Breastfeeding: Only Middle Class Now?

[redbedheadd]

Was debating this with my DP - he is of the belief that breastfeeding is a mainly a middle class thing. I'm not sure if I agree, wanted other opinions.

We live in a very MC/posh area of London and I'd say 90% of mums at my Baby classes BF. This is his evidence.

We both grew up in working class environments - him in a council estate in London where no-one breastfed and me in a Northern town where is was normal to BF.

So.... thoughts?

@maligucent7

Who made you feel it wasn’t valid?

I’m really perplexed by women who feel guilty about ff. I never felt judged; not by gp, not by midwives, not by HV, not by other mums.

I feel I was very lucky or perhaps completely unaware of how disapproving of me people were.

Ive never needed a partner to be 'supportive' of breast feeding. They're my breasts.

I also find that from everyone I know, it's the middle class who are most likely to breast feed.

As an earlier poster said, it's more a race thing too. I have been massively judged and questioned by quite a few non-white mothers (all very close to me) who just could comprehend why I wasn't breast feeding.

I can see that to some extent, that if a DH thinks it's normal he's more likely to be supportive.

They are my breasts vulpine but they’re also my arms which get tired sometimes and my stomach which rumbles when I’m stuck on the sofa with her attached to me so while I’d cope without a support husband, and do when he’s at work all day, it’s lovely that he brings me food, leaves snacks around the house, hands me muslins when I’ve forgotten to get one and she’s dribbling or puking.

He was also a strong advocate for me when her weight dropped as my milk was late coming in after a traumatic EMCS and I was getting shit from a wanker doctor who wanted me to stop breastfeeding and stick a bottle in her. (My milk came in that day and her weight shot back up so I’m glad I didn’t give in to being bullied...)

It’s not essential but it’s supportive and makes life easier.

I don't know why people are so determined to 'prove' that either BFing or FFing are more convenient - it massively depends on the baby, and also at different ages for the same baby. As a newborn I am certain I would have spent much less time feeding DS if he'd been FF. Between about 2 and 5 months it was v, v convenient and worked very well. At around 5 months he became v difficult to feed - would only feed well in a dim, boring space, which basically meant he barely fed in the day but fed all night. At around 6 months I went back to work so he started having regular bottles and he developed a massive preference for them because he could drink and look around. We then found FFing massively more convenient than the battle that BFing had become. This was the end of feeding altogether, but I notice my friends who BF (many of whom also found around 6 months hard, despite people saying all the hard work is over then) are now entering another v convenient period where they BF just morning and evening and find it a lovely snuggly time with babies who are not generally calm or still at the moment (they're all around 10/11 months), and I do wonder if I'd be having that now with DS if I'd stuck it out. But anyway, my point is, it is not a 'one is categorically easier than the other' thing, there are a lot of variables, even over the infancy of the same child.

AnneLoves Gilbert I agree with a lot of your post but do you really need to use judgmental expressions like “stick a bottle in her” to describe FF? FWIW my DS couldn’t latch to begin with and was at risk of dehydration so was cup fed formula for the first couple of days of his life, then BF successfully for many months after that.

I was 22, single parent, low income, and breastfed my DS until he was 4. My own mother breastfed for a few months.

I wanted to breastfeed for at least 2 years, but decided that I was going to make it to a minimum of 6 weeks even if it was difficult (on my end, I would have used formula if my baby needed it). He had a tongue tie but outgrew any difficulties with breastfeeding by 10 weeks and his growth was fine.

For sheer convenience it's hard to beat
If you find it easy to breastfeed this is true. If you don't it really is not the case.

I think blanket statements don't help. I remember reading one mum who had persevered with breastfeeding despite struggling saying she laughed hollowly when she read an advantage of breastfeeding was it was free. She said she spent a fortune on lactation consultants.

i live on a council estate in the midlands and i don’t know anyone who has breast fed! i had my first child at 15 and breast fed until he was around 3, also breast fed my other son till that age and probably will do the same with my daughter. none of my family have breast fed and neither have any of my friends or my sister’s friends.

My DP's support was invaluable.
He helped with positioning DD to try and get her to latch, took notes when lactation consultant was round, took DD and fed her when she got so angry at my boob she was hysterical and I was upset too, encouraged me to keep trying to get her to latch every day (and was almost as delighted as me when at six weeks she suddenly did!) Without him I wouldn't have persevered. That's aside from all the domestic stuff he does, bringing me snacks and drinks, making sure all my pump parts are clean and ready for overnight.

It seems rare (though not unheard of as this thread shows) - that a mum will BF if all the women in her family are very pro FF.

I think this is true to an extent, but the age of the mum comes into it too. As I said in a previous post, I’m from a very pro ff family where no one bf since my Nan until me. Up until the age of around 26/27 I always said I’d ff, as it seemed easier and I didn’t know anyone who had bf. However, over those next few years I saw several of my friend bf, and I had seen a lot more research that had extolled the benefits. By the time I had a baby at 33, bfing (or at least attempting to and seeing how I got on) was a no brainer.

I’m not saying all younger mums are immature or easily led, far from it! But if you’ve been raised in a very pro ff society and you’ve never been given the opportunity to explore outside of that, it’s easy to just carry on your family’s tradition. If I’d had a child under 25, I am certain I’d had ff.

In the UK it has become more middle class, however it was always prevalent amongst all classes of various minorities (I.e black African, black Caribbean), but with a very low uptake amongst some Asian and oriental groups, e.g. Chinese Or Pakistani heritage. The data has been around for a long time and has been replicated in the US, Canada and Brazil. It is just the UK that has the pitifully low Breastfeeding rates across Europe. Where I live in Europe breastfeeding is the general status quo.

I had my son at 39, have a good degree from a red brick and live in an affluent area. Out of my NCT class only 2 people were still breastfeeding at 2 months. Make of that what you will. I lasted 4 weeks mixed feeding before moving to formula. The relief was huge.

It is just the UK that has the pitifully low Breastfeeding rates across Europe.

Ireland is worse (though improving). And France isnt great either.

By one year old, if breastfeeding is easy for both, I suspect it will continue. But for mothers like my SIL who was still at one year in pain any time she breastfed, quoting bullshit studies really does not help

I wasn’t quoting studies to help people like your SIL though?? Why would I when she isn’t on this thread?? I was defending breastfeeding against the bollocks claim that there is absolutely no nutritional benefit after the age of one.

I see often on these threads that women don’t succeed at bfing because of lack of support.

What support is available in other countries where the rates are higher?

To the posters with supportive husbands, they sound awesome and im a little bit jealous! My dh never did any of those things. However i didn't need support from anyone. It was just a straight forward transaction of milk from me to baby with no issues. I am aware however thst is not everyones experience. But I loved breast feeding and found it v convenient.

ethel I had a lactation nurse available for my second birth and it made a difference. She was really informative, non judgemental and factual and supported me with pumping, establishing feeding and eventual transition to formula. I was open and honest about my plan to attempt bf but move to mixed feeding long term, and eventually fully ff if I didn't get on with bf and she was great.

I didn't have that for my first birth and after a week I put him on formula. The second time I lasted 4 weeks exclusive and 10 weeks mixed. I have issues with low supply so EBF wasn't ever possible or even what I wanted, but she helped maximise what I had.

My DP was very confused by how often I was BF as he has only see FF who feed every four hours or so. He kept saying at the beginning I was over feeding. I ignored him and listened to my mum and sister who have BF 4 babies - but I can see why if I didn't have that support from them I might be put off.

I only managed to combine feed but I was amazed at how often the exclusively bf ing women were feeding their Los when our antenatal group met socially.

I wholeheartedly agree that a lack of experienced support is a big issue - my mum and sister wanted to support me with new baby but as women with no experience of bf ing, and most importantly, zero belief/faith that it could actually work and meet the baby's needs, they were actually an obstacle to me bf ing. I persevered at combined feeding entirely in spite of them rather than with any help from them. Very frustrating at the time.

*I see often on these threads that women don’t succeed at bfing because of lack of support.

What support is available in other countries where the rates are higher?*

Experienced breast feeders who 'believe' in it, k ow it can work.

In saying that I'd imagine in developing countries necessity makes women persevere through pain, inconvenience and difficulties.

Also I've interested if they have wet m as we did before formula was available/affordable for most.

• wet nurses

Morality that is v sad.

Why do so many have difficulty actually believing that a baby can thrive on breast milk alone? How do they think the human race got here? Not saying its easy just that there does seem to be people out there who don't believe in it like its the tooth fairy.

@sunshineandshowers21 wow- that's a great effort at any age, let alone 15! Good on you.

Why do so many have difficulty actually believing that a baby can thrive on breast milk alone? How do they think the human race got here?

I’d like to know the answer to this too! And do think it is very telling that many women say that they will ‘attempt’ to breastfeed. It’s as though they believe they will fail before they’ve even tried. And of course, that would put many women off even trying.