To ask if you have a problem with your father walking you down the isle?

[trully]

I have just seen the thread about asking for hand in marriage and seeing how sexist it is etc etc I do agree and I understand where it came from. However, it's the same for your father "giving you away" and walking you down the isle. Does that bother everyone too?

I asked both of my parents to walk down the aisle with me, my mum gave up much more and put much more of herself into bringing me up than my dad, even though he’s a great dad he didn’t carry me for 9 months, almost die giving birth to me, cook every meal during my childhood or give up work to look after me.

My dad walked me down the aisle but it didn't involve any 'giving away'. He died fairly recently and I'm so happy to have the memory of that day.
I'm the oldest of a very large family. My dad and i very, very rarely spent anytime as just us two. I love having the photos of the two of us walking together. And he was so pleased to do it.
My youngest sister is getting married soon and she is so sad not to have him there.

@GuineaPiglet345 this is why my mum was my witness. DF walked me to the table and mum signed the paper.
They were bot really made up with being included like this.

*We’re having a registry office ceremony though so he won’t technically be “giving me away” although I guess that’s what it’s symbolic of.

utterly hypocritical.*

Is it also hypocritical to take part in traditional activities associated with christmas, easter, pancake day etc, without being a practising Christian?

s it also hypocritical to take part in traditional activities associated with christmas, easter, pancake day etc, without being a practising Christian?

Depends if they’re truly Christian activities or if they’re the ones that were part of the pagan ceremonies that the Christians stole!

I know my mum would have loved to have given me away, as would my step dad (they’re separated). My “real” dad wasn’t invited.

DH and I decided to walk into the registry office together, for me it was a symbol of our relationship (we were both nervous about all the attention being on us, so supported each other), and the fact that I’m not anyone’s to give away. But I didn’t wear white and I didn’t change my name, so tradition means very little to me.

Only those whose wedding day it is really get a say, everyone else can do one - I might do things differently to others, but I would never criticise the choices people make about their own wedding day (as long as they’re not harming anyone etc).

Yes and no. I want to be walked down the isle by my dad, I’m not being given away though, just simply walked down the isle!

Many many years ago I had a traditional church wedding and , no my father did not give me away ( divorced parents who could not be civil) so he was sadly not there.
I chose someone with whom I had a special relationship with to give me away.
As for asking permission, if you are old enough you don't need permission.

I asked for my mum to walk me down the aisle (mum and dad divorced ).

My mum thought it would break my fathers heart and would make a "massive statement". Despite this it was what I wanted. My mum said she would not be more proud and got really quite emotional. But she said she thought it should be my dad. she regretted it the second he started to walk me down. It was one of her biggest regrets.

I did it but in part because being walked down by both parents looks too much like you're being guarded on either side as you walk to your execution!

I didn’t know they actually ask who gives this woman, I think I’d love a resounding we do from my half and then ask his side the same.

My df walked me down the isle, but there was no mention of being given away. My feminist side worried about being walked down the isle, but I'm glad my dad got to do that. He was proud of me and I was proud and reassured to have him by my side.

Well that’s quite a leap! Your father giving you away to marital rape and slavery!!!

That’s literally where the tradition comes from!

I didn't have a problem with being walked down the aisle. But I refused to have any mention of giving away during the ceremony. I looked on it as my dad accompanying me down the aisle the same as my sister/bridesmaid. Perhaps I should have had my mum too but then she wouldn't have been able to sit and cry!

I don't have a father. If I get married I'll walk myself down the aisle.

So many people have said the stuff I'd like to say, but more concisely. A couple of examples:

Sure no one in their right mind believes the father is actually "giving away" his daughter to her husband?

It seems as though women fight to break the chains of being forced to conform in one way to just be shackled to another.

My daughter's father died a few years ago. I know he'd have been really proud to support her to the next stage of her life. I don't know yet whether she'll ask me to do the same, but I'll be proud to do so too.

My father gave me away. Dh also asked to court,and marry me. I don't bat an eyelid at this kind of thing. It's tradition. If your not for it then you shouldn't have the other traditional stuff, like white dresses/rings/name changing ect.

It's tradition. If your not for it then you shouldn't have the other traditional stuff, like white dresses/rings/name changing ect.

Didn’t do any of that bollocks either.

@Sparklingbrook you have made me laugh on this thread

I had my dad walk me down the ailse and I can honestly say I wouldn't have had it any other way. It wasn't about being 'given away' but progressing to the next stage in life and it was very special to both of us.

That said, my wedding was quite traditional (by my own choice) and we had a church ceremony.

It is each to their own though - I loved my traditional day but have been to weddings that were different to mine but equally as special.

I do think my dad would have been devastated if I'd said I didn't want to be walked down the ailse though and although it's the bride's day, I do think other people's feelings should still be considered.

I realised more than ever how very lucky I was to have a dad to walk me down the ailse when I saw a friends wedding recently. Her father died young, a few years ago and so couldn't walk her down the ailse. Her mum did it instead and it was still lovely but I know she felt it very deeply on the day.

Sux2buthen, you have to laugh given some of the strange posts on this thread.

Who would have thought a completely normal, traditional wedding would create such angst in people?

Not married probably never will but I would not let my dad walk me down an aisle because he is a dreadful father

My dad walked me down the aisle. There was no ‘who presents this woman to this man’ though.

I also changed my name to that of my OH. Although to be honest, the only reason I changed my name was because we had our first and second sons young, and I just naively, stupidly thought it was ‘tradition’ for children to automatically take their father’s name, so they took DH name.

As I’ve grown up, I’ve realised the silliness perhaps In that assumption but too late to back track. I’m pregnant with our third son, and so in order to have the same name as my sons, I changed to DH name.

If I were to go back, I would insist our children’s names were double barrelled and I’d keep my own name.

There’s some absolute crap being spouted on here! I had a difficult relationship with my DF and only got back in touch with him 6 months before the wedding so he was never going to ‘give me away’. My DM walked into the room with me, there was no veil to lift and no reference to ‘who gives this woman’. She has always been there for me so I wanted her with me for the support.

Eight months later me (and bump) walked her down the aisle.