To ask the most bonkers mumsnet post you've ever witnessed?

[agonyauntie]

After the deletion of various threads on here (you know what I'm talking about)

Just wondered what is the most bonkers mumsnet thread you've ever witnessed or came across?

I'm sorry I missed the pan pipes playing one, sounds like a fun one.

@ playing the pan pipes in the changing room in a state of undress, oh lord that's started me off again and I'd only just stop laughing at her who's name changed and is answering herself on a current thread and one that's was deleted earlier. Jeez can you imagine pan pipe playing mother blowing hushabye baby with flaps out and poor kid wondering wtf is going on, that's what's called nurturing I spose

The one that sticks in my mind is a poster who wrote that they thought that their first c-section was harder to recover from than their second due to the fact that their first child’s father was black, and the second one was white. It didn’t make sense on any level!

CassandraCross Yes!!! Fajita Fridays was PhyllisNights if I remember rightly?! What a legend, she cropped up on a few threads with many pearls of wisdom

@namechangedbutneedadvice The name was Balonz, if I remember correctly

Balonz was fabulous! The OP played it so well indeed. There were a few po-faced troll-hunting fun sponges, but it was completely harmless and VERY funny indeed! I also liked the way that the OP suggested their baby-name shortlist as Sean, Daniel or Balonz - and then several people homed in on their perceived negatives about choosing one of the first two

I can't remember which thread it was on, but, for bizarre whimsy, I still loved the situation that somebody mentioned when an adult passenger on a plane was helping herself from the lunch box of a very small child who was next to her:
Embarrassed, loud-whispering DP: "Stop stealing the baby's food!!"
Mournful, shameless CF: "But, but.... I LIKE Marmite sandwiches!!"

Anyone remember the one where the OP claimed to have employed a nice young man who went to a particularly prestigious prep school and she wanted to know how to let all her clients know about his background?

I can't remember much more than that, I assumed it was trolling. But if it wasn't, the poster had some serious issues.

Wasn’t there once a baby called “Slithery” on here? And the OP thought her MIL was being unreasonable as she refused to use the name and called the baby “Jane” or something? 😂

That bunch of Mum Directioners with their batshit theories about two members of the boyband were quite scary. One of them had primary school aged children (so she claimed) yet lived her life on LA time so she could keep up with what her "boys" were doing in America. I think she was also the woman who was planning to upend the baby's pram onto the pavement to prove it was a doll. The fake baby is now 3 years old and a dead ringer for his dad.

"the next post was someone screaming about how she was killing the world because she'd got a helium balloon?"

There are serious problems with helium - that's not bonkers.

The badger was steamed! STEAMED, I tell you! Who on earth would roast a badger and feed it to their children?!

LuckyLou the thread contents were appalling and some of those contributors are possibly still on here having name changed.

Ah Phyllis! Where did she go??

My most favourite thread was the poster who's toddler had been running around in a pub restaurant and fallen and cracked his head on the edge of a coffee table.

She was convinced she should sue and came up with the most random arguments about why they chain were wrong to have coffee table and why they should expect a toddler to whizz through the pub!

It's the only time I've stayed up until the wee small hours due to a MN thread

Pan pipes thread sounds great. Many years ago I was going home on a crowded bus and a woman got on with a baby in a pushchair. She took up residence in the centre of the bus in the pram space (fine) and talked to the baby all the time - acceptable, I suppose, but she wasn't talking quietly. Baby got a little fractious and mother then started singing The Wheels on the Bus WITH ACTIONS. She was jumping up and down, arms flailing, many verses. The look on the baby's face was priceless - very like this . He was clearly thinking with some foreboding about the night ahead when it would be just the two of them at home.

Wasn’t there once a baby called “Slithery” on here?

There was a thread in Baby Names just titled 'Sloth?' and then the OP went on to ask people what they thought about Sloth as a name. After loads of puzzled replies saying "What, as in lazy?!" and "You want to call your child after one of the Deadly Sins?!" the OP came back and realised that autocorrect had worked its mischief and she'd actually meant to type Seth!

GabrielleNelson

We NEED to encounter more parents like this in our otherwise dull daily lives!

There was one about a woman who asked whether her ILs were BU for wanting her to buy a bus to transport the family on days out. When everyone agreed that they were BU, she then turned on everyone and defended said bus! [bus] It was a full sized bus she was talking about too!

Found it: Slithery the Baby!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/555934-mil-and-how-i-hate-her

The recent thread about the OP who seemed outraged that the nanny was showing her young child love and affection and generally interacting in a fun, age-appropriate way.

I don't know if she was expected to sit there bolt-upright with a wicked stern scowl on her face, periodically uttering menacing warnings to the child as to the dire consequences of daring to move or make a sound.

Does anyone remember the Christians against Dinosaurs one? It's in classics but sadly a lot of the best bits have been removed.

It was hilarious!

One of my faves was about how Mick Hucknall has slept with hundreds of women so there must be a few of you on here that have. Don't think anyone admitted it but loads of people piled in with stories of famous people they had slept with - named and shamed. Can't believe it wasn't pulled. Think the Daily Mail ran a cleaned up version of it.

There was one a good few years ago about birth, onewoman had been convinced Terry Wogan was present for the birth of her child. It turned out that that he had been on the radio during her transition period and she had just lost it and created this false memory

Balonz!! I loved that so much I wanted to call my cat Balonz.
Snapped and farted was so funny as the OP just didn't see how funny it was? Wasn't she at martial arts and pissed off with her not v competent DP?
Whenever I'm in Asda I think of dinosaurs.
But my all times will definitely be the elderly Korean lady (I lived near there and could picture her so clearly..New Malden I mean, not Korea) and the mexican house thief

Skettles - Thanks a lot for that!

They were also considering 'Pigeon'