WIBU to make them sit outside?

[FissionChips]

DH thinks I was.

A couple of weeks ago a parent from the school run turned up unannounced at my door saying she thought our children might like to play and that she fancied a catch-up.
I made them stay outside on the driveway (back garden unusable atm) and brought toys for the children to play with and chairs for us to it on, outside.

DH brought it up tonight, he saw her whilst shopping and she mentioned she felt a bit down after being here.

My argument is that I have told her before that I don’t appreciate visitors and will rarely invite them inside. I provided a drink for her and brought out blankets when the temperature cooled.

WIBU?

I wouldn't allow tradespeople. They're strangers.

I wouldn't allow tradespeople. They're strangers

Unfortunately I’m neither an electrician nor a gas engineer.

Unfortunately I’m neither an electrician nor a gas engineer.

In the best-case scenario, you're pulling our leg and having a laugh.

In the worst-case scenario, you have serious mental health problems. It's really, really not normal so be so hostile to having people set foot in your home for no reason whatsoever.

Wow. I can't even.

So, yes, OP, you were being incredibly unreasonable. And rude.

If you didn't want these people in your house, the polite, reasonable thing to do would be to say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, it's not convenient for you to come now. Shall we make a time to meet up at the park/cafe/play area?' If it was a really warm day, it would be okay to say, 'How lovely, shall we sit outside so the children can play and enjoy the sunshine?'

But at the point where you are bringing blankets outside because it's cold, you have tipped into batshit crazy.

I hope that's cleared that up.

This

When your lad is 18 he won't let the door hit him on the way out, and he won't be back much*
He won’t ever come back because the OP doesn’t like ‘other people’ in her house.

This must be the most bizarre thread I have read!

You are enigmatic OP! Your home is clean and you aren't a hoarder. Tradespeople can enter. Your children's friends must play in the drive (garden not available for an unknown reason). A child's mother who you know from play centres must also sit in the drive. You carry out seats, drinks and blankets to the drive. You wave them off when it starts raining.
You think all people belong in the own homes and shouldn't anyone else's.
Hmmmm... fascinating.

22 pages and I still don't know if the guests asked to use the loo what would have happened????? Pretty sure the answer here will tell you whether you need help or not @FissionChips which I'm assuming is why you haven't answered it.

The OP didn't tell the visitor not to come to her house. She just said she didn't want to meet for coffee. Which may have been construed as an invitation to visit your house. Which I suspect she will not do again, or any one else for that matter. Winning.

I wouldn't allow tradespeople. They're strangers

How do you get essential work done on your house then?

If you didn't want these people in your house, the polite, reasonable thing to do would be to say, 'Oh, I'm sorry, it's not convenient for you to come now. Shall we make a time to meet up at the park/cafe/play area?

I have made it clear to her many times that I don’t like people in my home. I do meet up with her at play centres etc.
I have no idea how I could’ve made it any clearer to her about how I feel about visitors.

Your unrepentant rudeness to the point of ignorance, FissionChips will rebound back on you and your kids as the years go by. It's not just this incident is it ?

Nowt as queer as folk so the saying goes!

Op,can you explain why?

I have made it clear to her many times that I don’t like people in my home. I do meet up with her at play centres etc.
I have no idea how I could’ve made it any clearer to her about how I feel about visitors
By saying to her, when she was on your doorstep that you were busy/now was convenient for you.

Do any family members visit your house? Is DH allowed his friends over or is this something you have told him he’s not allowed to do?

Not wanting people in your house is in some way understandable, actually not letting people in your house really isn’t understandable.

Tbh, I wouldn’t really worry about your DCs friends turning up unannounced as the mum will probably be talking about this to other parents at the school

I do think she was quite odd to turn up but mostly I just want to know WHHHHYYYYY you are so averse to visitors. Did you grow up in a home like this?

I am from a culture all about calling in but also have lived in a big city where it’d be very weird if you got a train and ‘called in’ to anyone.

Wow is this a joke?!!?
If you don't want her in your house make an excuse for her to leave, don't make her sit on your bloody drive in the cold!!

I hope she never bothers to make an effort to see you again, how rude

This is the strangest thing I've ever heard. You were lucky your friend was so polite about it. If you don't want any friends, then you are not being unreasonable. For any other person on the planet though, yes you are. How ridiculous

"I have made it clear to her many times that I don’t like people in my home. I do meet up with her at play centres etc"

In that case I agree that she was rude to turn up unannounced.

I am curious to know why you hate people coming into your house though. And I think you need to take on board my point and other PP's points about making it awkward for your DC when they are older and want to have friends round. You will drive them away if you aren't careful.

If this post had gone a different way, and it was "AIBU to turn an unannounced visitor away from my home" then most people on here would agree with you. Such strange, rude behaviour to make someone sit out on your drive

You came on a forum and asked for people's opinion about if your being unreasonable. 25 pages of people saying yes you are, yet your still being very stubborn and somehow, rather delusional, still believe you are correct

Don't ask for people's opinions on a forum if you are not prepared to accept other people's criticisms, feedback, advice and opinions. Common sense.

My apologies DontVisitMe, I missed your first post. Are you getting any help/support for your anxiety?

OP please tell me how you managed to date your now husband!

... if my partner wouldn’t allow me into his house then I’d assume he was probably already married.

You are very strange.....

I think the fact your own husband was mortified shows just how bad the situation must have looked. I feel incredibly sorry for the other woman and I'm saying this out of kindness but you really need to reign in this behaviour because school gate gossip is rife and you'll be the talk of it. It'll be your child that suffers.

I can only assume you have something in your home that you don’t want people to see like upturned severed heads used as vases. Or, worse still, an extensive collection of lord of the rings miniature figurines.

Everything bridgetreilly said in about the 10th reply on P1.
Nothing you have said since has drip fed this to be in any way normal, logical or in any way at all reasonable.

In the first instance, I can understand some people don't like spontaneity - someone jst turing up unannounced - but the normal reply at that point would have been to say 'Sorry, it's not convenient right now'. I've trawled through 25 pages so try to find an actual reason for SUCH odd behaviour, and you sound weirder with each post.
The "I once gave her 60p" as if it were some kind of £500 loan

As for saying the other parent lacks social skills ?!?!! The irony!

Once you got on to not allowing anyone in to your home, then it becomes an issue of mental health and something you ought to seek some support for, for the sake of your dc. That really, really is not within the bound of normal behaviour. Seriously OP, seek help.

Yes, the fact your dh was mortified must also have given you some form of doubt about what you did ?
Maybe why you asked on here ?