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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband told how to spend inheritance ( only on himself)

149 replies

paulmike · 29/04/2019 23:14

AIBU... husband of nearly 20 years sits me down to explain that his grandfathers inheritance left to HIM.... that his parents have told him it must he spent on himself ... full disclosure, I have never lived off my husband and I owned our initial property which financed the family home ... not to drip feed, his parents are very controlling and even though he’s in his 40’s he always takes their side.. I have always worked while he’s at home drinking most nights.. out ds is now 17 .... wwud?

OP posts:
ANiceLuxury · 29/04/2019 23:17

Wow!!

I would remind him that legally it’s 50% yours

Wurkit · 29/04/2019 23:18

And is he taking their advice?

Do you get on with his parents?

It’s his inheritance and he should spend it how he wishes.

Caselgarcia · 29/04/2019 23:18

Absolutely nothing to do with his parents. The money was left by his grandfather NOT them. So ignore them.

Wurkit · 29/04/2019 23:19

@ANiceLuxury

Inheritance isn’t a matrimonial asset as far as I’m aware and wouldn’t be counted in divorce proceedings - particularly if the spouses had always had independent finances.

Redshoeblueshoe · 29/04/2019 23:19

I'd tell him to get lost
Actually that is the polite version

Jon65 · 29/04/2019 23:19

Bury him under the patio and taake up Irish dancing..

timeisnotaline · 29/04/2019 23:20

It doesn’t sound a great relationship op? Do you work nights then? Or is it just that he sits home boringly?

I suppose I would reconsider what I am giving to the relationship, as an immediate step if I did most of the housework and admin that would be over in any area that affects him.

Chocmallows · 29/04/2019 23:20

If you divorce in theory you get 50%, as equity into the marriage is for you both.
Is this the straw that breaks the camel's back? you've had enough?

KC225 · 29/04/2019 23:20

Did he tell you this as an 'what are they like?' anecdote or is he seriously planning to spend it on himself.

FlyingMonkeys · 29/04/2019 23:20

Is it in the region of 2k, 20k, or 200k? Not that it should matter at all but I'd think he was being tight over 2k to try to splurge on himself, and taking the piss with the other 2 figures. Especially if it could mean paying off the mortgage early, setting your ds up with a car, or university funding.

Drogosnextwife · 29/04/2019 23:20

Sounds like he is quite happy to go along with it to be honest. If he wasn't he wouldn't have mentioned it to you, and he would have told his parents it was none of their business.

Chocmallows · 29/04/2019 23:21

In my divorce inheritance (my side) was taken as joint asset.

HollowTalk · 29/04/2019 23:21

So he's happy to take, but can't give? And you're clearly not happy. Has he actually received this inheritance?

I think I'd be speaking to a lawyer to find out what's what.

waterandlemonjuice · 29/04/2019 23:21

It’s a joint marital asset, he is BVVU

KittiKat · 29/04/2019 23:22

Divorce the bastard and make sure I took 50% of his inheritance.

Wurkit · 29/04/2019 23:22

I am in Scotland and it is not counted here as a matrimonial asset. Not sure about elsewhere.

Hisnamesblaine · 29/04/2019 23:23

What does he plan to spent it on??

Provincialbelle · 29/04/2019 23:24

Sounds like the inheritance is a minor part of your problems. See a solicitor for a start, and tell your DH to get a life pronto

Wurkit · 29/04/2019 23:25

I think @Provincialbelle has it!

HeronLanyon · 29/04/2019 23:26

Well I’d be worried 1 why his parents have said this - do they not like you or think you are after his money or would spend it recklessly etc. Are they angry it didn’t come
To them ?

  1. Why is he listening - it’s
His decision.
  1. Why has he told you - odd.
4 why do you have to Do anything ? He’s Come into money - why is it for you to assume presume
  1. Why wouldn’t he share it with you anyway ???
All Very odd. Good luck.
cuppycakey · 29/04/2019 23:26

This sounds like the least of your problems......................

Yesicancancan · 29/04/2019 23:27

Tell your man child to use his inheritance on a home, for himself to live in and his parents to visit him.

tanpestryfirescreen · 29/04/2019 23:28

How much is it? Direct from GP in the will or parents passing on some money that they have inherited?

AppleDump · 29/04/2019 23:28

He sounds like a catch.....How
much are talking? £500 not so bad or ££££'s totally should be discussed between you both,

His parents sound like arses cheeky twats

Yesicancancan · 29/04/2019 23:29

If you love him, and he loves you suggest he buys a pair of scissors for himself to cut the aprons strings.