WIBU to make them sit outside?

[FissionChips]

DH thinks I was.

A couple of weeks ago a parent from the school run turned up unannounced at my door saying she thought our children might like to play and that she fancied a catch-up.
I made them stay outside on the driveway (back garden unusable atm) and brought toys for the children to play with and chairs for us to it on, outside.

DH brought it up tonight, he saw her whilst shopping and she mentioned she felt a bit down after being here.

My argument is that I have told her before that I don’t appreciate visitors and will rarely invite them inside. I provided a drink for her and brought out blankets when the temperature cooled.

WIBU?

How will your child feel when no adults allow them to come to your home to play due to your behaviour?

Good manners would be not inviting yourself to a persons house when it’s been made clear that you wouldn’t be welcome.

Possibly, but the response to that (given that this is someone you know quite well and the mother of your children's friends) is to say something along the lines of "Sorry, can't manage it today, perhaps we could meet up somewhere later."

Even if you felt that in some bizarre way you had to punish this unfortunate woman, why did that have to extend to punishing her children and your own? i fear your poor kids may never live this one down.

Is your daughter never allowed friends over then?

Does your husband drive? Did you have to move off the drive to let him on?

And what if she wanted the loo?

I can see it being real, and I don't think the OP means to be a nasty person.

It's easy when people are so often difficult or unpleasant or you are wrapped in how you feel, to forget to fully put yourself in someone else's shoes and look at how your own behaviour might make them feel. We are ALL capable of this mistake, not just the OP.

I would think you were bonkers and it would make me feel unwelcome and I probably would avoid you in the future. I always call ahead if people are free buy I know if I did ever turn up they wouldn't leave me outside

Bizarre. Utterly bizarre.

I get that you feel that this woman was being rude and inviting herself to see you... but making her and her child play outside your house on the driveway is appalling behaviour.

New level of batshit crazy when you actually go back inside to bring blankets out when it gets cold!

You seem like a lot of hard work OP. Yes, she probably will never come back, but the way you treated her is downright rude.

What is it about your house or personal space that alarms you if others were to come inside? Are you harbouring something questionable inside the house? Are you ashamed about something? Are you from a marginalised group in society and frightened to invite others in for fear of personal safety?

All genuine questions, btw. I'm curious as to what drives your strange behaviour.

Ahhh I get it. I'm pretty sure I've read this thread before 😉

What do you get Louiselouie?

You sound like hard work and just plain nasty, poor kids!

I hate it when people don't let me know they are coming why must they come when the house is a mess instead of when I have just cleaned up....give me an hours notice people! but I would have either said I was busy today or depending on who it was invited them in while apologising while cursing them under my breath for not calling first and feeling like shit about the mess.

My guess is you panicked and didn't do the wisest thing in the circumstances but at least they will call first next time so perhaps it was a win in the end

I don't have a lot of sympathy for someone who invites themselves into someone else's home-- especially when it puts the other person on the spot and they have no graceful way of declining the self-invite.

While it's unusual and inhospitable to keep a visitor outside when it isn't nice weather, it was rude and inconsiderate of the other woman to turn up uninvited and unannounced (and refuse to take the hint that she wasn't welcome inside). As long as you aren't bothered by people thinking you're odd, I don't see a problem with it.

As others have said, maybe she'll have received the message, finally, that you don't want her to visit. Why couldn't she invite you and your child over to her own home, rather than inviting themselves over to yours? That would've been the more normal thing to do.

Yeah, I'm not a fan of the random visitor, but that is world-class misanthropy, right there.

On a roasting summer's day, sitting outside might scrape the barrel of acceptability, as long as guests were furnished with cold drinks and cheery conversation.

Taking blankets out to visitors because it's cold? Certifiable?

Those people must really like you.

This is so weird

Perhaps she is lacking social skills, it would explain her behaviour.

😂😂😂😂. The words pot and kettle ............

Listen mate, I don’t like having people in my home, so I understand that. But when you’ve got children of an age to want to have friends around to play and vice verse I really feel you have to just grin and bear it, so to speak. I had a friend who could play at my our houses but nobody was allowed to hers and everyone thought they were “so weird” and parents got tired of unreciprocated hosting. If you think your husband was mortified, imagine how your child will feel at 10 or 12.

’m not a horrible person, I have her 60p once when we were both in a queue together and she was short.

Perhaps she is lacking social skills, it would explain her behaviour.

I recognise this poster and yet I'm struggling to believe this is not a wind up

Sorry, bold fail!

Really rigid thinking OP. You think that because you’ve made your ‘rule’ clear that you don’t want visitors to your home, it is right that you —punish— uphold that rule by not letting her in.

It’s a bit cruel and humiliating.

Strikeout fail. Can never do it properly on my phone!