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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to make them sit outside?

808 replies

FissionChips · 28/04/2019 00:11

DH thinks I was.

A couple of weeks ago a parent from the school run turned up unannounced at my door saying she thought our children might like to play and that she fancied a catch-up.
I made them stay outside on the driveway (back garden unusable atm) and brought toys for the children to play with and chairs for us to it on, outside.

DH brought it up tonight, he saw her whilst shopping and she mentioned she felt a bit down after being here.

My argument is that I have told her before that I don’t appreciate visitors and will rarely invite them inside. I provided a drink for her and brought out blankets when the temperature cooled.

WIBU?

OP posts:
Yoursilentface · 28/04/2019 14:46

There's got to be more too it then I don't like people in my house.

Either your embarrassed of somthing or you've got some ocd thing going on.

Butchyrestingface · 28/04/2019 14:47

Whatever it is, can you articulate why you won't allow people in your home?

🤔

WIBU to make them sit outside?
Catchingbentcoppers · 28/04/2019 14:47

OP, what is the reason that you don't like people in your house? Do you feel that they might judge you? They might bring in germs? I just want to understand why you have such a hardline stance on having people in your home.

I have a relative who is a hoarder. There is literally no room in her house to entertain people, even for a cup of tea. She would never dream of having someone to her home. Having said that, she's not rude enough to make someone sit outside her house.

BingandFlop2019 · 28/04/2019 14:48

@Roussette Get them G&Ts down ya neck! Gin

Yabbers · 28/04/2019 15:00

It’s weird, odd, rude etc. Sure, it was a bit forward of her to turn up, but you didn’t act that way because she was rude, you acted that way because you literally don’t want anyone else in your house. That is utterly bizarre. And not something many other people think.

ChandelierLizzid · 28/04/2019 15:01

There MUST be more to this story... Without context it's just a weird story altogether

Bluntness100 · 28/04/2019 15:07

Agree there is more to it. Op, I'm guessing you're ashamed of your home or something? Unless you are not neurotypical in some way you would understand your behaviour was incredibly and extremely abnormal.

I'm assuming your husband doesn't feel the same way, but doesn't invite people in because of your feelings?

So what is it about your home that you don't want people in there for?

Roussette · 28/04/2019 15:11

Bing oooh yes! Grin

I thought the OP was very houseproud or something, as opposed to a hoarder

Peanutbutterforever · 28/04/2019 15:12

OP, the 'normal' behaviour would have been to either invite her in, or to say it wasn't convenient and send her home. Sitting outside with her, by the bins, was bonkers.

If this isn't a joke/ reverse, please talk to someone you trust about social interaction with the parents of you kid's friends. You are opening your dc up to a world of embarrassment about you and that would be a shame.

Bluntness100 · 28/04/2019 15:12

I think if you're very house proud you tend to want to show your home off. It is normally the opposite. If you're ashamed of it, you don't want anyone in.

Roussette · 28/04/2019 15:22

Don't totally agree. The woman I know who I've talked about on here is houseproud, and doesn't want anyone in her house.

InfiniteCurve · 28/04/2019 15:22

I have met up with her at other places so the children can play, why does she need to come to my home?

Bluntness100 · 28/04/2019 15:25

Rousette I don't think that's the norm though..

Nonnymum · 28/04/2019 15:30

You must live in a vey different world to me. I don't understand what is so awful about having people in your house. Do you have any visitors at all or does no one ever go into your house?.
I love it when friends pop by and I always invite them in for coffee. And akthough you call her a random person it sounds as though she does thinks she is your friend, Do you ever have DCs friend round for tea or to play?
Of course it is totally up to you whether you invite her in or not but I don't think you can be surprised that people find it odd behaviour. Wouldn't it have been better it you had just said it wasn't convenient and made some sort of other arrangement.

InfiniteCurve · 28/04/2019 15:30

Whoops posted too soon..
And now I've lost my train of thought....

RedDogsBeg · 28/04/2019 15:32

OP said this earlier: We plan to move to a larger house with space for a teen room/den where they can mostly entertain themselves and have no need to walk through other areas of the home.

This doesn't sound like a home to me, more like an institution.

shiveringtimber · 28/04/2019 15:32

Why did you answer the door, OP? Even if she knew you were home, it would've been "better" to not answer than to put this (unwanted) visitor in your driveway.

Obviously you wouldn't visit anyone without being invited first, but just imagine how you would feel were the roles reversed? Have you ever heard of "treat others the way you would like to be treated"?

ISpeakJive · 28/04/2019 15:39

Ok, seeing as you don't tell us what state your house is in, it could be one of these:

  1. You're a hoarder and your house is full to the brim
  2. You're a clean freak and don't want filthy shoes all over your carpet 3)Your house is just untidy and dirty 4)You just don't like other people full stop.

I do feel sorry for your child(ren) though. Some of my great memories was having my friends and family round my house for some playing, dinner, board games etc

WeMarchOn · 28/04/2019 15:44

You sound a bundle of laughs OP 🙄

WeMarchOn · 28/04/2019 15:48

I'm Autistic and there is no way in hell I would be that incredibly rude

UCOforAC12 · 28/04/2019 16:19

@FissionChips may I ask why your back garden is unusable at the moment?

ByeClaire · 28/04/2019 16:22

@FissionChips may I ask why your back garden is unusable at the moment?

It’s full of the bodies of all the prior unexpected visitors to the house.

BiscuitDrama · 28/04/2019 16:27

I feel funny about people in my house. I don’t like play dates and I particularly don’t like parents coming to pick up. I just feels like it’s an invasion.
I think it’s a common Asperger trait (have been investigating this for myself.)

I don’t think the reason really matters, in this case, though. I think it’s very rude to leave people on the driveway. If you can’t manage to do the normal thing and invite people in, for whatever reason, then you tell them that it isn’t convenient.

Or even a version of the truth would be better ‘I need a bit of notice to gear up mentally for having people in my house, but you’re welcome to play outside. Sorry, that’s all I can manage right now.’

ZeroFuchsGiven · 28/04/2019 16:28

@InfiniteCurve Was that a name change fail?

lisamac28 · 28/04/2019 16:38

There MUST be more to this story... Without context it's just a weird story altogether

Well on another thread OP said she even finds someone texting/messaging her without prior notice stressful...