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Original poster

To ask if you mutually agreed to get married did you have an engagement ring

93 replies

MafaldaGregorovitch · 27/04/2019 16:54

And if so what does it mean to you? Also when did you announce your decision to get married?

We've made a joint decision to get married. No proposal, just a mutual discussion. Part of me wanted an engagement ring but in the end we decided against it, mostly as we're on a low budget due to a recent change of circumstances.

Just wondering what others have done and how you feel about it? Also wondering when to start telling the people we'd like to invite

OP posts:
Thegirlhasnoname · 27/04/2019 16:56

No engagement ring here and we Only told people when we said “were getting married on X date, if you fancy popping along then let us know”

Inliverpool1 · 27/04/2019 16:57

Yes had a ring, no wouldn’t bother again I wish I’d had an engagement kitchen instead

Holidayshopping · 27/04/2019 16:58

Yes, we mutually agreed and yes I had a ring. I wouldn’t have missed out on the opportunity to get something sparkly!!

HolesinTheSoles · 27/04/2019 17:00

Mutually agreed to get married but still did a mini proposal with a ring. I like it as a memory of the day we got officially engaged. We told people we were engaged once we booked the wedding.

saltymofo · 27/04/2019 17:01

We decided to get married one evening in the pub. No engagement ring as we couldn't afford it. I have bought an eternity ring since, when I was left a bit of money.

agnurse · 27/04/2019 17:01

Mutually agreed, too, but still had TWO proposals! (First one at a friend's and second one in front of my parents.) Also had a ring. Not a super expensive one, but still lovely. We picked it out together.

Original poster
MafaldaGregorovitch · 27/04/2019 17:02

I wish I’d had an engagement kitchen instead

Glad it's not just me. I've felt I'd rather have an engagement holiday / new flooring! How sad is that!

OP posts:
MaHeidsGouping · 27/04/2019 17:02

I got married after a thread on here about the protection it brings. Got married in secret and told everyone after. Had a engagement ring and now a wedding ring but barely wear them tbh.

Thegirlhasnoname · 27/04/2019 17:04

No engagement ring here and we Only told people when we said “were getting married on X date, if you fancy popping along then let us know”

BuffySummerss · 27/04/2019 17:06

Yes we decide we would get married and I would have a ring. I chose my own ring and we split the cost. I love my rings! I don't expect to (who does) ever split but if we did I would carry on wearing my rings because they're beautiful.

Merryoldgoat · 27/04/2019 17:07

I love my engagement ring. We decided we were ready to have children so decided we should get married. DH was left some money unexpectedly so said ‘well, this is the engagement ring then’ which surprised me as I thought we’d get something cheap but he wanted me to have something nice.

He bought me the ring and then we told people. Married almost exactly a year later.

LarryGreysonsDoor · 27/04/2019 17:09

Nope. We decided and I never bothered with a ring. We couldn’t afford one.

Siameasy · 27/04/2019 17:10

Yes I had a ring but it wasn’t expensive. It actually proved impractical for work so I never wear it.

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/04/2019 17:12

No engagement ring. Not for him either. Didn't want one. Don't miss it.

We got married really quickly (within two weeks) and had a ceremony a few weeks later for everyone to come to. So we told people pretty much immediately. Family first but then everyone as we saw them. But even if it hadn't been so quick I don't really understand why you wait to tell people you were engaged unless there's something else going on you don't want to take attention from. It's pretty big news that you intend to get married isn't it?

JourneyToThePlacentaOfTheEarth · 27/04/2019 17:15

We agreed to get married and paid for an engagement ring from our joint account. Worn it ever since, (12 years) and love it. He lost his wedding ring at the beach after 2 years

YahBasic · 27/04/2019 17:15

Mutually agreed and picked out the ring, he then “proposed” in the kitchen.

We’re loaded & I fancied some jewellery Grin

Original poster
MafaldaGregorovitch · 27/04/2019 17:18

It's pretty big news that you intend to get married isn't it?

Sort of except apart from us and DSD, there are only actually 9 other people we'd want there and one of those is a child.

OP posts:
Original poster
MafaldaGregorovitch · 27/04/2019 17:18

He lost his wedding ring at the beach after 2 years

Ooh no!!

OP posts:
Smellybluecheese · 27/04/2019 17:25

No, we mutually agreed and no ring. Didn’t see the point and it felt a bit regressive. I do have a diamond eternity ring for a wedding ring though.

PrasadsNonDyingDeclaration · 27/04/2019 17:26

We each bought each other something, mine was jewellery and his was a piece of sculpture.

EjectorCrab · 27/04/2019 17:27

Mutual agreement to get married. Chose an engagement ring for me, watch for him together. After he collected the ring, he can home with it and proposed despite we’d already agreed to get married. We told everyone after I had an engagement ring.

BoomBoomsCousin · 27/04/2019 17:30

"Sort of except apart from us and DSD, there are only actually 9 other people we'd want there and one of those is a child."

You're talking about the wedding here. I'm talking about the engagement and the intention to become married. That's not just information for potential guests, though those would likely be the most interested in knowing, simply because they are most likely to be excited for you.

Telling people you're engaged isn't about inviting them to the wedding, it's about indicating the nature of your relationship. It's much less of an indicator now than it was decades ago because far more people have the same sort of long term intentions without ever getting married. I'm not suggesting you put a notice in the paper, but it's the sort of thing I'd let people around me know about in the same way I would a new job or that I was moving house. Big news that people who aren't strangers might like to be aware of.

nrpmum · 27/04/2019 17:31

I've found my people with engagement kitchens or holidays 😂

We mutually agreed. I have got a ring, but it's a half eternity as opposed to an engagement or wedding. It wasn't overly expensive, and it had to be flat so I didn't catch it on my motorcycle gloves 😂

Original poster
MafaldaGregorovitch · 27/04/2019 17:34

I see what you're saying @BoomBoomsCousin

Love the fact you have a motorcycle @nrpmum I'm an ex biker who'd love to get one again in the future. Hadn't even thought of the gloves issue although the wedding ring I like is flat

OP posts:
Lindy2 · 27/04/2019 17:37

Shouldn't all engagements be mutually agreed?
I have a lovely diamond ring that we chose together. It means a lot to me.
It doesn't need to be an expensive ring but I love mine as a reminder of a special time.