Breastfeeding: Only Middle Class Now?

[redbedheadd]

Was debating this with my DP - he is of the belief that breastfeeding is a mainly a middle class thing. I'm not sure if I agree, wanted other opinions.

We live in a very MC/posh area of London and I'd say 90% of mums at my Baby classes BF. This is his evidence.

We both grew up in working class environments - him in a council estate in London where no-one breastfed and me in a Northern town where is was normal to BF.

So.... thoughts?

I think it’s very sad that ‘saving my family the embarrassment’ is sited as a reason for not bfing.

All the education and awareness raising that’s been done and this is still a barrier?

I do think some on here are of the opinion that if you don't BF you must be automatically WC (let's face it, honest translation for what they actually mean is a bit thick/chavvy)

It has literally never occurred to me to think that and it's certainly not why I'm engaging in this discussion.

That there is a correlation between feeding and social class in the UK - a strong one - is a fact. That doesn't mean every WC person automatically bottle-feeds and every MC person at least tries to breastfeed. And it certainly doesn't mean that people who choose not to are ignorant/thick. It means that human beings are powerfully influenced by local social norms and the behaviour of those around them.

What I want, insofar as I want anything in this debate, is for people to have a genuinely free and informed choice, i.e. if they want to BF they have role models like them who do it, they have support if they need it, etc, and if they choose to FF then they get a helpful and factual perspective on that. What I don't want is people who might have liked to breastfeed, and babies who could have benefited from breastmilk, not getting it because people like us don't do that, or because their MIL destroyed their confidence, or because their midwife just assumed that they wouldn't even try.

It is hard though. Until a few weeks ago my in-laws were so keen on giving me "privacy" that they stampeded out of the room and stood in the kitchen. This despite me happily feeding in cafés. This puts pressure on me to try not take 45 minutes which DS often does! They're ok now though after being out with me more.

Argh Roisin I'm properly cringing for you. Don't you know what a patronising judgemental arse you sound? It's people like you that give breastfeeding activists (i.e. me!!) a bad rep and turn people off engaging with support because they think we're all nuts and incredibly judgy. Do me a favour and stop? Please?

ethel La Leche says things that are not backed by actual evidence.

Also not all women find breastfeeding easy after the first few weeks. That is a total myth and one I have heard many times. For some women it is true, but for some they continue to have many difficulties even though they carry on feeding for a year.

ethel La Leche says things that are not backed by actual evidence

So do people on here who say that there is no benefit to breastfeeding after 12 months.

But if you’re right, a quick cursory google will bring up many other studies (kellymom has a list also which does cite studies)

Oh Roisin- it is one of many many reasons as I said stated earlier, for some reason you've just got fixated on that particular one.

To be honest the main reason I didn't want to is because I actually don't want to turn into a sanctimonious, BF obsessed judgmental bore such as yourself. It doesn't give you much time left over to enjoy your children I would have thought.

I live in a very poor area, my mum was on benefits when I was a child. I did a very working class job in the beauty industry.

Breastfed both DC to 16 and 17 months. None of my friends have done or do. Everyone were very positive for the first 6 months ...then all the comments started like are you going to feed them until they are at school? wow they are on your boob AGAIN ?! or they will sleep through when you bottle feed. I just gave lectures about the benefit of breastfeeding and how calm my babies were.

I miss having a little supply to help heal sore fingers/gunky eyes /cuts and grazes for my little ones.

To be honest the main reason I didn't want to is because I actually don't want to turn into a sanctimonious, BF obsessed judgmental bore such as yourself. It doesn't give you much time left over to enjoy your children I would have thought.

C'mon now, stop acting like a dick.

How condescending to suggest only the 'middle class' bf. I'm postgraduate educated and formula feed, and there are plenty of women who bf and are what would be termed working class.

The issues are more complex. For me, I found it just too difficult. I would suggest the lack of postpartum support for mothers in the UK is the reason for our low bf rates.

Terming it as the domain of the middle class implies those who formula feed are some how lesser as people or mothers.

Frankly insulting!

I lurk and hardly comment, this has made me so angry. How about women support women as mothers regardless of how they feed?

The fact that this type of discussion always ends up turning nasty doesnt help much either.

I agree it is a generational thing too. I know my mum and MIL didn't bf (although my mum did try with me but never managed to establish it). They definitely seem more in the mindset of 'baby feeds every 3-4 hours' and were surprised by how much DS fed. Interestingly, my aunt lived in New Zealand when she had her first over 20 years ago and she said the support there for bf was phenomenal. She bf-ed her first for 14 months. She had her second in the uk and said had she not had the exeprience in NZ she'd have struggled hugely, but as it was she bf-ed her second to 2yo.

@snuggybuggy I agree. Perhaps a less inflammatory thread title wouldn't evoke such emotional responses from people?

Cafe , how silly !
Breast feeding feeding enables you to spend and enjoy time with your baby because no one can take them away and give them powdered milk .
You'll have lots of time to yourself when they're older .
Stop trying to justify the fact that you simply didn't want to feed them yourself and move on.

Why? She's accused me of not caring about my own children, having no self-confidence and neglecting them a good start in life because I don't BF. There's only one person I see behaving like a 'dick'

Roisin I didn't want to feed them myself- I think I've made that very clear. You seem more invested in that than me!

Ethel I am just looking at KellysMom site. Those studies quoted ignore the correlation between breastfeeding and higher income/social class. It quotes benefits for extended breastfeeding that are real for those who live in countries with no access to clean water and sanitation. Yes if that is the case extended breastfeeding is much much safer for children. But that is not the situation in Britain. It has dangerously wrong information about breastfeeding delaying return of fertility. Research shows that only applies when women are underweight. And there is a lot of health information that applies only to breastfeeding as a whole, not extended breastfeeding. There are some studies quoted that say extended breastfeeding leads to a very small decrease in risk for some illnesses.

Why does all this matter? Because women get pressurised to breastfeed with a load of nonsense claims.
By one year old, if breastfeeding is easy for both, I suspect it will continue. But for mothers like my SIL who was still at one year in pain any time she breastfed, quoting bullshit studies really does not help.

Sweak it’s only you who has made the jump to suggesting that working class is “lesser” than middle class. Nobody said that. They are just socio-economic labels.

And if you look properly at the OP, what she is talking about is the way that people acquire their perspective of what is the default thing to do. In other words, why does one woman grow up thinking that bottle feeding is standard and to BF would be a departure from what most of her social circle do, vs another who sees BF as the starting point and does not think twice about trying it?

OP’s DH has said it was a class thing. OP was wondering whether that was true.

That’s all. There is no judgment inherent in the question asked.

Breast feeding feeding enables you to spend and enjoy time with your baby
FFS Roisin, you do talk rubbish. There are plenty of mothers who struggled with breastfeeding who do not enjoy it one little bit and say it affected bonding negatively.

Some mothers have a great time breastfeeding, so brilliant. Others don't. Please don't pretend every mother has the same experience.

@Sweak but BF rates are rated to class, what good does it do pretending it doesnt?

Also despite all the anecdotes about FF babies who grew to be 6 foot and never had a days illness there are proven benefits to BF

We can't just pretend things to make people feel better

So Cafe, why give do many reasons. You didn't want to feed them, fine.
The not wanting to embarrass family is a pathetic reason and stands out because it shows that you put other's needs ahead of your childrens.

There are health benefits to breastfeeding, but they are far less once class is taken into account. Class at every age is strongly correlated with poorer health.

Claire, please be calm.
To clarify, if it works out for you and your baby it is wonderful.
Stop overreacting!

@jessiemcjessie class terms within the UK are controversial and regardless of the OPs intention, her title does sound judgemental.

I will admit I have perhaps a personal axe to grind here, I'm fed up of being made to feel like a bad parent for using formula. I've been judged too many times.