Breastfeeding: Only Middle Class Now?

[redbedheadd]

Was debating this with my DP - he is of the belief that breastfeeding is a mainly a middle class thing. I'm not sure if I agree, wanted other opinions.

We live in a very MC/posh area of London and I'd say 90% of mums at my Baby classes BF. This is his evidence.

We both grew up in working class environments - him in a council estate in London where no-one breastfed and me in a Northern town where is was normal to BF.

So.... thoughts?

battenburg your post really struck a chord with me. I’ve never told anyone this but this same thing happened to me - only I didn’t lie and had to stay on the ward for a couple of nights.
I asked after he was born how often to feed and should I wake him up in the night to feed. The advice was ‘every 3 to 4hours’ and not to worry too much if he didn’t feed at night. I was exhausted from the labour and set my alarm to every 3 hours. When I woke in the night to feed him, he wouldn’t latch but I was so tired I went back to sleep. The next day, he had urates in his nappy so they wouldn’t let us leave. The second night was a very low point for me. I had zero sleep and remember holding him on my lap and begging him with desperation to latch on and feed while he just wailed and wailed. It was awful. He eventually fed enough in front off the midwife for me to leave the next day. I continued to have problems at home and was very stressed and anxious trying to establish feeding. I was lucky to have a drop in centre nearby to go to for advice and my problem was a simple one to fix. I’m still breastfeeding 18 months later... but that second night will stay with me forever. I have a lot of regrets about his first two days of life.

@ethelfleda I remember on night three putting my baby to my damaged breast weeping with fear and exhaustion begging her to stop hurting me your post took me right back to the misery and shame and the dread I was going to fail to do this thing I so desperately needed to do. I still have regrets I was in such a bad way for so much of th early weeks and so grateful I eventually got the support I needed to carry on and achieve my breastfeeding goal.

I don't think anyone thinks enough support will mean everyone bfs... Plenty of mothers never even plan to bf and have no desire to do do. But most do want to, most initiate... I doubt very much whether the vast majority of those who discontinue in the early days are happy with that outcome, or that in all those cases support could not have helped. Until our rates are more in line with the rest of Europe, we have to assume there is something about our culture which is letting (some/most) mothers down when it comes to bf.

Redbedhead has it exactly.
The message that BF only hurts if you are doing it wrong is so counter-productive!
I gave it a month with my first baby and promised myself I'd give up then if it was still uncomfortable. It did take most of that month for it to become worth it!
It really did hurt for the first few weeks even though it was "normal" ie no diagnosable problems.
I'd advise any 1st time mum to persevere for a month. By then it was so much easier. I have had 3 kids and BF for a total of over 4 years between them all.
I could hang weights off my nips now with no ill effects they are so tough but it takes time!!!

I think it's sad that people have to continually question this. The NHS makes all mums fully aware that breast is best regardless of income or social status etc. Fed is best and each woman will have her own reasons for the choice she makes. End of.

I've noticed a lot more young, working class, trendy mums BF now. Late teens/early 20's. The gals you see in insta with all the make up and balenciaga trainers.
I think it's becoming really cool.

Women who 10 years ago wouldn't dream of it are now choosing to BF.

That's just what I've noticed in my area anyhow.

Affluent part of the West Midlands here and almost everyone I know bf. I chose for FF and it was like it was seen as so shocking. I'm always confused when I'm told by rates are so low as I never knew anyone who FF other than me!

I lived in a middle class suburb of a city when I had dd1 and now live in a small, more working class town with dd2. Definitely felt like there were more breastfeeding mums with dd2. I think round here I might be seen as a bit of an oddity for ebf and waiting til 6 months to wean! (Lots of baby rice and baby porridge at 4 months.)

@neoshaz

But often mums feel they had no choice! You wouldn't believe the number of bf threads I've been on where women tell me they had to stop because their milk didn't come in so they went onto formula on day 3 (milk can take time to come in, normal) or their newborn was feeding every hour so obviously wasn't getting enough (frequent and cluster feeding is completely normal), that they were doing well but then their breasts stopped "filling up" so they knew their supply had dipped (engorgement is temporary while supply establishes, not getting engorged any more doesn't mean you no longer have enough milk), they got mastitis so were told they had to stop bf (the best thing for mastitis is to feed through it to shift the infection), they needed to take a medication they were told was incompatible with bf (plenty of meds issue a blanket ban on bf while taking purely to cover their arses even if it is completely safe, BFN do a lot of good research on this, GPs by and large don't have a clue)....

I have no problem with a woman chossing FF. In some circumstances I would probay choose it myself. What I have a massive problem with is the number of women who desperately wanted to bf, but didn't because they received no or plain wrong information and support to help them through the challenging but totally normal issues of the early weeks, who then harbour feelings of disappointment and guilt, and spread the incorrect info they were given to other mothers because they are hugely emotionally invested in believing it was true they COULDN'T have breastfed (understandably!).

Couldn't agree more with that last post. Could have written it myself! Hear hear haha

Agree with Namestjeuarechangin, I think a mythbusting campaign from the NHS would be better than just lecturing women about the health benefits

Telling people about the benefits of bf is hardly 'lecturing'

It definitpely feels like a lecture and given our low rates it's one that's failing

@Namestheyareachangin

‘I have no problem with women choosing FF. In some circumstances I would probably choose it myself’

I wish more mothers at baby groups were like you. I’ve actually made excuses and left before feed time, because of the comments I’ve had previously when I get a bottle out.

I agree with the one about gp’s giving bad advice re meds. I was still happily bf’ing ds2 at just under 12 months when I got a severe ear infection. I was told I couldn’t bf with the antibiotics. By the time I found out the advice was wrong I had already stopped. I was actually really depressed about it for a while, and really wish I could have continued until both me and ds were ready.

That’s interesting UterusUterusGhali, there’s certainly much more in the media about celebrities breastfeeding and some beautiful photos of them doing it on photo shoots, film sets etc. There was a thing on buzzfeed just yesterday of an actress from Game of Thrones feeding her baby on set in her costume and full make up. “Mother feeds baby” isn’t big news but she makes it look achievable and normal.

I had my 6 week check up this morning, rural mc area, and the doctor was very surprised I’m exclusively breastfeeding. I’ve had an infection in my CS scar and had to tell the GP I saw last week I was bf when she was deciding which antibiotic to give me as she assumed I was ff.