To ask if you have a problem with your father walking you down the isle?

[trully]

I have just seen the thread about asking for hand in marriage and seeing how sexist it is etc etc I do agree and I understand where it came from. However, it's the same for your father "giving you away" and walking you down the isle. Does that bother everyone too?

I did have a veil but not over my face!

Sure no one in their right mind believes the father is actually "giving away" his daughter to her husband?

My eldest DD is having her brother walk her in, we aren't calling it giving her away, she's proud to have her only brother at her side.

I don't have the best of relationships with my Dad. He and my Mum are still married and he attended the wedding, although I haven't spoke to him since the age of 18 and I'm late 20's now. He was at my wedding, sitting with my Mum, but my sister walked down the isle with me as she was my Maid of honour. It was more for moral support to calm my nerves, rather than to give me away.

Funnily enough I went to a very nice "traditional" wedding where the two brides were walked down the aisle by fathers and when it came to asking who gives this woman, one's father said "I do" and the other's parents said in unison "we do" but I guess they were participating in women as chattel and marital rape even though there were no grooms?

No aisle walk, no fluffy dress, no bridesmaids, no best man, no Dad giving-away. Went to church for morning service, stood up separately, got married, signed register, sat down again together, service continued. Perfect.

34 years ago today .

I think is a very personal thing and understand completely why people choose not to but also think people should respect you if you choose to walk with your dad. Sadly you never know how long you will have your parents around and I will always be grateful for that special time with my dad both in the car before and walking down the aisle as it meant lots to both of us.

Meh, I can’t get worked up about this. It’s a silly tradition from the past, like wearing white or having a best man or putting up a tree at Christmas. Being walked down the aisle doesn’t make me less of an independent woman, any more than eating a Christmas Dinner makes me a Christian.

I thought of long distance footpaths (I'll get my coat)

Though that wouid be a brilliant, but totally separate, event.

My DDad had died a number of years before I married, so it was never an option for me. DMum declined, so DBro did it.

If I ever married again, I'd either elope to Vegas and be done by Elvis (no giving away required) or have the DC walk me down the aisle - after all, the poor sod might be marrying me, but he'd also be getting the whole family.

I walked myself and I gave a speech.

DH and I got married in the early 90s. We arrived at the register office together and my father wasn't asked to give me away. The notion hadn't entered my head until my aunt mentioned it was something he'd like to do, but on reflection we stuck to our original plan. I didn't want to be handed over from one man to another, whether jokingly (she's your problem now, mate) or as a precious gift.

Yes. I didn't do it at my wedding. I walked down the aisle alone, with my made of honour, bridesmaids, and page boys ahead of me.

Just own your anti feminist decisions, don't try and make out it was special because of x, y and z. Like every name change thread full of reasons why their own surname was hard to spell / linked to a horrid family member / other issue men rarely seem to have with their names.

My dad walked me down the aisle, it was too narrow for my mum to join and it wasn't worth the agro not to do it. It's a shit tradition and I wasn't bold enough to make a fuss. It is what it is. I would encourage things to be different for our children.

My DF died the year before I got married. I'd have loved him to walk me down the aisle as I know how chuffed he would have been to do it.

I didn't have any bridesmaids as I wasn't sure what they were for.

Not married yet - but planning on it next year, and we'll walk in together. My dad wasn't the least bit offended, he agreed it was a sexist tradition, and then said he could sit and pretend he wasn't crying at the front instead haha. Also, when my OH asked if he should ever ask my dad for his blessing, as a step down from permission in case my dad was put out not to be asked, my response was that my dad wouldn't like that any more than I did - and when we told my dad this after we were officially engaged, my dad laughed and said "I'm glad you didn't because I would have known you weren't right for her". My dad's excellent 💛

My dad walked me down the aisle. Not to give me away but as a friend/ support and it was lovely having him involved in that way - I'm very close to my dad.

DHdidn't ask for my hand and my Dad would have been worried about me marrying a guy who thought he ( my dad) had a say in who I married.

I did used to be sexist but now it is only sexist if your dad sees you as his property which I'm guessing most of our dads don't.

I think it's how you frame it, my dad and I have always gone for long walks together, often with the dog but often without, DM and DB weren't as interested so we'd go rambling/hiking together. My dad didn't assume anything, but I asked him as if enjoyed going on so many walks with him, if he'd like to go on another one with me. A little bit cheesy but it meant something to him, and I didn't see it as him walking me down the aisle to give me away, I just saw it as him walking with me, I'm closer to my DF than my DM and always have been, I have friends who have walked with their DMs or both parents. I think it was just a way of involving him, my DB was an usher, my niece was a flower girl etc

Being "given away" is certainly outdated and sexist. But I think you could always look on it as having someone there to support you at a time when you are going through a big change. If I were getting married I'd have my mum and dd walk me down the isle if I didn't want to go it alone.

We had a registry office wedding and DH and I came in together.

The only involvement he had was taking photos and paying for the Afternoon Tea!

I debated this for a while.

Mum and dad accompanied me in the end. I removed the 'who gives this bride' it was made clear I wasnt being given away. Just having my parents with me as I would at any big stepping stone.

If I was, getting married again. My kids might walk me down or go and I go together. Or alone.

But again, not being given away

My DF walked the aisle with me. It wasn't as "giving me away" but rather walking me into new chapter of my life. My mum spent the prep time with me, my dad accompanied me on the walk.

I get why someone want it and why some do want it. Should be everyone's choice and the sneering at either is wrong imho.

I walked in to the waiting room and my Dad was dressed in a kilt (we are Scottish) as it was a small wedding I didn't think he would hire one. He then walked me down the aisle. It's a wonderful memory as less than 2 years later he died of cancer at a young age. This was my 2nd marriage, first marriage we had none of that. . I was an independent woman with 3 children and I had owned my own home for many years but nothing would make me regret that special moment and the pictures which our family took of us together (we didn't have a photographer) are beautiful of us both. We harmed no one or my feminist values!

It bothered me. I still had him do it for my first marriage because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

For my second marriage, I was more mature and just skipped it. DH and I actually decided to walk down the aisle together hand in hand. Much more positive symbolism.

I have wonderful memories of my Father walking me down the aisle, so grateful for the memory as he died a year later.