Breastfeeding: Only Middle Class Now?

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Was debating this with my DP - he is of the belief that breastfeeding is a mainly a middle class thing. I'm not sure if I agree, wanted other opinions.

We live in a very MC/posh area of London and I'd say 90% of mums at my Baby classes BF. This is his evidence.

We both grew up in working class environments - him in a council estate in London where no-one breastfed and me in a Northern town where is was normal to BF.

So.... thoughts?

Yes sure some mothers love breastfeeding and find it easy. Others struggle a lot.
Maybe there needs to be pre natal classes just for fathers that cover breastfeeding, the realities, and how to support it?

The NHS posters promoting BF don’t seem to have translated into actual practical knowledge or training or help.

This so much. And I did nct breastfeeding 'classes' - they all pushed the message that if it hurts you're doing it wrong. I was so shocked when i tried to feed for the first time (and also with my second baby!) how agonising it was.
I don't want to go to a group, hire a consultant, try complicated holds, put cabbage leaves in my bra (I actually did this), assume lansinoh is the answer.
I need someone to watch my latch, when baby is a day or so old, help me improve it, tell me yes it can bloody hurt, tell me about nipple shields which saved me bf my second, show me how to hold the baby comfortably, tell me about possible thrush, and guarantee me that the nipples toughen up soon and then the ease and convenience will make it worthwhile!

I found not BF helped me prioritize other things that i think are more important- getting my own life back/ the fun side and feeling great again very quickly and out and about with my baby much sooner. This 'fourth trimester' people refer to I think is embedded with breastfeeding as I've never experienced it. I was also able to enjoy time alone with my eldest, even going abroad for a two days with her whilst the baby had some alone time with her dad. I don't need to be glued to my baby's side 24/7 to prove I am a great mother to other people. I don't need to prove anything to anyone- it's quite frankly none of their concern. The fact my youngest is the happiest thing I've ever come across is enough for me. With my eldest I spent too much time worrying what people thought about me as a mother. What a waste of energy.

To Roisin- It's all about different ways of doing things and priorities. It really is quite patronizing to suggest people who don't BF are inferior to yourself and very judgmental. It may have been a great choice for you but it certainly wouldn't have been for me or my family. Again if you are trying to persuade people to breastfeed, your attitude will certainly dissuade them. So I don't know what you are trying to achieve other than to give yourself a misguided sense of superiority over other parents? It seems a waste of time if you ask me.

To go back the original post - all I wanted to say was I am not WC. I never ever have wanted to BF though- therefore to me it's not as simplistic as stating its a class driven thing. Sometimes people just do not want to.

I found not BF helped me prioritize other things that i think are more important- getting my own life back/ the fun side and feeling great again very quickly and out and about with my baby much sooner

I don’t doubt this was your experience but I think it’s important to mention that a bf-ing mother can experience exactly the same.

Sweak OP says both she and her husband are from WC backgrounds. Why would you assume she is being condescending towards WC people?

I’m sorry you have been judged for how you feed your child. Coming from a very pro-BF social environment I have never once witnessed any negative comments towards those who choose to formula feed (I am not talking about comments made on anonymous Internet forums, I am talking about real life). I am sorry you have found yourself amongst so many rude people.

I’m very much working class and I breastfeed my baby girl. 7 months in and still going strong. Us working class folk can do the “oh so perfect middle class stuff” too

I'm not sure one's choice of feeding method has much bearing on getting your life back or not!! Once established, for me BF had barely anything to do with my loss of freedom or whatever. Sleep deprivation, depression, responsibility of keeping a baby alive and happy (between two people it's still a lot) were the main factors.

Good for you Cafe.
Don't let your families embarrassment determine any other decisions 😅

Jacques It depends on your baby.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/2837980-How-many-hours-a-day-breastfeeding

I found getting out with a baby much easier when I didn't have to pack a bottle or worry about keeping it the right temp or sterilise it. Not judging anyone at all but I did feel like I was glad to avoid that faff!

I'm not saying class isn't a factor, but the title implies it's the only factor. It's more complex.

The comment about the benefits of bf cannot be denied is indicative of how FF mothers are viewed....women know breast is best. The question is why therefore do women FF instead. There is no one single reason. Like I stated before, I believe, it's not enough help. My son would not latch. I went to support groups etc, but I literally needed three hours one on one help for a few days at a time. This was just not available.

Jacques It depends on your baby

Well quite. Which was why I was careful to use the word “can” not “does”.

Because if you are spending 10 hours a day breastfeeding (I know it is not the norm). then yes there won't be time for much else after other babycare.

Someone else answered this for you much more eloquently a good 100 replies back but I will repeat- I gave my reasons as to why as the original thread question regarded class as the main factor. In my experience it was not- other factors were at play. I was simply explaining what those were for me.

I refuse to engage with you anymore as it is only detailing the thread- you are deliberately being obtuse and only reading what you want to read from my responses. I find it interesting why you have not answered anyone who has suggested your responses to those who did not BF are patronizing, judgmental and self-serving. I wouldn't want a mother who possessed those qualities.

I'm heartbroken Cafe....I thought we could become friends in real life !🤣

Well this has ceased to be in any way edifying. Everyone taking chunks out of each other for being a crap mum who doesn't care about her babies or a boring surrendered cow who can't do anything without her baby So typical of this topic. Always brings out the wankers.

I think it's safe to say that more women in the UK who want to bf are prevented from doing so for as long as they wanted to (for various reasons) than women who want to formula feed are prevented from doing so (straightforward raw numbers bears this out). I also think it's safe to say this is not a biological phenomenon unique to UK mothers. So I have reasonably little time for the notion that the pressure of the breastfeeding lobby is so immense as it is sometimes depicted (especially as my experience, even as a MC woman, was to continually be told to get her on the bottle by friends, family and HCPs alike whenever I tried to get help). Having said that, there are also obviously people (mentioning no names) who use bf as just another status symbol to beat other women with. Just as others enjoy calling bfers "cows" and telling them to "put them away", that they're 'dping it for themselves" like that's somehow a nefarious thing to do etc. I think the fundamental issue here is women are set against each other in this quarter as in every other. It's serving someone. And it certainly isn't women.

@namestheyarechangin couldn't agree more. I also conceed bf are often judged more than FF. I can only go by my experiences.

What needs to happen is those who want to bf but are struggling get more support. And however women chose to feed their babies they should be supported. The issues surrounding feeding (both breast and bottle) can be triggers for pnd.

Women need to be kinder to one another

its fine to do what you want. its bizarre to think there are no correlations between socio-economic class and how we feed how babies when there so obviously is.

You can advise DH that it isn't really possible to "overfeed" a baby while BFing. Your body will adjust to what your baby needs. You can also tell him (and this is a true statement) that the evidence is showing that breastfeeding lowers obesity rates in children. Breastfed babies often need to be fed more frequently because breastmilk is better absorbed than formula, so they won't stay full as long.

Women who try to breastfeed but don't manage to, are at a higher risk of PND.
There needs to be actual help, rather than simply breast is best. Perhaps campaigns aimed at GPs about the realities of breastfeeding would help as well?

I doubt any of us will live to see an edifying thread on this subject.

@helmetbymidnight yes there are. But simply defining it as a class issue alone isn't helpful or accurate

But class is the strongest correlation. It is understanding why that is.

@clairemcnam I agree. It happened to me.

Chirping out breast is best is no bloody help. Im certain women know that. So the issues are around helping women to bf should they wish, rather than applying pressure on struggling women at a fragile time with that bloody statement....which before I get flamed I know is true!

Class as the strongest correlation? What evidence do you have? How do we actually define class anyway? Is it education? Weath? Parents background? Area? Again we are over simplifying the issue