanny wouldn't be expected to do any non child related housework because it would negatively affect her care of the child.
If someone thinks its ok to burden the SAHP with two jobs, i.e. childcare, cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands etc that child is being brought up by the cleaner not by its mother.
So totally unreasonable for the out to work parent to expect to never lift a finger at home.

If you want to revert back to the 1950s then that's up to you. A SAHM is looking after their children surely?

But I'm sure on here you will get the MN Perfect Parent brigade who will tell you that you should run round like the perfect wife doing it all!

Yes that's a big part of the reason why we've kept the split similar as we had before Ds @IndianaJonesAndTheTempleOfDoom. Plus I'm pregnant and still breastfeeding Ds so I am more tired than usually and once the second baby arrives I'll have a newborn and a one year old. I definitely don't want Dp getting used to me doing everything and still expecting it then.

After reading a lot of the posts today, I thought right when Ds naps I'll do some cleaning. House is looking clean so I thought I know I'll do the inside of the windows, not something I do often so they'll need doing. I preceded to clean all the up and downstairs windows on the inside (except Ds's room he was asleep in). Dp gets home and I told him I'd cleaned all the windows, he looks at me funny and asks why? Turns out he did them last Friday when he got home from work early. I did think they didn't seem particularly dirty 🤦🏼‍♀️

@NotReadyForThisX2
I get that. I did a lot of it when I was on mat leave too! But my point was; you can't argue that 'mat leave is all about spending 100% of the time with your child, not doing housework' whilst simultaneously saying 'I watch Netflix whilst he naps.' You can't have it both ways. Most people are saying that the person at home has plenty of time to do all the housework whilst the child naps (important) or plays independently (also important), whilst still spending plenty of time with their child.
By watching Netflix whilst your child sleeps and your dh works, this means that when you're dh comes home there is still chores to be done so less family time. That's entirely up to you guys if that's what you're all happy with, but others make different decisions.

I'm a SAHP. Until recently, I used to do most of the housework during DD's nap. But naps have recently stopped and DD is not good at playing independently yet so the only thing I manage most daytimes is to put a load of laundry on.

Thanks to CBeebies, I also cook tea and have it on the table when DP comes in just after 5!so we can all eat together.

After tea, DP plays with DD while I get some housework done. If there are any chores left after she's gone to bed, we share them. At the weekend, we divide and conquer so one person will be looking after DD, the other person doing gardening or whatever. (I am aware I have a v useful DP!)

When DD starts nursery in the autumn I will have more time in the day and hope to be able to do a lot more during DP's working hours so we can both have more free time.

I do the small pottering jobs though @arethereanyleftatall. That's what I'd expect a sahm to be doing, stuff with the baby/children, putting a wash on/to dry, putting stuff away, making lunches, cleaning up from lunches. All the day to day stuff. I'll run the vac round and do the dusting, but the 'big clean' stuff we still spilt on a weekend or evenings.

I sometimes think I could do the ironing for him, but he says he quite enjoys it and I hate it. Plus he'll only have to start it again when I'm back at work, so why mess with a good thing. I put all the non ironing stuff away, even his pants and socks.